Crazy On Tap

Users of Crazy On Tap

22 May 13 19:57:02 GMT

df: I've brought you all together to discuss profanities in topic subject lines. We're going to have a group session on appropriate behavior, after which we're going to break into groups to brainstorm substitutions for objectionable candidates.

For instance-

"F#C!ing FBI shoots innocent witness!"

might be rewritten as-

"Eagles soar and terrorists fall"

Hey Fuck-faces (i.e. Managers)

22 May 13 19:34:12 GMT

CircusAttraction: *You*, Mr and Mrs Manager, don't like the fact that some individuals *never* lock their computer screens when they are not present at their desk (i.e. possible security violation).

Please, do *NOT* bring us all together to discuss this and direct us to watch each other to catch any offenders in the act.

FUCK. THAT.

I'm not here to prechew anyone's food because they constantly choke on big chunks of steak that they never cut and can never swallow; I'm especially not doing that for non-infants who do not share my DNA.

---

Managers,

Please take up stupid shit, done by specific dumb-ass employees, only with those specific dip-shit employees.

Please, oh please, stop creating generic-type communications (either verbal or written) that you love to share with the entire staff. Positive events (i.e. kudos) can be done in public. Negative events (i.e. shaming) should be done IN! FUCKING! PRIVATE! you sorry excuses for chimp impersonators.

Get a fucking grip and do *YOUR* job CORR-EC-ET-ED-LY, Mr and Mrs Manager.

Thank you.

Sincerely yours,

CA

am I underpaid? part infinity...

22 May 13 17:47:42 GMT

dave: this is in Los Angeles.

7 years dev experience, about 11 years IT (biz analyst previously).

Full stack java dev, spring, hibernate, web services, templating - jsp/velocity/etc, JS (jquery, knockout, bootstrap, etc). Very good sql chops (mainly postgres).

Been working a lot with AWS products the past year, SQS, S3, SWF, Dyanmodb.

Employers have ranged from consumer facing high traffic sites to low traffic SAAS products.

Done some self study with ruby, groovy, grails, hadoop.

Team lead but no director title.

I've been at my current company about 3 years. I'm at $115k, no bonus, no 401k match, ok bennies otherwise.

Talking to buddies this seems on the low side, my impression right now is market is closer to $130k.

Thoughts?

Unfortunate adjacent headlines

22 May 13 17:35:48 GMT

Wondering: In the left column..

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/

(may not last!)

Find rich people in London and beat them up

22 May 13 17:08:41 GMT

Quant: A handy guide: https://network23.org/stopg8/files/2013/05/citymap_g8_webposter.jpg

FBI assassinates Boston bombing witness

22 May 13 15:32:59 GMT

Idiot: A witness to the bombing who has told his family he saw what happened and the FBI is lying about everything was shot today by an FBI agent who had come to "talk" to him and suddenly "felt threatened" by the unarmed man, so he shot and killed him with one bullet, execution style.

http://www.wcvb.com/news/local/metro/man-questioned-in-boston-marathon-bombing-shot-killed-by-fbi/-/11971628/20250158/-/k4uelaz/-/index.html

Aspies strike back

22 May 13 11:35:53 GMT

Quant: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-22621829

Don’t Sign An NDA Before A Programming Job Interview

22 May 13 05:17:55 GMT

Code Monkey: http://www.realfreemarket.org/blog/2013/05/21/dont-sign-confidentiality-agreements-before-a-programming-job-interview/

When looking for a job, there are a lot of people who are wasting time and not serious about hiring someone great. If someone has a psychopathic/parasitic personality type, they actually will be frustrated if they hire someone really talented, rather than appreciating their contributions. If someone is rude to you during the job interview process, that’s a dead giveaway that they will be rude once you work for them.

I already mentioned that programming interview tests and assignments are almost always a waste of time. If a programming assignment is too simple, then it isn’t a real test. If it’s too long, then it’s a huge time-sink just for an interview. Multiple-choice screening tests tend to have mistakes or they focus on obscure language trivia. There are too many times that I did the test or assignment, did well, and didn’t even get an interview. My favorite is when I take a defective multiple-choice test, get 90th percentile, and the headhunter says “The client doesn’t want someone who’s 90th percentile. He wants 99th percentile.” Even more offensive, sometimes the interviewer is trying to trick me into giving him free consulting with his assignment, taking some problems he couldn’t solve and turning them into an interview assignment. Now, I don’t bother.

What’s the point of having a CS degree from a top university and more than 10 years of experience if every hiring manager is going to treat me like a completely unqualified fool? That’s a sign that writing software is not a true professional career. If the hiring manager isn’t willing to talk to you for a few minutes to figure out if you’re intelligent or not, then he’s probably clueless.

I do give code samples. For the exact same code sample, I’ve had some people say “That’s a great code sample.” and others say “That’s not good enough.” Again, it reflects more on the cluelessness of the interviewer, more than me doing something wrong.

I’ve noticed another trend. Some flaky startups demand you sign a non-disclosure or even a non-compete as a prerequisite to an interview. I’ve reluctantly agreed a few times, and regretted it. When someone demands that you sign a non-disclosure agreement before an interview, their idea invariably is incredibly stupid and not worth stealing. For example, I’ve signed several NDAs for someone making “a real estate listing website”. There literally was nothing more to their idea than “I want to make a real estate listing website.”, their spec was a copy of Zillow, and they were demanding an NDA! Do they realize how many people are entering that area?

One person even demanded a non-compete before agreeing to an interview! Why is that a bad idea? If his idea is incredibly vague and ill-defined, a “non-compete” could be interpreted as almost any other programming job! How can I agree to not compete with an idea that hasn’t been disclosed to me?

Also, for a contract to be valid, there has to be consideration, an exchange of value. If I’m signing a NDA in exchange for an interview, that isn’t a valid contract. I have to receive some tangible benefit for it to be a valid contract. Even though it may not be an enforceable contract, I don’t want to deal with someone who’s going to sue me over something trivial, especially if I later find a job that could be interpreted as related to his stupid idea.

When someone demands a non-disclosure agreement before telling you their startup idea, that’s a dead giveaway that they know nothing about running a successful business. It isn’t enough to have an idea. You also need the ability to execute.

It’s also a type of egoism, on the part of a non-technical startup founder. The non-technical startup founder brings nothing to the table, other than his ability to raise money, contacts for potential customers, and his idea. Therefore, he treats his idea as if it’s something incredibly brilliant and valuable. The nontechnical founder has been thinking about nothing but this idea for months, causing him to have an exaggerated sense of its importance.

If you’re a startup founder with an idea but no competent technical co-founder, then your startup is doomed. Unless you have a technical cofounder that can develop version 1.0 by himself in a few months, your startup is worthless. (Version 1.0 is frequently called MVP or “minimum viable product”.) If you are not technical yourself, then you are almost guaranteed to hire a good liar instead of someone who is going to create a great product.

An NDA is insulting. It says, right away, that they assume that I’m going to cheat them, rather than someone sincerely looking for a job. Do I have nothing better to do than steal your stupid idea? An NDA is an implied threat to sue someone. I don’t like it when the first thing someone does after I meet them, is threaten to sue me.

Also, I went on a few startup interviews that DIDN’T require a NDA for an interview. They had good ideas or somewhat viable ideas with a legitimate chance of success. It’s only the true fruitcakes, who demand an NDA for an interview.

There is one exception. If you get an interview at Google or some other established business that demands an NDA for an interview, then you should sign it. My “no NDA” rule is primarily directed at startup interviews. Google isn’t going to tell you the details of their search engine algorithm on an interview; what do they think they’re accomplishing with the NDA, other than making themselves seem more important than they are?

Also, to avoid confusion, it is acceptable to sign an NDA or a limited non-compete at the offer stage. It’s insulting when someone demands that before an interview. My favorite clause in an employment contract is the “non-disparagement clause”, forbidding you to say anything negative about them. Most of the people with a “non-disparagement clause” in their employment contract did some shady things.

I’m adding a new jobsearch rule, “Don’t sign an NDA as a prerequisite to a startup interview.”, in addition to “Don’t take programming tests and assignments.” These rules exist to help me avoid wasting time and energy on clueless and evil people. My primary reason is that, by requiring an NDA, the startup founder is identifying himself as someone clueless. It’s a bad idea to work for someone clueless. Such an NDA probably isn’t enforceable anyway, because there’s no consideration to make it a valid contract. I don’t want to deal with someone who might sue me over something trivial, especially if I someday find a job that might be vaguely interpreted as related.

There is one problem. If I’m the only person who refuses programming tests and NDAs, then I look like “not a team player”. If a lot of people start refusing, then employers might start to get the message “This is an insulting thing for us to demand of applicants.” The economy is bad right now, making it hard to take a principled stand. I’m doing it anyway, to avoid wasting time dealing with clueless people. After an interview with someone abusive, I feel frustrated for several hours afterwards.

These rules have been learned the hard way, rather than a result of me being stubborn. I’ve done many programming tests and assignments, and it never led anywhere, and now I refuse. What was the point of doing all that work for a CS degree, if many employers demand a stupid screening test? I know that I’m a great programmer, based on my education, raw ability, and by comparing myself to coworkers. It’s hard to measure that in a flawed multiple-choice test or short assignment. I’ve signed several NDAs for startup interviews, listened to some incredibly stupid ideas, and now I don’t do that anymore.

Synthetic Hubble

22 May 13 04:28:45 GMT

King Jeremy: Some of you observed that Hubble is quite predictable.

http://www.crazyontap.com/topic.php?TopicId=301208#884373

I downloaded all his posts and can now generate Synthetic Hubble.

Here's a sample:
"shocking. They have gotten this is using Ayn Randian. There's always have a representative of the wrong to preserve the most people tried to set off their own his inability to hit on your ideas would argue, hiring you can't use CP/M anymore. This is such a conference. I'm sorry too, then a red line like it, and crowed about how fat Samoans get?April Fools!However, it ruin the system back. You can in Cricket, and makes $22K. QUITE a red line -- the .223 round for 24 hours is nobody died.In the PROFITS of Congress.Oh, and send them from MASH. Good movie. Where by the servers) are proposing. So it's not a left-handed cat-loving liberal? Ooh! I don't have not. Video games? Perhaps.And it abundantly clear in your intellect runs into getting to parrot that Latin, if allowed to chase the data scattered around him, as I heard on ya, Morons, that's okay, but nobody would do. When have to Rick there, Muppet. QED.Meh. 50% of writing a joke then? Eh? Eh?"

Not bad. In many ways, BETTER than the original?

Stuck in the middle of politics

22 May 13 04:24:59 GMT

Dutch: I received a call from an angry director who was upset because his employees were suddenly locked out of a certain database that they once had access to. This department has been butting heads with another department as of late over control of certain systems.

My manager actually revoked their access the other day after requested by one of the supervisors in the other department. I didn't tell the director this but acted stupid and referred him to my manager when I was asked why their access was removed. The director didn't seem too crazy about my answer.

Seems there are some political games going on and my manager is either involved or stuck in the middle. Why else would this director call me? I think he expected me to give them their access back without question.

Did I do the right thing?

fake Bob Metcalfe AMA?

22 May 13 00:57:06 GMT

reddit reporter: Real photo?
Pretty weak comments.
Really him?

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1erq51/youre_probably_connecting_to_reddit_through_a/

If you are working on your own project, would you use agile?

21 May 13 23:54:46 GMT

Bot Berlin: Let's say you were working on your project, maybe with one or two others.

Would you use agile? Of course not.

Then why are we so obsessed with it?

Republican hypocrisy

21 May 13 23:53:08 GMT

Pierre Capitaile: Sen. James Inhofe, a Republican from Oklahoma, argued that there is no comparison between Hurricane Sandy relief, which he voted against last fall, and aid for his state in the wake of Monday’s devastating tornado because the two are “totally different.”

Inhofe contended on Tuesday that the Hurricane Sandy relief bill was different because it was filled with pork. “They were getting things, for instance, that was supposed to be in New Jersey,” he said on MSNBC. “They had things in the Virgin Islands. They were fixing roads there, they were putting roofs on houses in Washington, D.C. Everybody was getting in and exploiting the tragedy that took place. That won’t happen in Oklahoma.”

Question about FTE and contractor resumes for technology

21 May 13 22:50:03 GMT

Bored Bystander: I recently helped someone retool their resume. He had a lot of verbiage in his position descriptions that sounded like this:

> I was a task lead for a subsystem that was part of (program name)
> I built a facility to troubleshoot software on the (program name)

I edited this down to:

> Task lead for subsystem that

> Built facilities to troubleshoot software on

---------------------------------

So here's the specific gripe. Why do the IT field and recruiters for it frown so much upon the use of "I"?

Most "good" technical resumes make it sound like the work happened spontaneously of its own accord and the employee was just a parasite on a dole sitting by watching it happen.

IE, it feels ideological, that there is an expectation that the person denies all credit and acts thankful for the opportunity to sit in close proximity to the work being done.

I get that part of this clipped style is a copywriting convention - to eliminate empty, noise words. Sure, I get that. But it's jarring stuff to read.

Or is this stuff universal to best resume practices for all industries?

balh

21 May 13 21:42:59 GMT

what are you reading for?: FUCK

France vs. UK

21 May 13 20:26:43 GMT

Shylock: What's the final score? Anyone?

France to outlaw all guns

21 May 13 19:12:56 GMT

PigPen: Apparently their army has never really needed them. Or never been able to use them effectively ... or something like that.

And the only folk that seem to use them, get up to this
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-22614994

and this
http://news.sky.com/story/1091781/man-commits-suicide-with-gun-at-paris-school

try try again

21 May 13 17:59:36 GMT

Idiot: Keep your eye on the guy with the white shirt driving the scooter. As the video opens he is in the upper left and has just smashed into a car. People rush to help him, he continues, and immediately smashes into another car. It continues until the dramatic ending.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=af1_1369050002

I guess there's no lawsuits or such in China. In the US, everybody would be readying their insurance claims after the first bump. Here, cars get smashed into, and they don't even get out of their car, they just keep moving after the obstruction is cleared.

Oklahoma town had been trying to build storm shelters

21 May 13 17:25:22 GMT

xampl9 (Windows Phone): for years, after the nearby tornado in 1999. FEMA was going to provide funding for up to 250 storm shelters, only the city kept getting the runaround as FEMA kept changing the requirements to qualify for the money.

Daft Punk

21 May 13 16:12:48 GMT

xampl9 (Windows Phone): New album is out today.

just a reminder.

Symbol test

21 May 13 12:42:19 GMT

Morons: FYI: A letter is a Symbol.

RIP Ray Manzarek

21 May 13 12:41:34 GMT

Morons: http://ca.news.yahoo.com/publicist-ray-manzarek-founding-member-doors-dies-74-211854532.html

Life of a contractor

21 May 13 12:04:07 GMT

Quant: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/05/20/contractors_guide/

"At Deutsche Bank, an ops contractor I worked with denied rumours that he’d worked at JP Morgan previously out of shame, given JP Morgan had the worst IT of any major bank. So we asked what he’d done in those two years. “Time” was the unspoken answer. The agency had simply invented a job to cover up his time in prison for theft."

Interesting stuff for us perms.

Computer use irrelevant to education outcomes

21 May 13 11:30:43 GMT

Quant: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/05/21/computer_ownership_schools_study/

"The accepted wisdom that computers are an indispensable tool of modern education is under challenge in a study conducted for Germany's Centre for Economic Studies IFO (CESifo).

The study, published by the University of California Santa Cruz's Robert Fairlie and Johnathan Robertson, detected no difference between computer-owning children and those on the wrong side of the digital divide, on “educational outcomes, including grades, standardized test scores, credits earned, attendance and disciplinary actions”."

I don't find this result surprising at all. Computers are not a magical substitute for good textbooks, skilled teachers and pupils' hard work.

Are most mouth breathers a waste of air conditioning?

21 May 13 05:18:31 GMT

Mouth Breather: I was looking through some old posts and had to chuckle at this line that was posted by Circus.

Is he right?

Not invited to read blog

21 May 13 04:50:53 GMT

CircusAttraction: http://duatiu.blogspot.com/2011/05/duatiu-faq.html (followed link from gamedev.net)

"""
This blog is open to invited readers only

http://duatiu.blogspot.com/

It doesn't look like you have been invited to read this blog. If you think this is a mistake, you might want to contact the blog author and request an invitation.
"""

Unaccessible in google's cache nor from archive.org due to robots.txt.

Not invited? Seriously? What The Fuck Fuck, googs?!

I can only peak through the fucking window like a fucktard vagabond via
http://codesuppository.blogspot.com/2011/05/duatiu-massively-multiplayer-online.html?m=1

Not invited?! Fuck you Google; you are a disgrace to the Web and the fucking free world, you shard of camel excrement!

100% free, no registration required.

21 May 13 03:22:00 GMT

Legion: Stack Overflow's ad today gives me this:

>> Stack Overflow is a question and answer site for professional and enthusiast programmers. It's 100% free, no registration required.

What a lie! You can't ask a question without registering!

Hello Republicans: Japan Switches to Stimulus, Gets Growth; Euro

21 May 13 02:19:18 GMT

Pierre Lemons: Hello Republicans: Japan Switches to Stimulus, Gets Growth; Europe Sticks With Austerity, Stays in Recession

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ian-reifowitz/europe-sticks-with-austerity_b_3306323.html

"I did not know"

21 May 13 01:47:23 GMT

xampl9: Apparently, Eric Holder isn't the only member of the administration that is spectacularly uninformed.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/05/21/us-usa-irs-idUSBRE94F10Y20130521

>> Ruemmler chose not to inform Obama about the findings to avoid any appearance that he had any role in shaping the report - a role the president would not have taken anyway, Carney said.

As a result, said Carney, Obama did not learn of the findings until they were announced last week - as the president has himself stated. <<

Quant's friends on the london whale

21 May 13 01:40:52 GMT

Practical Economist: 2010

http://www.wilmott.com/messageview.cfm?catid=16&threadid=77562

F5?

21 May 13 01:06:22 GMT

trollop: http://gawker.com/the-biggest-most-destructive-tornado-in-history-just-508956719

There are no words.

Lunatics with guns not just an American problem

21 May 13 01:04:48 GMT

Shylock: Even a country with extremely tough gun control can't prevent it:

http://www.timesofisrael.com/police-stripped-bank-killer-of-his-firearm-after-2011-incident/

But like Canada, it doesn't happen that often.

Plus, it's not like Israelis are disarmed.

Last surviving brick and mortar stores

21 May 13 00:45:03 GMT

Bot Berlin: Are electronic and computer stores the last surviving brick and mortar shops.

And the techier you get, the better the customer return rate.

I am talking about Micro Center and Fry's.

I go there 2-3 times a week and here people talk about them all the time. Keep up the good work, keep the tech stores coming.

the new flickr

20 May 13 22:41:08 GMT

Idiot: So, Marissa has been busy after all.

New Flickr has all the features people wanted before, is free for basically everyone, and is a great Tumblr competitor, who they just bought.

Looks totally slicker than previous yahoo projects, like a modern web site.

ad hominems

20 May 13 21:42:35 GMT

CircusAttraction: I LOL when I see such zest and fervor in the comments on HN over fallacies such as "Ad Hominem" or "No True Scotsman".

They be lovin' them summ bigg werds there.

https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/

Dead Ingot bounce

20 May 13 21:41:36 GMT

Shylock, Denman's a twit: Poetry:

http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/20/dead-ingot-bounce/

Obama promises to destroy any journalists who oppose regime

20 May 13 19:57:03 GMT

Idiot: Interesting developments.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/may/20/obama-doj-james-rosen-criminality

Tesla interview

20 May 13 19:14:01 GMT

Idiot: Tesla is looking for funding.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zngK13FMgXM

armed man saves small child

20 May 13 17:36:04 GMT

Idiot: This child was being killed by a pit bull.

A man shot the pit bull saving the boy.

The DC police then arrested the man who saved the boy's life for using a gun.

After spending thousands on lawyers, they agreed to have him plead guilty and pay a $1000 fine rather than do 7 years in prison for his crimes of keeping and bearing a firearm, as is his constitutional right.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/may/19/dc-man-wont-face-gun-charges-shooting-pit-bull-att/

Lesson learned. Next time, let the dog kill the child. Just mind your own business, walk away, don't get involved.

Leaving the IT field to become a personal fitness trainer

20 May 13 16:20:56 GMT

Jack Lalanne: Assuming you are interested in the subject matter....would this be a good move or sh*tty move?

Seriously, Galaxy Note 2, I am disappoint

20 May 13 14:49:44 GMT

muppet: It's WAY faster than my original Note, but the loss of 80 horizontal pixels in portrait mode is really grating me. It considerably impacts the way webpages render, which is probably 60% of my use.

I get that 720P is the way everybody's going and all, but damn. C'mon. Why go backward?

I don't use the app tiling because using it means you have to have this annoying "drawer" always lurking on the edge of your display, which is aesthetically annoying and often a usability encumbrance. About the only positive is that the phone is WAY faster than my old one. The pen is nicer but so the fuck what, who uses that pen anyway?

Also, the "touch" tone in Android 4.1.2 is annoying as fuck and can't be changed. Googles, FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

Takei or Cho?

20 May 13 14:28:48 GMT

xampl9 (Windows Phone): Who is the better Sulu?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGcHzGBsMcA

Biker vs. Taxi (Bucharest)

20 May 13 13:28:00 GMT

Io: Fairly typical: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iOru-j35Ks&feature=share

Official IRS memory states policy of targeting right

20 May 13 10:45:53 GMT

Pierre Lemons: "Well, we keep hearing the reports and we have several specifically worded items saying who was being targeted. In fact, one of the bullet points says those who are critical of the president. So I don't know if that comes from a policy, but that's what's being reported in the press and reported orally," he told CNN's chief political correspondent Candy Crowley. "I haven't seen a policy statement, but I think we need to see that."

OFFICIAL MEMO.

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/rand-paul-claims-damning-irs-memo-exists?ref=fpb

kite power ...

20 May 13 09:26:10 GMT

eek: This is some super cool tech.

Basically, they fly a huge kite in a figure of eight pattern and it ascends, the winch functions as a generator. Then they drop the angle of the kite, and wind it back down. Expending some energy, but less than was generated in the generate phase.

Advantages :
- more wind at higher altitudes.
- lower construction costs, no need for huge concrete structures
- less environmental impact than turbines.
- kites are just cool anyhow.

A working model from 2011 : http://kiteenergy.blogspot.be/

\d issues (SO, via HN)

20 May 13 00:54:45 GMT

Idiot: \d is much slower than [0-9] because \d includes non-arabic unicode numerals, of which there's quite a few.

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/16621738/d-less-efficient-than-0-9

There's of course almost no chance you want those, so the basic take home here is never use \d.

Economic growth is a powerful too for cutting the deficit

19 May 13 22:36:45 GMT

Practical Economist: WASHINGTON — Since the recession ended four years ago, the federal budget deficit has topped $1 trillion every year. But now the government’s annual deficit is shrinking far faster than anyone in Washington expected, and perhaps even faster than many economists think is advisable for the health of the economy.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/15/business/cbo-cuts-2013-deficit-estimate-by-24-percent.html?_r=0

http://cbo.gov/publication/44172

odd congrats to tumblr

19 May 13 21:29:47 GMT

Pierre Lemons: http://threads2.scripting.com/2013/may/yahooBuyingTumblr

It looks like Yahoo is buying Tumblr.

I feel some sense of pride here because Tumblr is a descendent of products I made, Manila and Radio, that laid the groundwork for products like theirs. David Karp and Marco Arment will get rich (or richer) and that's cool because they're smart people who worked hard and made something real happened. I am in awe of systems that handle as much content as Tumblr. Their users should be in awe as well, imho.

Yet we still don't have a whole system for product development in this industry.

The rewards for digging the first holes that become the foundations for great systems like Tumblr and WordPress are minimal, if they exist at all.

Anyone got a clue for this?

19 May 13 21:00:33 GMT

Shylock, Denman's a twit: So, new job, new client. Wonderful. However, boss lady at new client wants me to stick to high level, road map architecture.

Now, I have no problem at all with taking stupid clients' money. At a certain level, you want to pay me money to do it, I'm happy to do it. But you know and I know that a) that it's worthless fluff b) creating it will take bandwidth and energy from doing something that actually creates a computer program that will solve the client's problem and c) is a dead giveaway that the project will fail in the end.

Since the project's within easy commuting distance, I'd like it to last and last. Any ideas how to maneuver this ship before it leaves port?

'Smallest Penis Contest' In Brooklyn

19 May 13 20:46:48 GMT

Bored Bystander: In the spirit of Idiot's compulsive postings of the witty i-net sensation du jour...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/17/smallest-penis-contest-brooklyn_n_3293878.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

reality check for celebrity

19 May 13 19:40:24 GMT

Idiot: Fun game checking if anyone cares about the new Spock.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tde9dAH96Ns

Developer shortage lowers wages

19 May 13 19:33:12 GMT

Idiot: The massive shortage of talent has resulted in lowered wages.

Bringing in H1Bs and increasing the talent pool would increase wages since the overall level of talent would increase, but racist american developers are opposed to letting skilled "brown people" into their country.

https://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9239308/Software_developer_wages_fall_2_as_workforce_expands

Blue rectangle with a white stripe on the middle

19 May 13 19:08:24 GMT

Io: A an abstract expressionist painting was recently sold for $43 million dollars - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/15/onement-vi-barnett-newman-painting-auction_n_3276987.html

It's a fuckin' rectangle with a white stripe on the middle! By the way, any of you noticed that the painting is standing upside down?

"We all notice the parts of security-overreach that affect us."

19 May 13 15:56:19 GMT

Shylock, Denman's a twit: http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2013/05/annals-of-the-security-state-gabriel-silverstein-division/276011/

Which is one reason why the War on Terror(TM) will never end.

That, and there is much money being made.

Society shaped by the Bible

19 May 13 14:33:01 GMT

Quant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitcairn_sexual_assault_trial_of_2004#Historical_background

Water balloon fight?

19 May 13 13:13:24 GMT

xampl9: Call the cops.

http://www.wral.com/parents-question-police-response-to-enloe-high-prank/12459772/

Why is she surprised with the results after someone called the thugs in blue?

Relax, y'all.

19 May 13 13:11:31 GMT

xampl9: I didn't draw the winning Powerball ticket, so I'll still be hanging out here.

Political Aspects of Full Employment

19 May 13 11:41:03 GMT

Quant: Every talking point of Pig Pen and his ilk has been thoroughly debunked in 1944.

http://courses.umass.edu/econ797a-rpollin/Kalecki--Political%20Aspects%20of%20Full%20Employment.pdf

what god says about your earthly kings

19 May 13 06:28:16 GMT

Pastor Bob: Welcome friends. This is the word of the Lord.

1 Samuel 8:1-21

When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as Israel’s leaders. The name of his firstborn was Joel and the name of his second was Abijah, and they served at Beersheba. But his sons did not follow his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice.

So all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah. They said to him, “You are old, and your sons do not follow your ways; now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have.”

But when they said, “Give us a king to lead us,” this displeased Samuel; so he prayed to the Lord. And the Lord told him: “Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but THEY HAVE REJECTED ME AS THEIR KING. As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you. Now listen to them; but WARN THEM solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will claim as his rights.”

Samuel told all the words of the Lord to the people who were asking him for a king. He said, “This is what the king who will reign over you will claim as his rights: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots. Some he will assign to be commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. Your male and female servants and the best of your cattle and donkeys he will take for his own use. He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves. When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, but the Lord will not answer you in that day.”

But the people refused to listen to Samuel. “No!” they said. “We want a king over us. Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.”

When Samuel heard all that the people said, he repeated it before the Lord. The Lord answered, “Listen to them and give them a king.”

I'd like to find the man

19 May 13 03:26:35 GMT

muppet: who decided it'd be a good idea to give the Galaxy Note 2 a lower resolution than the Galaxy Note (1280x720 vs 1280x800) AND a bigger display, hence a much lower DPI...

I'd like to find him, and force him to eat his own testicles.

WTF man? WTF?

The Rick Tsang of Georgia

18 May 13 22:59:12 GMT

Bot Baden: “We are against the propaganda of homosexuality,” 21-year-old student Nikolai Kiladze said. “If we need to allow parades like this in order to become a member of the European Union or other Western organizations and blocs, then I’m against joining these organizations.”

fun wireless router experiment

18 May 13 20:52:02 GMT

Idiot: http://www.dr.dk/Nyheder/Indland/2013/05/16/131324.htm

Watercress sprouted away from the router:

http://www.dr.dk/imagescaler/?file=%2FNR%2Frdonlyres%2FBE4CAC3A-4A0E-42CF-9ACB-69325246A40F%2F5130740%2Fd974b0a841c049ee834910e2c942677f_Rask_karseKontrol.jpeg&w=459&h=258&scaleAfter=crop

Watercress sprouted next to the router:

http://www.dr.dk/imagescaler/?file=%2FNR%2Frdonlyres%2FBE4CAC3A-4A0E-42CF-9ACB-69325246A40F%2F5130743%2Fdb6ac36f2c8248a1b782e25f61f5bfb2_Karse_udsat_for_t.jpeg&w=459&h=258&scaleAfter=crop

FBI investigating critics of US police state

18 May 13 20:47:10 GMT

Idiot: This guy works as a waiter and is an activist.

He was cited some time back for being on a light rail train without a ticket, which is an infraction. He didn't deal with it or pay the fine so a warrant was issued. 100% of the time with traffic and such level infractions there is no attempt to waste police resources tracking them down, it's just next time they get pulled over or whatever they then use that to take people in.

Some years pass. Police storm his workplace and arrest him based on the unpaid ticket. He is taken and interrogated for hours. Finally the FBI are brought in and they start going over his recent Facebook postings in detail, such as his claims that the banksters are stealing from the people and he supports the Occupy movement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFjD89Ao-xA

more islamic rape greatest hits

18 May 13 20:33:24 GMT

Idiot: This guy raped his sister. She got pregnant. He then killed her because her having sex out of wedlock brought dishonor to the family.

http://www.naharnet.com/stories/71106

Seen while accessing the netbanking website today.

18 May 13 16:41:55 GMT

Matchu: Unable to reach destination.
BELOW URL NEED TO DELETE AFTER TEST.
null

gay statutory rape case in Florida

18 May 13 16:41:20 GMT

Idiot: 18 yr old cheerleader having gay relations with a 15 yr old cheerleader.

When it's a 18 yr old boy and 15 yr old girl, they prosecute these cases.

And they are doing it for girl-girl as well.

The gay community is crying outrage and discrimination.

That is false though - they are being treated the same as heterosexual statutory rape cases. The gay community should be happy about this. Not everything about sex relations in this society is good.

http://www.examiner.com/article/florida-teen-fights-expulsion-and-criminal-charges-for-same-sex-relationship

awkward

18 May 13 15:09:32 GMT

gunbot: drink the water
look left
look right
fidget

http://coloradopols.com/diary/43047/video-gop-legislative-leaders-meet-aurora-shooting-father

delightful article about murder investigation

18 May 13 06:03:29 GMT

Idiot: Black girl murdered in southern town.

Local hillbilly police arrest the wrong guy, release him, then give up.

A local housewife who smells conspiracy keeps track of the case and tries to get outside help. After 4 years of sending letters to people, an investigative reporter for the BBC decides to look into it and flies out to Arkansas.

So - fancy pants British guy with strange accent in a backwards rural southern town sticking his nose where it don't belong.

This is his story.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19558804

Canadian government billboard seen in bay area

18 May 13 05:54:41 GMT

Idiot: http://www.flickr.com/photos/alchemicalnature/8748591003/in/photostream

Text: "H-1B Problems? Pivot to Canada. New Start-Up Visa. Low Taxes. immigration.gc.ca/startup"

death row

18 May 13 03:30:18 GMT

left nut: Since 1976, more than a hundred and thirty people on death row have been exonerated. DNA testing, which was developed in the eighties, saved seventeen of them, but the technique can be used only in rare instances. Barry Scheck, a co-founder of the Innocence Project, which has used DNA testing to exonerate prisoners, estimates that about eighty per cent of felonies do not involve biological evidence.

HILIARY WAS PLAYING VIOLIN WHILE the Embassy was attackeD!!!

18 May 13 02:41:38 GMT

wing.nut: http://c7.nrostatic.com/sites/default/files/styles/nrd_cover_overlay/public/uploaded/cover_130603_toc.jpg?itok=qnguLwD0

PROVED.

IRS and targetting

17 May 13 23:59:52 GMT

MobyDobie: It was not politically biased for the IRS to target tea party groups, because the tea party opposes higher taxes, so are most likely committing tax fraud.

It was not politically biased for the IRS to target anti abortion groups, because....

(sorry I am having difficulty completing the 2nd one. Could someone help!)

Toronto mayor Rob Ford!!!!!

17 May 13 22:37:55 GMT

zed: Accused of placing fridge campaign magnets on voter cars!
I predict he leaves office very soon.
The conservative mayor is in deep shit!

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/canada-politics/toronto-mayor-rob-ford-under-investigation-placing-fridge-213320469.html

High school dropout & car thief, makes 450M, gets elected

17 May 13 21:07:35 GMT

zed: To congress!

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darrell_Issa

Star Trek

17 May 13 16:17:32 GMT

Lee: Meh. Another action movie, albeit a well made one. Nothing philosopical or deep about it.

I'm gonna be really really disappointed if JJ Abrams make a Star Wars similar with the Trek movies he made.

I don't know what is the formula they choose to showing movies in the rest of the world first before the States but the last two blockbusters (Iron Man 3 and this Star Trek) are shown before US but the Great Gatsby is premiered at the same time.

man defends self, with video

17 May 13 15:31:12 GMT

Idiot: Warning: death

With 18+ sign in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=0UgwfGl_bnI

Bypassing 18+ sign in:

http://www.nsfwyoutube.com/watch?v=0UgwfGl_bnI

Thank goodness this innocent man was armed or he would have been killed by the criminal he defended himself against.

Today at Amy's

17 May 13 07:39:57 GMT

Idiot: Scottsdale's #1 tourist attraction is now Amy's Baking Company, with people from throughout the world driving and flying in to town and trying to get in to try the food.

http://www.bizjournals.com/phoenix/news/2013/05/15/amys-baking-company-turning-into.html

Very unfortunately, they are "closed for business" while this interest is happening. Oh well.

The Office final episode

17 May 13 05:28:03 GMT

Legion: It is over. Thank heavens.

I don't think it is a spoiler to say:
It was stupid and not worth watching.

boston confession manifesto found

17 May 13 04:42:15 GMT

Idiot: The Chechen muslim terrorist left behind a manifesto explaining his motivations.

The manifesto was written in sharpie ink on the inside of the small boat where he was hiding.

No one noticed the manifesto before and it didn't show up on previous photographs, but now it has been found.

So now we know what the true motivation was. Terrorists don't want us in Iraq and Afghanistan.

That only proves how effective these wars are - the terrorists are scared!

Rah rah america! This manifesto is definitely legit, after all the New York Times claims it is real.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/17/us/boston-bombing-developments.html?pagewanted=all

in 1918 the navy was the borrowing binoculars from civilians

17 May 13 03:09:22 GMT

holy right wing batman: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/roadshow/archive/200204A09.html

man shoots himself

17 May 13 02:00:38 GMT

gunbot: Man accidentally shoots self while bowling, police say
Witnesses say bowling ball hit victim's leg at Jupiter Lanes

Read more: http://www.wpbf.com/news/south-florida/Palm-Beach-County-News/

Kai in trouble

16 May 13 21:37:18 GMT

Idiot: Kai the hatchet guy is in trouble.

Kai is a homefree guy who couchsurfs and plays the guitar. He's famous for using a hatchet to stop a crazed madman.

It seems a Wall Street attorney was seen on camera approaching Kai and inviting him to stay at his place.

Later Kai posted an update that the man had raped him.

Then a few days later it was found that the man was dead.

He's a rich powerful guy, so they are looking to take Kai down.

http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news%2Flocal%2Fnew_jersey&id=9104988

Very similar to the case in UAE where an Australian woman was raped, then arrested and sentenced to prison for the crime of being raped.

Facebook question

16 May 13 20:49:59 GMT

Dan: I accepted a friend of friend in Facebook.
This guy changed his name to a girl name and replaced his image with a girl's picture.

What kind of shtick or trick is he playing?

What do you think?

strange language

16 May 13 15:56:40 GMT

Idiot: Saw a weird comment on a blog that looked like the person randomly hit keys. Excerpt: "izda ma tixtrix il-mewt".

On a whim I pasted it into google translate and it said "From: Maltese - detected" and translated it.

So I thought:

1. Wow - the comment was real language.
2. Wow - Google has Maltese translation too?
3. Wow - Maltese is a language?
4. Wow - that is a weird language.

Another diet fad soon to be debunked

16 May 13 15:25:21 GMT

Canned Gods Inc.: http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2013/05/14/report-questions-benefits-of-salt-reduction/?hpt=hp_bn13

They tried to demonize fat.
Then it was animal protein.
Then it was carbs.
Then it was sugar.
Then it was salt.
Care to guess what's going to be the next bogeyman?

Each and everyone of these theories have been put into question at one point or another. Nutrition might be a science, but it's far from a settled one.

Videos of Angelina Jolie's boobs on You tube.

16 May 13 11:26:07 GMT

MobyDobie: There were some: but they have been removed.

Against Gay Marriage - Not Homophobic!

16 May 13 11:23:06 GMT

MobyDobie: Guy phones up a radio talk show, says he's against gay marriage

"Isn't that homophobic?" ask the presenter.

"No" says the guy, "I'm against all marriage. I've been married 4 times, and every time it's ended in a fucking disaster..."

Well it was funnier if you were listening.

The first Windows 8 notebooks and ultrabooks that make sense...

16 May 13 10:15:10 GMT

Bluebeard: ... from a form factor point of view.

Both devices are smart... the notebook puts the screen where you want it for both touch and keyboard input.

The ultrabook's transition to tablet is the easiest I've seen so far.

http://blogs.windows.com/windows/b/windowsexperience/archive/2013/05/03/acer-announces-new-windows-8-pcs.aspx

Daughter rebukes her feminazi mother Alice Walker

16 May 13 07:10:57 GMT

Bluebeard: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1021293/How-mothers-fanatical-feminist-views-tore-apart-daughter-The-Color-Purple-author.html

Interesting how her mother cloaked being a selfish, self-absorbed bitch in a veil of feminist rhetoric.

how to buy a billion dollars worth of artwork

16 May 13 06:54:56 GMT

Idiot: So this guy is a postal clerk and his wife is a librarian. Both make modest salaries.

They think art is cool and when they started collecting they couldn't afford expressionist stuff so they would go to galleries and buy little pieces by minimalists. Minimalism wasn't popular when they started and often they were the first person to buy something from an artist.

Because they have good taste all the artists they bought from ended up becoming famous.

Because they were the first to be nice to a lot of guys that become big name artists, who understood their situation with being poor, they were able to continually buy cool pieces for not much money.

After 40 years of this they amassed the most valuable private art collection in US history.

http://mentalfloss.com/article/48844/how-working-class-couple-amassed-priceless-art-collection

People who glare when walking past you

16 May 13 04:55:33 GMT

.: Ever have this happen at work?

You walk past someone. They glare at you and have a shit faced look. You nod, smile, and/or greet them. They continue to glare and/or barely mumble a greeting

Let's say this happens with the same person over and over again. Do you:

1) Continue to greet the person knowing that it won't be reciprocated

2) Refrain from making eye contact and ignore

3) Glare at them back

4) Make a smart ass remark

??

homeowner saves self by shooting intruder

16 May 13 02:46:32 GMT

Idiot: Three armed criminal invaders smashed into this man's house and beat him, then stuffed him in a closet so they could ransack the place.

He was able to free himself. He waited until they left then went downstairs with his gun. Turned out one of them was still left, and that intruder shot at him. Fortunately, because he was armed, he was able to defend himself in the ensuing gun battle.

If he was not armed he would be dead now.

It's so very important to support homeowner's rights to keep and bear arms.

http://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/houston/article/Intruder-shot-in-gunfire-with-Houston-resident-4515546.php

I finally got caught up on Amy's

16 May 13 01:27:50 GMT

Bot Berlin: I have watched Kitchen Nightmares in the past. Ramsay was WAYYYYY NICER THAN PREVIOUS SHOWS.

(in previous shows): He has walked in and immediately started mocking the owner. And never had a positive thing to say until they fixed their shop.

With Amy, Ramsay praised their desserts. I thought this might end up OK.

NO, Amy just wouldn't listen at all. Shouldn't wouldn't listen to Ramsay or the people on the Internet. Whenever there was a hint of criticism, she attacked.

Epic fail on her part and it couldn't have easily been avoided.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjgHEctcy0

prosecutor offers chemist teen "diversion"

16 May 13 00:07:15 GMT

Idiot: Other reports on this are falsely claiming charges are being dropped. That is completely false. She is being offered a plea bargain. She pleads guilty to the charges and undergoes a probation and if she complies with probation, her record will be expunged. That's what "diversion" means.

Do not be fooled by claims they are dropping charges.

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/breakingnews/os-kiera-wilmot-no-prosecution-20130515,0,4556500.story

Palestinians smuggling contraband from Egypt

15 May 13 23:31:27 GMT

Idiot: Hopefully the Zionists will be able to carpet bomb to stop these deliveries through secret tunnels.

Or maybe the US can send a nuclear armed warship.

http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Middle-East/2013/0515/KFC-smugglers-bring-buckets-of-chicken-through-Gaza-tunnels

> For six years, Rafat Shororo longed for the taste of a KFC sandwich he had eaten in Egypt. This week, he got his finger lickin' fix at home in the Gaza Strip after a local delivery company managed to smuggle it from Egypt through underground tunnels.

> "It has been a dream, and this company has made my dream come true," says Mr. Shororo, an accountant, as he receives his order from the delivery guy.

> The al-Yamama company advertises its unorthodox new fast-food smuggling service on Facebook. It gets tens of orders a week for KFC meals despite having to triple the price to 100 shekels ($30) to cover transportation and smuggling fees. The deliveries go from the fryers at the Al-Arish KFC joint 35 miles away to customers' doorsteps in about three hours.

AMA by Amy's former employee

15 May 13 22:51:08 GMT

Idiot: http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1eegnm/former_waitress_katy_cipriano_from_amys_baking/

Key highlights:

Employee thinks that Samy's threat to Ramsey, saying that he was a "real gangster" was true, because the restaurant is closed for weeks at a time and yet somehow they always manage to pay their bills for rent and supplies.

How many restaurants this unpopular can say the same? Aren't most restaurants just barely profitable? If you are open "whenever" and are closed randomly for weeks at a time while you are somewhere undisclosed and can't be reached, would you be profitable?