Mr. X goes on vacation and the fucking accounting system, the one he always handles and sort of keeps me from learning, is what breaks.  Now I've got the whole accounting staff (who are like God around here) breathing down my neck to get it fixed, and I have NO idea where to even start.

This happens EVERY TIME Mr. X takes a week off.

I've had to teach myself every fucking thing I know at this fucking job.  No training, no documentation of anything, no nothing.  Just "here's your desk, good fucking luck." and now I'm on the hook whenever something crashes and burns and the one guy who knows how to fix it isn't here because it's SORT OF KIND OF tangentially related to stuff I do.

This is bullshit.  I'm sick of this fucking place.

Uh, that's usually a sign of embezzling. Or it could just be a broken accounting system.

Since you've said they pretty much can't fire you, the response should be:

"Yes, it sucks that the system isn't working and Mr. X is the only one who knows how to make it work.

"I am doing my best to figure out how the system works and get it going again.

"The more time you guys spend telling me how important it is to get it going, less time I can spend trying to get it going.

"Be sure to tell Mr. X to document how this thing works for the next time he goes on vacation."

You ever try telling anyone that it isn't your responsibility?

I worked as a night op at a place before being hired on as a programmer. This one woman kept coming to me after the transition with things that were fubarred in the night op process.

She tattled to my boss when I told her it wasn't my responsibility, said I was rude and unhelpful. I apologized to my boss for stepping on her toes and he said she had big feet. She never came to me with that stuff again though.

There's already precedent for me handling this bullshit in Mr. X's absence, so I'm screwed.  Granted, it's two year old precedent for a different aspect of the system, but that's irrelevant in this place.

No, it's not embezzling.  The accountants keep a very close watch on EVERYTHING which is why this is such a pain in the ass.  Mr. X is not an island, he's just the IT guy.

No, no, don't say "sorry, not my problem."  If you've gotten the request (or demand, it sounds like in this case), you pretty much have to deal with it.

But you don't have to take part in the panic that everyone else is feeling.  They're leaning on you because they're screwed w/out "their system" and they have no idea what to do about it.

But if you know that in the end you're not going to be in trouble over the incident, then all you have to do is focus on trying to fix the problem.  You're screwed in terms of getting any other work done, and if it's a stupid system then it's an overall waste of time, but basically just spend the day working on the problem as much as you can and tell anyone who comes by and adds to the pressure to bugger off.

Muppet how are your skills at telling people to bugger off?Aside from here on CoT...

You say:

"I'm working on it.  It's not making me work any faster to have you come in and tell me how important a job this is.  It's _really_ not making me work any faster to have my boss to come in and tell me how important a job this is.  You have to talk to Mr. X when he's back and have him document how this stuff works for next time he's away."

Basically I've told the boss "This is one of the few remaining areas where Mr. X generally swoops in and saves the day.  There's no documentation for this, so I'll work with the vendor and see what I can do."

He can't really argue with that, and so I'll spend the rest of my day (maybe the next two or three days) exchanging emails with the vendor (who has been acquired twice in the past 3 months and whose support staff seems more and more anemic.)

You have to use it like a mantra.  Say the same thing, in as low-key a way as possible to anyone who asks you about the problem.

Dude, that is so effective. I just discovered it through observation.

I am where I am because someone adopted the phrase: The information doesn't work for us, we work for the information.

Vendor's contribution to my high priority support ticket thus far (T plus 45 minutes):

"Changed product from XXXX Asset Mgt to XXXX Supplies Mgt" - BW.

My reply:

"Well gee, BW, that is by far the finest response to a high priority support ticket I have received to date.  You ought to be commended for your sharp attention to detail and keen insight.  Now, do you suppose you might engage one of your colleagues over in Supplies to be certain that this high priority, no fooling ticket is seen to within the SLA?  Oops too late."

OK not really but sooo tempted.  :-P