Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road in New York state one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the limo. The driver attempted to avoid it but couldn't - the aged bovine was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists.
About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the limo with his clothes in total disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, his face all smeared with lipstick.
"What happened to you?" Hillary demanded to know.
"Well," the driver replied, "The farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made mad, passionate love to me!"
"My God! What did you tell them?" asked Hillary.
The driver answered, "I just stepped inside their door and said, I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow. The rest happened like lightning!!"
September 5th, 2006 9:56pm
*very* mildy entertaining.
September 5th, 2006 10:15pm
While he was in office, Bill Clinton was driving with Hillary through Hope, Arkansas. Bill asked the driver to pull into a 7-11 because he wanted a coke and a bear claw. When they walked in, the cashier said "Hillary? Long time no see!" Hillary walked over and they talked for a while.
When they were back in the limo and pulled away, Bill asked "who was that?"
Hillary said "I dated him in high school."
Bill smirked, prompting Hillary to ask "what?"
"I'll bet you're glad you didn't keep dating him!"
"Look - you're married to the President of the United States!"
Hillary sighed, then said "if I had married him, HE would be President of the United States, you moron."
September 5th, 2006 11:07pm
Yep, and if Hilary ever gets elected, and decides to have an affair, we'll probably never find out about it.
September 5th, 2006 11:30pm
Why am I thinking of a praying mantis here?
September 6th, 2006 1:31am
Hell, that's a black hole of funny. It sucks the funny out of nearby jokes and renders them unfunny as well.
I smiled at the first joke.
September 6th, 2006 10:54am