Reconciling assholes for nearly a decade.

Sexual urges. Of men. vs. women

Sexual urges of men and women
"I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words "I do."
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT???"
So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.
The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different, very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say OK. And then we go to the jewellery department where she gets a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you. She was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this, and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face. It went completely blank. I then said, "Really, honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."
I figure that I won't be having sex again until some time after the Spring of 2008 but godammit it was worth it."
Author unknown



http://www.kolumbus.fi/antti.brax/FUN/SEX.html
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
September 7th, 2006 11:24pm
I weep for our future.
Permalink Send private email Jöhn Härën 
September 7th, 2006 11:28pm
That was awesome. Really sad, but awesome.
Permalink wheeeee ~~~~x 
September 8th, 2006 12:15am
Correction.  I weep for TAW's future ;-)
Permalink Send private email Jöhn Härën 
September 8th, 2006 12:15am
Completely beautiful.
Permalink Send private email Aaron F Stanton 
September 8th, 2006 12:28am
Our relationship is nothing like that, and I can't possibly imagine it ever becoming anything like that. All of these "my marriage is like this" posts... yeah, I never get them.
Permalink wheeeee ~~~~x 
September 8th, 2006 12:41am
What?  You've got to be kidding.
Permalink Send private email Aaron F Stanton 
September 8th, 2006 12:43am
This forum is turning into a dumping ground for the worst links that make it onto Reddit's top 10.
Permalink Paul Graham 
September 8th, 2006 12:45am
"This forum is turning into a dumping ground for the worst links that make it onto Reddit's top 10."

Note that I only do this when it is DEAD here on CoT.

I think CoT qualifies as dead right now.

Wanna fight about it?  Flaming boobs here.  You be toast.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
September 8th, 2006 12:47am
mmmm... toast...
Permalink Send private email Jöhn Härën 
September 8th, 2006 12:50am
with butter. hmmmm.
Permalink Send private email Locutus of Borg 
September 8th, 2006 2:29am
OMG that was hilarious.

Gonna send that to a friend.
Permalink flash91 
September 8th, 2006 10:41am

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