8, 8 days until Disney! Ah ha ha!

So I rescued a snapping turtle from a bunch of teenagers today

Big fucker, too.  He was on the side of the road near a bridge that goes over the Quinnipiac river.  Black shell.  Smelly bastard with huge claws and in a BAD mood.  I saw him as I drove past on my way home from the grocery store, turned around, and went to get him off the street.

As I pulled up, a bunch of kids pulled up too.  One girl tried to pick the guy up with her bare hands and dropped him when he almost took her finger off.  After her male friend basically told her she was an idiot, she decided that if she couldn't save it she'd kick it and step on it instead.

So I told them to leave the poor guy alone, and amazingly they actually listened to me (whoa).  I went and got a canvas sack from my trunk and used it to put the dude back by the water.

He was probably 22 inches from the tip of his nose to the end of his tail, with spines on shell and tail, and claws that looked like bird talons.  He looked like some kinda dinosaur.  He wasn't very grateful for the help, either.
Permalink Send private email muppet 
September 9th, 2006 6:21pm
Lose any appendages?
Permalink Send private email Aaron F Stanton 
September 9th, 2006 6:22pm
Nope.  I've handled animals like him before, so I was REALLY careful.
Permalink Send private email muppet 
September 9th, 2006 6:23pm
Riding crop girl, for one.
Permalink Send private email Aaron F Stanton 
September 9th, 2006 6:24pm
Never imagined turtles could be agressive.
And you faced a bunch of teenagers. Thats the dangerous part.
Permalink Funny Bünny 
September 9th, 2006 6:34pm
Snapping turtles are INCREDIBLY aggressive.  They have even bigger ones down south that are basically small alligators with shells.
Permalink Send private email muppet 
September 9th, 2006 6:36pm
The bastards look scary. Full of rock like things on their skins and a sharp beak.
Permalink Funny Bünny 
September 9th, 2006 6:39pm
When I was a kid, my grandma killed one with a hammer, bashed its head in, and made soup out of it.  The bastard's heart was still beating for over an hour after it was dead, even cut out of the body.

Those things are fucking *tough*.
Permalink Send private email Aaron F Stanton 
September 9th, 2006 6:45pm
He was a little darker in color than this guy:

http://www.muskokaheritage.org/gallery/Snapping-turtle-1-l.jpg
Permalink Send private email muppet 
September 9th, 2006 6:54pm
ZOMBIE TURTLES!
Permalink Funny Bünny 
September 9th, 2006 6:54pm
"When I was a kid, my grandma killed one with a hammer, bashed its head in, and made soup out of it.  The bastard's heart was still beating for over an hour after it was dead, even cut out of the body.

Those things are fucking *tough*."

YOUR A REDNECK
Permalink  
September 9th, 2006 7:18pm
Wow, you have inferior spelling/grammar skills to a redneck, what does that make you?
Permalink Send private email muppet 
September 9th, 2006 7:19pm
"YOUR A REDNECK"

YOU'RE a retard.
Permalink 342 
September 9th, 2006 7:20pm
No, I'm not a redneck, my grandma was.

Subtle difference.
Permalink Send private email Aaron F Stanton 
September 9th, 2006 7:22pm
"Wow, you have inferior spelling/grammar skills to a redneck, what does that make you?"

YOUR DADDY AND NO I WILL NOT CHANGE "YOUR" TO "YOU'RE" CAUSE IM COOL LIKE THAT. SAME WITH "IM" I WILL NOT CHANGE IT TO "I'M"
Permalink  
September 9th, 2006 7:44pm
The all caps thing also makes you like you might be 14.
Permalink Send private email Aaron F Stanton 
September 9th, 2006 7:49pm
Dr. Stanton is on the money.
Permalink Funny Bünny 
September 9th, 2006 7:52pm
----"No, I'm not a redneck, my grandma was."----

Well, that's OK. When you were talking about her making fresh turtle soup I thought for a minute she might have been French.
Permalink Send private email Stephen Jones 
September 10th, 2006 7:52am
Just out of curiosity, how do you handle one of those beasties muppet?  A rough guess would have me grabbing the shell between the front and back legs and keeping the head end well away from any appendages.  But how far around can that neck reach?  Also, how vigorous is he going to get with those talons?  Can he do the rabbit's trick of reaching up over has head and smashing the hell out of you with this?
Permalink Send private email Clay Dowling 
September 10th, 2006 1:49pm
I took a canvas shopping bag, doubled it up, and used it as a sort of glove to grab him by the shell just in front of his rear legs.  His legs can't articulate enough to reach your hands, and as long as you hold him away from your body, he can't claw your chest or abdomen.  His head/neck can't reach well past a 120 degree or so cone from the front of his shell.

Despite all this, they will throw their weight around considerably by waving legs and tail, and attempt to twist themselves out of your grip (at which point they might either run or clamp on to your toes).  I had to keep a good grip on the dude to get him down to the river.

Actually I gave up a few feet short because his wiggling was getting VERY vigorous.
Permalink Send private email muppet 
September 10th, 2006 2:09pm
Would covering his head work? Like of what you do with dogs?
Permalink Funny Bunny 
September 10th, 2006 4:01pm

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