You know what you never see in movies?
Really handsome guys telling plain girls "I don't care about your looks, I fell in love with what's inside."
Except maybe in Shallow Hal.
But there's a never ending stream of attractive women telling plain men that.
Maybe it's because more men write movies than women?
September 10th, 2006 5:34pm
Perhaps its because feeding adolescent male fantasies is where the money is?
I don't know, would a woman be willing to shell out bucks to see her fantasies 'made real' on the screen? And if she were, what would those fantasies be?
I'm sure adolescent males are very visually oriented, having been one myself once. But I'm not so sure about adolescent females.
September 10th, 2006 5:37pm
To be an ugly woman in this country is to be nothing. Noone wants to even get near that subject. Shallow Hal was just some pretty girl pretending to be ugly. Not the real thing.
I also yearn to hear
"I don't care about how you saves me from those crazy monsters. It's your eight-inch member that swung it for me."
Wouldn't adolescent female fantasies be Cindarella stories where she meets a rich & handsome man?
But the woman is never plain, even if she appears plain in her original clothes, she's beautiful once the fairy godmother works her magic.
Maybe that's an important difference - men don't want to be handsome, they just want to get laid. Women want to be beautiful and rich.
September 10th, 2006 5:40pm
"God help you if you are an ugly girl
Of course, too pretty is also your doom
Because everyone harbors a secret hatred
of the prettiest girl in the room.
And god help you if you are a phoenix
And you dare to rise up from the ash
A thousand eyes will smoulder with jealousy
as you are just flying past."
~ Ani DiFranco
September 10th, 2006 6:00pm
"To be an ugly woman in this country is to be nothing. Noone wants to even get near that subject. Shallow Hal was just some pretty girl pretending to be ugly. Not the real thing."
Fucking oath: I *hated* that movie. (and what was that other one, Frankie and Johnny, where *Michelle Pfiffer* was supposed to the the 'plain' one?? Who the hell thought *that* up??)
The thing that really fucks me off, though, is this idea that there is a slight chance that a guy may fall in love with your 'inner beauty'. Why the hell can't we accept that everyone has a different view of what is and isn't physically attractive? (Yeah, guess who isn't blonde and tiny).
September 10th, 2006 6:21pm
Hey, I don't like blondes!
Ok, that was a lie.
What'd I say?
September 10th, 2006 6:23pm
September 10th, 2006 6:33pm
IDK, I think the inner beauty thing comes into play, but well down the line after the guys is, basically, too old for the singles scene. I'm reading this book where the author interviewed a bunch of single men and married men and basically, the men decided to get married when they felt they couldn't cut it anymore in their old pickup spots.
Until then, it's just about getting laid.
As far as I can tell, men & women weigh attractiveness as equally important when it comes to choosing someone to date.
September 10th, 2006 6:34pm
People are so incredibly shallow...
What'd I say?
September 10th, 2006 6:37pm
"As far as I can tell, men & women weigh attractiveness as equally important when it comes to choosing someone to date."
'Course they do. Thing is, though, what guy no. 1 likes isn't the same as what guy no. 2 likes, or guy no. 3... I once had a workmate say to me "Oh, you're so lucky: you know that WsV likes you for you, not how you look." In other words - you're ugly, but good on you for grabbing someone! Fucking insulting and not true: he approached me because he liked how I looked, not because he looked at me and thought "Gee, I'll bet she's a nice person..."
You don't have to look like Pammy to get hit on :-)
September 10th, 2006 6:51pm
Beauty is always on the eye of the beholder. What one finds attractive, others might despise.
September 10th, 2006 6:53pm
Pammy? As in Anderson. Yech.
I remember in high school, so many people would say "he/she could do better than that" and I was always like "wtf? they like each other, who really cares whether or not you think she's pretty."
But I'm not implying that looks are the ONLY thing, like you are. They're A thing, but certainly not the only factor.
What is it you think keeps relationships together, what happens when someone better looking comes along?
September 10th, 2006 6:57pm
I spent 5 years with a woman who was not attractive to most of my friends but I never felt as good with anyone as with her. I don't even remember why we broke up. Maybe we could get back together again.
September 10th, 2006 7:00pm
"What is it you think keeps relationships together, what happens when someone better looking comes along?"
Ah, you misunderstand me, Grasshopper.
Looks are the original attractant, the "Hell, I wanna talk to her/him" thing. In terms of an enduring relationship they count for much less. When you first lay eyes on someone you don't know anything about them, so personality plays no part. Once you get to know and like them though you move from lust to love, and to a long term thing.
September 10th, 2006 7:08pm
"Maybe we could get back together again."
Why not? And who cares what your mates think!
September 10th, 2006 7:09pm
> Why not? And who cares what your mates think!
I don't. I care about what *she* thinks. Thats the most important part.
September 10th, 2006 7:13pm
Oh fuck off with the grasshopper thing. Seriously, WTF is that? You trying to discount my argument by implying I'm somehow inexperienced?
So you're saying "all relationships are based on two people who never had a chance to get to know each other prior to them dating." Because you know, people never, ever, ever date people they've known for at least a short while before one asks the other out. Nope, never happens.
September 10th, 2006 7:14pm
"You trying to discount my argument by implying I'm somehow inexperienced?"
Ahhhh, fuck off yourself. You're taking this shit waaaay too seriously. Toodles.
September 10th, 2006 7:35pm
Yeah, I know I overreacted. Sorry.
September 10th, 2006 7:40pm
Anyway, I still disagree that looks are the only reason two people get together.
September 10th, 2006 7:47pm
Unattractive women test poorly with all audiences, male and female. You're up against biology here.
September 10th, 2006 7:52pm
I don't know that it is biology so much as culture.
"I still disagree that looks are the only reason two people get together."
yes, because all of us here are in the habit of chatting up girls we consider to be ugly.
The thing you have to understand is that not everyone is as desperate as you, its actually kind of rare for the rest of us to think "hey, that girl over there looks like a real dog, I wonder if she'll let me go down on her if I beg a little..."
September 10th, 2006 9:05pm
Status and beauty seem to be inversely related. Or rather one is traded for the other. As men have traditionally had more status, they trade it for beauty.
BTW, as women have gained more status and power (in the workplace and elsewhere) what you find is that high-status women are opting for prettier men (hence the whole metrosexualism thing). If a man isn't making substantially more money (or street cred) than a woman, he better be in shape and use hair product and tweezer his eyebrows and shave down there.
September 10th, 2006 9:27pm
I second sharkfish that culture plays a big role. Colm is also right but biology goes only so far. Easily observable traits like being tall or thin may be preferred over short or fat. Culture takes over after this. If it is strong, it might even override and accept what biologically is not a preferrable trait to be considered attractive.
Usually it's not clear as to why one is attracted to someone. Is it her eyes or is it her personality? It's not something one can easily know or explain the reason. That's why people get attracted to others whom we wouldn't expect them to.
It usually happens without someone consciously thinking about it. If they start to think it usually goes in the lines of comparing themselves with their friends of the same sex whom they think aren't attractive. They think if he/she can have an attractive partner they can do much better than that. There's nothing inherently wrong to think this way but it usually doesn't occur at all if you like someone very much.
September 11th, 2006 3:38am