Sanding our assholes with 150 grit.

Anybody want to be a criminal?

Seriously.  You ever feel that doing something criminal even for a little bit would be interesting.  Not like a hitman but like sell bad watches or something.  Or some kind of information security stuff.  Our laws are a little sketchy anyway, might as well take some off the top.

In the back, back, back, back of your mind.

I have only known two people personally that have been in jail.  The president of our fraternity class.  He was arrested for credit card fraud or something.  3 years in jail  and went back to school.  Cool guy.

And my cousin who was involved in a murder, he was a repo man and a job that went bad, 5 years lived with parents after that most of his life.
Permalink Send private email Bot Berlin 
September 10th, 2006 7:04pm
...I think CoT has jaded me.  I used to be a nice person.
Permalink Send private email Bot Berlin 
September 10th, 2006 7:04pm
What does CoT have to do with your inability to straighten out your life?
Permalink Funny Bünny 
September 10th, 2006 7:06pm
Been there, done that, and I wouldn't recommend it unless you're VERY good at it.
Permalink Send private email Mat Hall 
September 10th, 2006 7:07pm
Oh, c'mon Mat.  Tell us a story.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
September 10th, 2006 7:08pm
I've been involved on the fringes but no, I never wanted to take it up myself. Sure the money is good but my luck I'd get caught. I can't lie for shit.
Permalink Ms WsV 
September 10th, 2006 7:11pm
I've covered most of it a few times before so I won't go in to detail, but being on the wrong side of the law is not a pleasant experience...
Permalink Send private email Mat Hall 
September 10th, 2006 7:11pm
Toeing the line is already bad, let alone crossing the line.
Permalink What'd I say? 
September 10th, 2006 7:14pm
"I've been involved on the fringes but no, I never wanted to take it up myself. Sure the money is good but my luck I'd get caught. I can't lie for shit."

I don't know if it is being on the fringes, but merely walking the edge of the law.  Any lawyer will tell you that the law can be misinterpreted.  And not to mention all those arrested on hopped up drug charges.

Lets say you are a real-state dealer that makes illegal deals, I bet a lot of that is going on in New Orleans right now.  Sure, you don't want to be on the wrong side of the deal but to each his own.
Permalink Send private email Bot Berlin 
September 10th, 2006 7:29pm
Why are you even considering breaking the law?
Permalink Funny Bünny 
September 10th, 2006 7:31pm
I have broken the law at least 4-5 times the weekend.  But like I said, I wonder if the life of guy who chooses to live a less than normal life has more fun with it.
Permalink Send private email Bot Berlin 
September 10th, 2006 7:32pm
Mat is right - the courts are a huge load of no fun.  Shoveling manure for a living would be a lot better than something that involved a reasonable risk of incarceration.
Permalink Send private email Clay Dowling 
September 10th, 2006 7:33pm
Quoting Ice Cube on NWA:
"Big dicks up your ass is bad for your health".
Permalink Funny Bünny 
September 10th, 2006 7:33pm
Clay: want to share a story or three?
Permalink Funny Bünny 
September 10th, 2006 7:34pm
Lots of people have spent a night in jail for drunk driving or possession of under 1 oz of something or the like.

I've was put in jail for a while for something that was complete bullshit - protesting peacefully. Got six months and a $5000 fine because I refused to disperse when ordered. That's a political crime in my book and it completely turned me against the system. I don't trust the police or the judges at all now.
Permalink John Smith 
September 10th, 2006 7:34pm
I almost was caught for drunk driving.  I was about 200 feet from my house and the blue lights started flashing, luckily I was doing 40 mph and the guy in front of me was going at least 20 over.
Permalink Send private email Bot Berlin 
September 10th, 2006 7:36pm
I got chucked into prison for a weekend because I was skateboarding. this was in the early 90s when cops were totally facist about this heinous crime to society. Now I just deal with the annual $295 ticket. Ugh.
Permalink _ 
September 10th, 2006 7:36pm
Sure:  I didn't get the manure shoveling job. 

The rest, that's public record for anybody determined enough to find it.  The short answer is that all charges were dropped when it became clear that they were bullshit, the result of someone trying to use me as a pawn in their power struggle.

Perversely, the situation actually made me consider going to law school and becoming a prosecutor.
Permalink Send private email Clay Dowling 
September 10th, 2006 7:58pm
Isnt it funny; when I mentioned doing something illegal, everybody just naturally assumed that they would get caught and spend years in prison.
Permalink Send private email Bot Berlin 
September 10th, 2006 8:18pm
Because thats what usually happens.
Permalink Funny Bünny 
September 10th, 2006 8:33pm
Not all the time.  In the US, they say something like 10% of the population uses marijuana.  That is 30 million people and not to mention other drugs.  I dont know if the govt has the time to arrest all 30 million people for smoking doobies and then going to watch half-baked.
Permalink Send private email Bot Berlin 
September 10th, 2006 8:38pm
The cops don't really care about people smoking pot unless the people smoking it are black.
Permalink world traveler 
September 10th, 2006 8:40pm
When I worked at a Kwiki-Mart type of place in HS, I'd steal from the customers. Just not give them the right amount of change - a nickel there, a quarter there, (the most safest thing was to replace quarters with nickels). Sure once in a while someone would catch it, in which case you apologize and hand them the correct amount. But most of the time it was a fun game to see how much change you could thieve from any particular customer - a biker coming in late with his girlfriend would never count his change, hell, I could short him a whole $5 bill, if I wanted a real thrill (the thrill of almost getting my ass kicked).

I also tallied the amount in my head as I went along (hey I was a math geek). At the end of the shift I usually had enough for at least a couple Mars ice cream bars. Then I'd saunter over and treat myself, right in front of the cameras. Of course, my till was never short so the management never had cause for complaint.
Permalink Send private email just me 
September 10th, 2006 8:41pm
I was impressed until the Mars ice cream bar thing.
Permalink Send private email Steel McLargeHuge 
September 10th, 2006 8:51pm
When I was in highschool.  I used to take stuff, kind of for the thrill.  Nothing over 3-4 dollars but still, especially from large grocery stores.  And when I was doing sports, I was pissed having to pay 2-3 dollars for those met-rx style bars, so I would nab them.  I would walk around  pick one up and kind of slip it into my jacket.  I never got caught and probably did it at least 2-3 times a month.  My justification, what do they care, they make millions anyway off of their overpriced food.

We need a new way of life, follow only the rules you like.

I guess I can't lose any more respect on here, can I?
Permalink Send private email Bot Berlin 
September 10th, 2006 9:07pm
"I guess I can't lose any more respect on here, can I?"

I have more respect for Denman now.
Permalink Methuselah 
September 10th, 2006 9:49pm
http://www.urbangrower.com/
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
September 10th, 2006 10:04pm
"I got chucked into prison for a weekend because I was skateboarding."

Don't you ever forget that America is the Freest Nation on Earth!!

We must export our glorious style of freedom to all nations.
Permalink John Smith 
September 11th, 2006 12:59am
Well, I got thrown in prison in mexico for skateboarding, too, if that is any consolation. However it was easier to get out there, you just have your friend pay $100.
Permalink world traveler 
September 11th, 2006 1:30am
What exactly IS the issue with skateboarding anyway? is there some argument that this needs to be criminalized, or is is just a way to make sure that kids don't spend their time outside getting some fresh air?
Permalink John Smith 
September 11th, 2006 2:05am
Some cultures just hate freedom, I guess.
Permalink world traveler 
September 11th, 2006 3:17am
Dunno, in our town one of the local churches set up part of their parking lot as a skate park. They get the kids to handle most of the maintenance on it too, which is cool. 

They'd probably bust your chops for skating down main street, but to be perfectly honest there isn't a very good reason to be skating on main street anyway.  The side streets are a lot more convenient and you don't get swamped by one of the dance schools suddenly letting out its classes all over the formerly clear sidewalk.
Permalink Send private email Clay Dowling 
September 11th, 2006 8:34am

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