Sometimes I overreact.
The first time someone called me "son." The first time someone said "Oh do keep up" to me (I think it was Flasher T here). The Grasshopper thing that just happened.
Things could be going along just fine, then someone say something like that, and I just fly off the handle.
I'm not trying to offer any explanations (though a few come to mind), I'm just saying it happens.
September 10th, 2006 7:54pm
Yeah you shouldn't do that, I used to punch people that called me son (father issues) but then I realised it wasn't them trying to be offensive.
what are you snorting for?
September 10th, 2006 7:57pm
Uh, duh. Besides, it's not something I "do" it's something that happens. I suspect if everyone could control their emotions as much as you're implying I should be, we'd all be very different.
September 10th, 2006 7:58pm
What if I say "son of a b|#$£"? Will you kill me?
September 10th, 2006 8:00pm
Nah, it has to be new. The second or third time around I figure it's in good humor.
September 10th, 2006 8:02pm
All of this to say we found one of your buttons.
September 10th, 2006 8:07pm
On a side note, I have a friend who used to be like you.
He had a kind of Pavlov reflex that was triggered by some words or expressions (even if they are not insults per se). Needless to say that his overreactions caused him a lot of problems in both his personal and professional lives.
The cause of his odd behavior was an inferiority complex he suffered of during his adolescence. The words he did not like were what other kids were saying about him at that time. Once he understood that, his impulsiveness decreased and he became more and more calm and zen.
So may be a little introspection could help you.
September 10th, 2006 8:13pm
And thus we understand why you're going to psychiatry.
September 10th, 2006 8:15pm
Like I said, I wasn't offering any explanation, just pointing out that it happens.
September 10th, 2006 8:16pm
Oh, you'll learn better when you're older. [heh.]
September 10th, 2006 8:24pm
I think everybody has these "land-mines" in their psyche. Stuff put there as you grew up, phrases, topics, ways of putting things, that will trigger a response way out of proportion to what's going on at the time.
Personally, I know I have one about "slamming a door in my face". Sets me right off. Anger, determination NOT to be thwarted, even rage. I try to control it, knowing it's there. But it is there.
It's good you want to control your responses when these things happen.
September 10th, 2006 9:51pm
Right. I should relax by becoming a control freak.
Thank god I have COT for advice, I don't know what I would do without you guys. ;-)
September 10th, 2006 9:56pm
Yeah, I could tell using the word "control" would trigger the "control means suppress" meme.
Instead I meant it in the "allow yourself to choose a better response than the one the land-mine hands you".
The world already has enough control freaks.
Touched another land-mine there, didn't I?
September 11th, 2006 9:32am
What Somebody says is at the heart of Epictetus's philosophy. Also that of AA.
September 11th, 2006 9:50am