RIP Philo

Cold callers and door-to-door salespeeps.

BZZZZT. Ringring ringring.

How can I concentrate of getting things done with all these bloody interruptions?

I've just put the phone down on another thickaccented financial opportunist. He had the nerve to refer to a previous call by a colleague to whom I'd suggested his sticking his head up a dead dog's bum.

I can't be _quite_ as rude to the foot-in-door religous.

They are all a right royal PITA:,,1695278,00.html

What works for you?
Permalink trollop 
March 20th, 2007 8:37pm
Here, lots of times there's a delay between when you pick up and when the salesperson gets cut into the line, so you know it's a cold call.  Only very rarely am I rude, but I am brutal about cutting them off to ask what they're calling about and saying no.  If they don't get to the point right away, I cut them off and ask what they're calling about, then I say "sorry, not interested."  If they keep talking, I hang up.  At work, where I get sales cold calls and surveys, if they can get to the point quick enough and make it sound interesting quick enough, I'll listen for a while and maybe do a survey if it's short.  But I've hung up on people who promised a 2-minute survey and ran long.

I haven't yet had the courage or the need to use my favourite line: "May I speak to Mr. Ward." "Sorry, he can't talk right now, my dick is in his mouth."
Permalink Send private email Ward 
March 20th, 2007 9:13pm
> What works for you?

A poker, a woodchipper, and tabasco sauce marinade.
Permalink blahty heartsheep 
March 20th, 2007 11:27pm
> I haven't yet had the courage or the need to use my favourite line

Don't. You'll only get cold called about fruit flavoured condoms. Apparently.
March 21st, 2007 7:15am
"Hang on," says a male voice, "I'll just go and get her." We hear the sound of the phone being placed on the table. Ben smiles like an actor getting into character. Two minutes pass.

"They're not coming back, are they?" says Ben. He practically punches the disconnect button. "Some people have got no backbone. They don't want to tell you they're not interested. So they lie."</quote>

Thats what I do. It isn't because I have no backbone, it is because I want to waste as much of their lives as they've wasted of mine, making me stop whatever I'm doing to answer their fuckwitted telephone calls.
March 21st, 2007 7:19am
I tell them "I am the guard and I'm not allowed to talk on the phone".
Permalink LeMonde 
March 21st, 2007 7:42am
>> I can't be _quite_ as rude to the foot-in-door religous.  <<

I can.  Watch me.
I haven't quite sent the loonies from "Open Door Baptist Church" away in tears.  But I'm working on it.
Permalink Send private email xampl 
March 21st, 2007 8:46am
I once had a job telemarketing for a charity (I sucked at it and was fired within a month).  But I did learn that the magic words are "Please take me off your calling list."  That cuts them to the end of their script and gets them off the phone.  Maybe it also prevents future calls, I don't know, but it definitely gets them off the phone quickly.
Permalink the great purple 
March 21st, 2007 10:00am