If someone had to invent the toilet today, using modern technology, how would it be designed?

The state of the art in toiletry has a number of flaws:

1) uses lots of water
2) cold
3) causes anti-social smells
4) clogs too easily
5) ineffective ass cleaning with tp (or sprays)
6) wastes paper

Can't we solve these problems for good?

Aren't space shuttle toilets pretty well a hose that goes directly to an oriface and sucks waste up with a mild suction? (Can't make it *too* good, they got work to do up there.)

Where can I buy one?

Go to your local home appliance store and find a water-filtering vacuum cleaner.

The only idea I had recently is that I'd get a toilet that had two different flushers. One for #1, and one for #2. I hate wasting water for #1, but I don't like sticking in a few bricks into the reservoir to reduce water usage only to find my #2's aren't getting all they deserve. So two levers, for two quantities of water.

Also bidet's are cool.

"The only idea I had recently is that I'd get a toilet that had two different flushers. One for #1, and one for #2."

That's pretty much every toilet pot sold here these days.

The US standard is now 1.6 liters per flush. 

Unfortunately, 1.6 liters is not enough to clean up after El Dorado Lunch Special #2 (Beef Enchilada, Taco, and Spanish rice -- $4.95), so you often need two flushes, negating the enviromental benefits.

2 flush types + bidet seems to solve a lot of those problems!

how about a warm blow dryer down there, too?

how about just a trough in the shower.

Back when toilets were invented, 'soil' toilets were nearly adopted as standard where bacteria in soil were used to break down the waste

1) uses lots of water
2) cold
3) causes anti-social smells
4) clogs too easily
5) ineffective ass cleaning with tp (or sprays)
6) wastes paper

These are all plusses when you're drunk.

Ineffective ass cleaning can be considered a plus? Ever?

Are you drunk or something?

I need a toilet with a noise supressor.

To clean the 'arse the norm is a short shower tube, hanging in the wall by the side of the toilet. Toilet paper can optionally be used to dry afterwards.

It is possible the US now has toilets with two different flushes for solid and liquid waste. That fits in with the American way of life:
a) It is an expensive over-engineered solution that makes you give up even more of your hard-earned income to big business (as opposed to a plastic jug by a tap, or the aforementioned tube for liquid waste)
b)  It assuages the conscience by scratching at a minor problem, whilst the same businesses waste five times the water by installing power showers, and using electric pumps to increase water pressure.

I want a urinal in my bathroom. Apparently they're gaining traction for home use.