Women and dresses, on a date
Cross-post because the other board is too inbred. hehe. I'll get more responses here, hopefully.
If you meet a woman at a steakhouse on a first date and she is wearing jeans. Do you feel a bit like she is the one wearing the b@lls from the git-go? Even if she isn't really, I'm kidding, but I want to know how it makes you *feel* (a lot of women do this on a first date, and also have somewhat of an attitude to go with it - surprise).
Do you really like a woman wearing jeans on a first date? Do you like that she's shopping for the right d*ck, personality whatever, and doesn't need a provider?
I think if f*cking sucks big donkey b@lls. Progress, not in my book. Call me a mysogenist, I don't care.
I think women in their 20's want the provider, women in their 30's want the salami, or something else who knows. By the time they reach mid/late 30's, a lot of them have skimmed enough bread off whichever prior men, IMHO.
My friend, the people here are just as sleepy as your friends on some other board.
April 1st, 2007 5:38am
Is it really an important issue?
I'm early 20's and everytime i've been on a first date with a girl usually they are wearing some form of trousers. Dresses don't really fly, mini skirts do ?
Its a first date so why do you care? Stop reading into things...
what are you reading for?
April 1st, 2007 6:11am
Some guys love women in jeans on first dates. How is the girl supposed to know which type of guy you are, a jeans lover or a dress lover?
If you want a certain atmosphere on the date, better to discuss it ahead of time. No woman has ESP and will know exactly what turns you on and off.
If she shows up decently dressed and groomed, then she's passed the "made an effort" test. If the date goes well, you can begin to let her in on your preferences for future dates.
I don't know ... perhaps you've become so frustrated with the dating scene that you're looking for nitpicky reasons to reject these women.
Life is not a Seinfield episode.
April 1st, 2007 7:30am
> Do you really like a woman wearing jeans on a first date?
Like she should worry what kind of you clothes you want her to wear. What an ego.
son of parnas
April 1st, 2007 9:28am
I'm not sure what you're really asking.
I do think that early in the relationship people are on their best behavior and it only goes down from there.
So if she has bad breath, messy hair, no makeup and poorly fitting clothes for a date at a decent place (not the beach or a pool hall), you shouldn't expect much more after that, she's just sloppy and doesn't care what you think.
April 1st, 2007 9:53am
If you want her to wear a dress, invite her to the theater not a steakhouse. It has nothing to do with who wears the pants in the relationship, or whatever. The whole 'by her mid-30's, she should have grabbed enough of other men's money' thought seems less misogynist than just plain counterproductive.
When I think of steakhouse and dresses, I think of square dancing to follow.
April 1st, 2007 10:03am
dipshit. If all you are bothered about is what she is wearing, you not gonna get any anyhow.
Maybe you should send her a copy of your seduction procedure in advance, and ask her to sign that she has read, understood, and abides.
April 1st, 2007 11:14am
>> If you meet a woman at a steakhouse on a first date and she is wearing jeans. <<
I would think that she knew how to dress for the surroundings, and wouldn't read anything more into it.
Steakhouse: jeans & t-shirt.
Café d'argent: fancy dress.
April 1st, 2007 11:44am
Some great replies. I think that spans the range.
I've gotta say though that, regarding the last poster, if all I wanted to do was get laid, according to your theory, then why would *anything* on the date have mattered? She doesn't even drink. Heck, I could probably pick up someone at a nightclub if I were into doing the one-night stand thing. Why even bother finding out too much beforehand? Just enjoy the fantasy.
I know, there are like a million of these B.S. chain restaurants. I don't even know where the fancy ones are anymore, and even told her I had blown it on picking the restaurant.
Well, I wanted to go to Red Lobster, but probably wouldn't have made an iota of difference. I should have known better when she mentioned which restaurants were there (it's closer to where she lives).
I would want to agree that first dates don't really matter, except that they do because on average there isn't a second date, and that's usually the woman's decision anyhow, not to have a second date.
were they $300 jeans at least?
There's nothing sweeter than pealing off a pair of sevens of a hot ass.
April 1st, 2007 12:33pm
"that's usually the woman's decision anyhow, not to have a second date."
You're generalizing. I'm sure there are also many women who've been repeatedly and mysteriously dumped by guy after guy after the first date.
If only we could get honest feedback after failed dates so we could learn what, if anything, we were doing wrong. No one is ever honest about that.
April 1st, 2007 12:33pm
> mysteriously dumped by guy
Stop wearing jeans on first dates, gals!
Seriously. It's trashy and disrespectful. It's like a guy ordering boxed wine at dinner ("Garcon, une litre de French Rabbit, s'il vous plait.").
April 1st, 2007 12:39pm
I wrote her a really long email last night, and since she stays up late, I figure she read it. I mentioned that I like a dress, that I couldn't figure out if she only wanted a guy who was a lifer in uniform or what. So, she got a complete earful of feedback, even my take on Patriotism and Iraq - which was really huge to her, and I can't understate this.
1) meeting at a restaurant for a first date is a bad idea to start with, it sets up the wrong frame from the start.
2) If you like dresses and don't like jeans, tell her before hand - in the absence of you saying anything she wore what she felt was suitable for the venue
I always make it completely clear that I expect them to make an effort but some women are simply self conscious about showing their legs, if you discuss it beforehand, you won't get any nasty surprises.
April 1st, 2007 1:46pm
"I wrote her a really long email last night, and since she stays up late, I figure she read it. ... she got a complete earful of feedback, even my take on Patriotism and Iraq"
<sarcasm>Oh yes, this is always the best thing to do after the first date, compile that laundry list before things get out of hand. Smart thinking, mate!</sarcasm>
April 1st, 2007 3:22pm
April 1st, 2007 3:38pm
"<sarcasm>Oh yes, this is always the best thing to do after the first date, compile that laundry list before things get out of hand. Smart thinking, mate!</sarcasm>"
Funny, but you are right about that, bad idea.
April 1st, 2007 4:14pm
April 1st, 2007 4:42pm
+1 to peeling a pair of $300 jeans off a gym-worked body.
Red Lobster? LoB? What is wrong with you... Red Lobster?
April 1st, 2007 6:38pm
If a girl wore a dress to Red Lobster I would leave as soon as I saw her. WHO THE FUCK WEARS A DRESS TO A CHAIN STORE?!?!
April 1st, 2007 6:46pm
April 1st, 2007 7:09pm
Use yelp to find some decent non-chain, I-care-enough-about-our-date-to-find-a-restaurant-with-some-character place. It doesn't have to be super fancy, but it needs to be better than where she would go out on her own for dinner.
Where you at again?
April 1st, 2007 8:05pm
Isn't jeans sort of a normal thing to wear? In India there was a big controversy because women were wearing jeans to college and the guys said that it was too distracting and it should be school policy for girls to wear more modest clothes. The girls retorted that it's dangerous to wear skirts and salwar kameezes while riding bicycles and it's not the girls' fault if the guys can't focus on their studies.
the great purple
April 1st, 2007 9:23pm
"Isn't jeans sort of a normal thing to wear? "
Yes. At least in Hawaii it is. The mainland has lots of uptight people.
April 2nd, 2007 2:24am
People in hawaii wear something as heavy as denim?
April 2nd, 2007 2:38am
Dude, it is not about the jeans.
It is about looking presentable.
Some women look awesome in anything. Jeans, shorts, dresses etc.
Others look horrible in anything.
I have personal deal breakers ... 3 quarter length trousers on women. They weren't fashionable the first time around. They are still not fashionable. In my eyes, no woman looks good in them.
But that's just me.
I do not expect a girl to dress up for the first date.
My last first date was straight after work, so we were both in suits ... go figure.
The next time we went out to a really swanky restaurant in Mayfair ... the type that brings out the various cuts of meat for you to pick before it is cooked. It was on a weekend, and I was wearing jeans and a shirt. Why? Cause I wear jeans and shirts on the weekends. Smart jeans yes, but still jeans. I think she was wearing jeans too. Oh yeah, she paid.
Very few people dress up for dinner any more, even in posh restaurants. The theatre?? A nice dark suit with a white shirt. Tie optional.
A formal ball? Bring out the penguin suit and the frocks for the ladies.
I prefer oversized trenchcoats, and showing up at the door with a hotpocket and three other good reasons to skip dinner altogether.
April 2nd, 2007 2:50pm