Sanding our assholes with 150 grit. Slowly. Lovingly.

drunkenbastardman on suicide bombers

http://www.drunkenbastardman.co.za/horror/28boobies.html

"...But religion's Holy Texts have always just been a matter of convenience and interpreted in such a way (by those who claim to be allowed to do this) as to benefit themselves. The Catholic Church is simply the oldest political party in the world and should be viewed with as much mistrust. Similarly, how does a religion get so out of whack that its followers are blowing themselves up for the promise of seventy-two virgins in the Afterlife? It's not the suicide bombings that I have a problem with, but ... have you ever had sex with a virgin? These religious zealots obviously never have. Imagine an Eternity dealing with seventy-two overly emotional, frigid teens crying in your bed ... cajoling inexperienced little girls into believing they're special and that you will be with them forever every time you want to shag. Never mind one needy little bitch who still wears a matching paisley pyjama set and whimpers like an abused puppy when you anally penetrate her without warning, but almost one hundred of the skanks? I can't see myself wanting to strap explosives to myself and wander into the American Embassy in Chad for that. Now seventy-two Victoria's Secret models I would perhaps consider, but only if one of those retards knows how to make a decent martini."

*chortle*
Permalink Bluebeard 
April 3rd, 2007 5:24am
I wonder if most of the suicide bombers are virgins themselves.  Thus subject to the normal 'romantic' illusion that female virgins will turn into tigers in the sack as soon as they are turned on the first time.

In which case, the sooner we get all those male virgins laid, and get some of those illusions shattered, the better.  Sadly, any move in that direction would be seen as more Western 'sexual corruption', which is why they're suicide bombers in the first place.  Well, that and the oil.
Permalink SaveTheHubble 
April 3rd, 2007 11:32am
Oil prices would go down if those boys stopped using oil and started using more lubricant.
Permalink blahty heartsheep 
April 3rd, 2007 12:11pm
LOL!  I think this guy may be wSV in another guise:

<quote>
People I Hate, Part II

Vacuous models and celebrities

First of all, I have nothing against 15-year olds wearing sheer clothes in public, but I really do not need to hear them speak. The problem is that, for some unfathomable reason, people who are famous get the misconception that we care about what they think. Suddenly, because they've made a few movies or a mediocre CD, or shown their titties to fashion dykes on a runway in Belgium, their ridiculous and laughable opinions on life are supposed to matter? How did an inflated bank balance and matching ego suddenly make them more knowledgeable and more insightful than the clueless, brain-damaged intellectual equivalent of curry diarrhoea they were before? Yet microphones are shoved into their faces, soundbites from their pathetic, self-absorbed and ignorant chatter are broadcast over the world. As if we should give a shit. Fuck off Angelina Jolie, I don't need to know your opinions on refugees. If I want to know something about injecting my lips with fat and keeping my own blood in a vial, you'll be first on my list. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. Why the hell do they interview these women? Idiots who got famous for looking cute in a bra suddenly start thinking they got there because of their wit, intellect and perseverance. It should not be allowed to happen. Twits who get somewhere because of their nosejobs should never be allowed to forget it — hey, if you wanna live by the sword... Shut the fuck up, Keira Knightly, take your kit off and keep your dumbass mouth shut. You have nothing to say, you are a braindead piece of eye candy, we don't care about your opinions on anything. When it comes time to pop out your little titties and pout, we'll let you know. Until then.... here's a crayon, bitch. You gotta keep reminding pretty people why they're famous, otherwise they start thinking it's because they matter.
Permalink Send private email Ward 
April 3rd, 2007 1:48pm

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