I'm so stoned I actually have the shakes .. whoa! I hope to God I don't get called to some meeting. I'm hiding in my cubicle w/headphones. WIOOPP!!

To: All
From: PHB
Subject: Random drug testing

Staff are reminded that today we start our random drug testing policy and should cooperate as required.

Anybody got any clean pee I can borrow for awhile?

I wouldn't worry about a meeting, what with that giant freaking penguin staring at you from across the office.

Has he been following you all morning? You need to put a stop to that!

Have a word with bubbles in cubical 271.

Jesus was hung on the cross so that you could have good ganja.

"Hey Bubbble Bubble Pop -- Quick question about this recursive algorithm you wrote the other day.  Why did you name it Ganja, when it deals with finding last month's invoices that haven't cleared yet?"

"Uhhhh, whaaa?  You got any chips?"

Oh, that's an acronym.

Generation Algorithm for Non-Judicious Authoritah

They make you work on Good Friday?

People who go to work stoned suck. I went all through high school stoned but I like my job and do it because I like my work.

"People who don't use drugs the way *I* use drugs are jerks."

Fixed that for you.

People who go to school stoned suck. I was trying to LEARN damnit, and you distracted me.

Now as a result I have this crappy job I hate and all I can do is get high to ease the mental anguish

Whew. I'm ok now after having had some lunch. This was some new stuff I got last night. I didn't realize how strong it was. I was so bad this morning that I would open up the browser and then forget what site I was going to. I opened VS and just stared at it for awhile tripping out on the tunes in the radio.

I'll be trying new stashes the night before from now on.

So where do you get this stuff.  you have pothead programmer friends.

Oh, MAN!  If YOU can see that Penguin too, then he must really be there.

And he's starting to tap one of his feet in impatience, too.

Bot Berlin,

You must already be smoking stronger stuff than I ever had if you think I'm posting info on my contacts here on this e-biz board

It must be some of our fine Vancouver Grop-Op Hydroponic.