Sanding our assholes with 150 grit.

Why so many beautiful women are single?

Many women, good looking are single.
Ugly women get married. Have 2.4 kids.

Many (not all) 'class queens', ex-models, the hottest girls in high-school are single.

Can any one suggest an explanation?


btw, a friend of mine (a girl) was very hot in school.
she could have any boy/men she just laid her eyes on (they would lay their eyes on her first). now in her 30's she is single, alone. even now she looks much better than many 20 year olds.
Permalink Craig 
April 29th, 2007 8:21am
Beautiful women grow up surrounded by men behaving strangely. They get used to being able to make unreasonable demands and getting what they want without much effort. This is not conducive to being able to 'settle down' to having 'normal' lives.
Permalink Billx 
April 29th, 2007 8:26am
Maybe it's because many of the married ones used to be beautiful.

Having kids is hard on your body.

And once you have got your partner, the incentive to maintain standards is reduced.  It isn't sexist to say this - as the same applies to men.
Permalink  
April 29th, 2007 8:46am
Depends, most of the dumb beauts seem to link off but the ones with brains tend to be single (in my expereince anyway)

maybe they want to do other things? become whole before settling down and startng a family so the usual power struggles and realationship BS pulls them down.

Things are alot different for 20 somethings these days
Permalink what are you reading for? 
April 29th, 2007 9:05am
1. No matter how beautiful someone is, you get tired of their shit. Male or female.
2. When you are beautiful (no personal experience, but friends) everything is about you. Who wants to team up with that sort of person?
Permalink son of parnas 
April 29th, 2007 10:51am
"Having kids is hard on your body."

1 - Yes, this happens.

2 - Don't forget that many ugly women are single. They are just stuck at work doing a crap job, or you don't notice them.

3 - Single women available make themselves look pretty. You should see them in the morning after a night clubbing.
Permalink Practical Economist 
April 29th, 2007 11:56am
"the ones with brains tend to be single"

This has been studied. The findings are that women prefer to marry up in IQ, but men will marry regardless of IQ.

Therefore, men have many women to choose from, but women limit their choices to a small pool. The smarter the women, the smaller the pool. The smartest ones will also tend to add lots of conditions as well "He must be a surgeon who is published in particle physics, under 40, looks like Pierce Brosnan, has at least 7 screen credits for speaking parts, and makes more than 10 million."
Permalink Practical Economist 
April 29th, 2007 12:00pm
There's another set of studies that shows that smart women do not maintain sexual interest and arousal long term unless the man can intellectually dominate her. This ends up making relationships with such women exhausting and contentious. There are better deals out there for men, and hotter ones as well. Best to stay away from high IQ women if you are smart. Smart men have learned this.
Permalink Practical Economist 
April 29th, 2007 12:03pm
I've always figured it was because women who are smart and pretty get a double-whammy:
- The guys who usually date women for looks don't like the challenge of dealing with an intellectual date
- The guys who enjoy a smart girl's company are intimidated by her looks and don't ask her out
Permalink Send private email Philo 
April 29th, 2007 12:05pm
There may also be a lawnmower handle problem here - there are all kinds of people who are single in their 30's for all kinds of reasons. But nobody asks why an average looking guy in his 30's is single.
Permalink Send private email Philo 
April 29th, 2007 12:06pm
Not so pretty women are more conscious of their shelf life.

Pretty women are still holding out for a better deal.

Not too complicated.
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 12:10pm
Rhetorical question:  are smart, ugly women actually better off than smart, beautiful women?

... IMO, the women who end up single in their 30s and 40s are usually way too picky.  They could have married one of the guys along the way, but either rejected him for stupid superficial reasons, or they wasted their prime hookup years (20s) on a jerk who wouldn't commit.
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
April 29th, 2007 12:11pm
Smart women know how to play dumb.
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 12:16pm
Smart women who have self-respect won't play dumb.  Nor should they, just to land a guy.

If guys can't handle a little babelicious brain power, forget 'em.
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
April 29th, 2007 12:18pm
Yes they do.
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 12:20pm
Colm, why do you want a dumb woman, or one who pretends to be?
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
April 29th, 2007 12:21pm
I don't.
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 12:22pm
Ok, I misunderstood your statement.  It did seem out of character, since you don't suffer fools gladly as a rule.

So what does "yes they do" pertain to?
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
April 29th, 2007 12:25pm
I've lost count of the number of attractive women I've met who purposefully play dumb. They exist alright.

For the record, I'd prefer a girl who is smarter and richer than me.
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 12:28pm
I never said that beautiful women who play dumb they didn't exist.  I just have no respect for them.  Genuinely dumb people are annoying enough, but at least they can't help it, so you have to give them a break.  But to choose to dumb it down?  First, the guy is going to figure it out sooner or later, and do you really want a guy who prefers a woman who acts dumb?  What kind of an a-hole is he?
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
April 29th, 2007 12:31pm
Typo:  "I never said that beautiful women who play dumb they didn't exist" should read "I never said that beautiful women who play dumb DON'T exist."
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
April 29th, 2007 12:32pm
Dana's explanation is the gist of it. Regardless of IQ or looks level, most spinsters are those who were just too picky over one thing or another.
Permalink Practical Economist 
April 29th, 2007 12:34pm
You said that none of them have self respect. I don't believe that.

I think women seek a number of attributes in their preferred mate - I don't believe that "a preference for smart women" is one of them however, and women are extremely willing to adapt themselves to what men 'want' them to be.

Of course, they get it very wrong a lot of the time :)
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 12:34pm
I met a lot of girls like this at Cambridge.

Some of them don't necessarily act like dumb blondes (although a LOT do), they just go out of their way to avoid talking about anything intellectual with men they might be interested in because they're afraid of putting them off.

I think it's a shame, but they're probably right. Most men dislike girls who are smarter than them.
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 12:40pm
I've never found that pretending to be someone I'm not is any more likely to land me a mate than being just exactly who I am.

However, I have been guilty in the past of deluding myself into thinking that certain aspects of the other person wouldn't bother me, knowing full well that eventually they would become unbearable once the infatuation wore off.

This is probably why we all become so picky as we get older - we just don't want to compromise on anything.

Those who end up in successful long term relationships are obviously more able to let a lot of things roll off their backs.  After all, no mate is perfect.  You're going to have to put up with stuff.
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
April 29th, 2007 12:40pm
Why DO some men dislike women who are smarter than they?  Is it really that threatening?  Aren't they bored by women who can't hold up their end of the conversation?
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
April 29th, 2007 12:41pm
> Aren't they bored by women who can't hold up their end of the conversation?

They don't look to a woman for conversation. A women is a hole for screwing, producing children, and cooking and cleaning. Guys are for conversation. This is why the greeks were gay.
Permalink son of parnas 
April 29th, 2007 12:47pm
I guess it must be threatening. I do like it when girls play dumb just for me though. It's a tacit admission that they like me :)

Plenty of people also turn into gibbering idiots when they meet somebody they really like. I think we've all been guilty of *that*.
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 12:49pm
Well, it's a good thing that not all men are like that.  Some enjoy the challenge of an intelligent woman (and the fun of sleeping with her).

:-)
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
April 29th, 2007 12:49pm
Why so bitter, son of parnas? ;-)
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 12:49pm
"A women is a hole for screwing, producing children, and cooking and cleaning. Guys are for conversation."

You know, for as many guys like is as there are, there are plenty who don't see women this way.  Just like for all the women who play dumb, there are many who won't.

So you can't generalize.  But yes, I suppose there are people like this.  One must just detect and avoid them.
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
April 29th, 2007 12:54pm
> Why so bitter, son of parnas?

Why do you think I am bitter? The sun will explore in 3 billion years. I am not bitter about it. Things are as they are.

> You know, for as many guys like is as there are, there are plenty who don't see women this way

Yes there are.

> So you can't generalize

Then you can't say anything unless you want to only talk about a specific person a specific situation at one specific point in time. Not very interesting.
Permalink son of parnas 
April 29th, 2007 12:58pm
>Why do you think I am bitter?

Because you are affectedly cynical.
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 1:02pm
> I am not bitter about it. Things are as they are.

Sounds bitter to me. You've sounded bitter to quite a few of us for a while now.
Permalink Send private email Impractical Economist 
April 29th, 2007 1:07pm
>> Guys are for conversation. This is why the greeks were gay.

That makes sense, how?

One could say the Greeks had three niches of relating (besides slavery) ... adult men for conversing, young men/boys for screwing and women for procreating/taking care of children. But then Greeks weren't gay in the way we use the word today.
Permalink strawberry beeswax 
April 29th, 2007 1:08pm
My theory is that it was the only means of contraception available to them. They could screw boys left right and centre without recourse, but women have this tendency to get pregnant.
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 1:12pm
> Sounds bitter to me.

Then it sounds like the bitterness is in you.

> You've sounded bitter to quite a few of us for a while now.

You just to consider my entire body of work.

> That makes sense, how?

Culture was with guys. Women in Greece were basically prisoners. Politics was for guys, they talked with guys, they had close personal relationships with guys.
Permalink son of parnas 
April 29th, 2007 1:13pm
AMerrickanGirl, I know some women who are not so good looking but in layman terms are 'difficult' or just plain picky.
Permalink Craig 
April 29th, 2007 1:17pm
I don't think of Son of Parnas as bitter so much as paranoid.  All we know is that "she" (assuming she is a she) posts here.  We don't know where she lives, whether she's single or not (I'm assuming probably), or in what age group she falls.

Many of the serious posters here, without abandoning their anonymity, do manage to bring a bit of personality here by submitting a few personal details, which IMO makes for a better forum.
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
April 29th, 2007 1:18pm
Well, SoP you were saying that men would like to screw no matter what (wasn't this a previous thread?), and giving ancient Greece as an example.

There wasn't any contraception in China or Japan either in the 5th century BC. Were Japanese and Chinese gay too?

Or why is gayness today so much different than that in ancient Greece (presumably gay men talk to each other more today).

(But yeah, I don't disagree that gayness could be nature's way (one of) to control population. In which case, richer countries would have higher rates of gayness. Including ancient Greece, Rome, India, Britain, US at the height of their respective empires.)
Permalink strawberry beeswax 
April 29th, 2007 1:21pm
Here are the two sides of the debate:

http://www.amazon.com/Creating-Life-Professional-Women-Children/dp/0786867663/

This summarizes research and census data showing that educated and professional women are much less likely to get married or have children than other women.

This book was written as a response to the other:

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Smart-Men-Marry-Women/dp/0743290399/

It claims the opposite, but relies on surveys of people as to what they think should happen rather than on actual census data.
Permalink Practical Economist 
April 29th, 2007 1:57pm
First seven words of that book:

"In Her 2005 book, Are men necessary?..."

Yeah, I stopped reading around about there.
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 2:08pm
Oh my. If you finished that first paragraph, you'd see that that is a book by a different author, one that she is debunking.
Permalink Practical Economist 
April 29th, 2007 2:55pm
Educated, professional women need to give up their Prince Charming dreams and stop looking for someone who is richer, more accomplished than they are. Men likewise should swallow their egos and realize that if their wife has 3x lifetime earning potential than they do, it's best for the partnership to enable her to fulfill it.
Permalink strawberry beeswax 
April 29th, 2007 3:18pm
"Why so many beautiful women are single?"

I don't know that this is disproportionately true, but a job for a woman (IMHO) often gets in the way of the old-school family life.  No you have two people living like "men/head of household", good job, etc.
Permalink Send private email LinuxOrBust 
April 29th, 2007 3:29pm
> Or why is gayness today so much different than that in ancient Greece

Ancient Greece cultivated a culture of beauty and excellence that our society doesn't share. Given the male sex drive and this relationship and their position on women, having sex and relationships with men was very sensible.

I don't know if that makes them gay in the genetic sense, much like men who give rather than receive don't consider themselves gay. Since the relationships were mostly with younger males this power relationship remains and they may not have considered themselves gay. I don't know. It would be interesting to know.
Permalink son of parnas 
April 29th, 2007 5:35pm
Right, but then giving 'ancient Greece' as an example of a society where men just wanted to screw seems counterproductive. Unless just screwing is itself a high aesthetic form or men weren't responsible for the Greek culture.
Permalink strawberry beeswax 
April 29th, 2007 6:05pm
> where men just wanted to screw

Where did that come from?
Permalink son of parnas 
April 29th, 2007 6:09pm
Heh. Obviously there is not a single beautiful woman on this forum.

The hate for beautiful women who happen to be smart, as evidenced in this thread, is obnoxious and ubiquitous.

Why would anyone who is beautiful, who has choices, as a result, settle down?  How boring.  Marriage is just not that big a deal.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
April 29th, 2007 8:38pm
>The hate for beautiful women who happen to be smart, as
>evidenced in this thread, is obnoxious and ubiquitous.

Fortunately you'll never have to worry about being on the receiving end of that hatred from us.

We love you just the way you are ;-)
Permalink Colm 
April 29th, 2007 8:44pm

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