"While other candidates are tying themselves into squishy rhetorical pretzels about the Iraq war and what they really thought about it in 2002, [Senator John] McCain is the long stick of French bread, stiff with age and greening with mould."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6293994.stm

Gotta love the writing. We need more of these flamboyant and  overstretched metaphors to make reading fun again.

> We need more of these flamboyant and 
> overstretched metaphors to make reading fun again.

Can we redo this with more of an homage to your link?

Perhaps:

Metaphors should be lovingly stretched beyong snapping, like they are being tortured on the wrack to confess their secret compact with the devil.