So I've been getting into it lately... Had to pick up some humor for the course.
This nun comes into confession one day and tells the father, 'I sinned yesterday, father. I said a curse word.'
The father says, 'Go on, child. How did this happen?'
'Well, father, I went to play golf yesterday and on the very first hole I hit what would have been a wonderful drive. It probably would've gone over 250 yards had it not clipped an overhanging power line and fallen straight to the ground.'
'Oh, I see', said the father. 'Was this when you cursed?'
'No, father. Right after that happened a little squirrel ran out, grabbed my ball and scurried towards the woods with it...'
The father interrupted, 'Well, I can certainly understand why that could upset you.'
'Well, father, it wasn't this even. An eagle swooped down and grabbed the squirrel just before it made the woods.'
The father, now more amazed with the story says, 'Ahhh, well that is quite a story to get excited about. So this is what caused you to curse?'
'No father. You see, just as the eagle was crossing over the green, a bolt of lightning struck it down. It dropped the squirrel, the squirrel dropped my ball, and the ball landed two feet from the hole!'
The father nodded... 'You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?'