Parents, leave those kids alone
- Leave those kids alone
The idea that adults should be playing with their kids is a modern invention -- and not necessarily a good one
"Adults think it is silly to play with children" in most cultures, says Lancy, who teaches at Utah State University. Play is a cultural universal, he concedes, "but adults aren't part of the picture." Yet middle-class and upper-middle-class Americans -- abetted, he says, by psychologists -- are increasingly proclaiming the parents-on-all-fours style the One True Way to raise a smart, well-adjusted child.
This pairs well with the previous post on how young mail relationships have changed. It's interesting what we take for granted was unheard of just a few years ago.
son of parnas
July 24th, 2007 3:37pm
The problem these days is that kids are so isolated from each other that playing with them becomes more of a necessity.
Parents don't play with their kids if their kids are always out playing with other kids.
July 24th, 2007 3:39pm
Repost dildo - I think, I can't think of any search terms to find an earlier reference to this.
Yeah, when I was a kid, there were 4 of us, we lived in a house, there were a few kids my age w/in a couple blocks walk, and we all played with each other. I have only one kid myself and we live in an apartment. There aren't any other kids on the same floor, and none of our friends with kids live nearby. We go to visit as often as possible, but still...
Part of the reason for putting our daughter in pre-school as early as possible was so that she'd meet and get to play with other kids. We go to the park as much as possible, but those are casual meetings, it's hard for her to make friends like that.
So, inevitably, we end up playing with her a lot.
July 24th, 2007 3:44pm
One of the reasons we had our second son was to provide a playmate for the first one, since he was driving us crazy.
When his little brother started pissing him off, Number One complained, "Why did you have him for, anyway?"
"So you'd have someone to play with."
"Why didn't you just play with me??" Heh.
They're now the best of friends, thank god.
July 24th, 2007 3:47pm
July 24th, 2007 3:48pm
My parents played with me when I was a kid, and I turned out...hrm...
Maybe there's something to this...
July 24th, 2007 3:52pm
My parents never, ever played with us. Then again, there were three of us and a neighborhood full of kids, so why should they have?
(they probably wouldn't have anyway, but we'll never really know).
July 24th, 2007 4:05pm
My father HATED to lose at anything, including card games, and he was terrible at sports, so no, he didn't play with us.
My mother, on the other hand, would play "double Solitaire" (actually, "double Klondike") with us, as well as board games.
On the other, other hand, we're all posting on CoT, so probably we're not a representative sample of America.
July 24th, 2007 4:19pm
"My parents played with me when I was a kid, and I turned out...hrm...
Maybe there's something to this..."
Nah, you turned out ok. :-)
July 24th, 2007 4:29pm
my da didn't play with me very much after he started his restaurant (i think i was 3ish). i think i've always resented that. it seemed like he could have taught me a lot as he is athletic, very smart and is an extremely hard worker.
come to think of it, i didn't play much with mom, either. i never resented it as much, though (most moms just aren't that fun to play with).
i had a huge playing area, though. i often rode my bike as far as my courage would take me.
July 24th, 2007 5:03pm
My father never played with me, nor tried to teach me things. He did take me on a camping trip on three occasions though. Mom would take me places, like to the park or such. But neither would get down on the floor and play with toys or games. Parents played cards sometimes, but not with me.
So I guess it could be true that parents playing with kids as in 'vroom vroom, the car goes vroom!' is a pretty recent phenomenon and we don't know yet if it damages the kids. It probably does since it's never been done before in history - the tribes that did that have now all died out.
July 24th, 2007 5:38pm
My parents never played with me.
I had friends, a few neighbours, cousins who would come round for weekends ...
Either that, or it was out playing on the farm by myself.
I've played with my kids a lot. Not as a "I must play with the children as it is the proper thing to do" but more of a "Hey, cool legos" type thing.
Mind you, "a lot" is relative. Definitely not on the "hours per week" scale, but often enough.
July 25th, 2007 1:42pm