Nobody likes to be called a dummy by a dummy.

"It's just business"

An asshole at my current decided to discuss a detail with ou boss that would better have been discussed off-line.

When I called him out on it (after the meeting, but before I told him to "Fuck off", he mentioned that "it's just business"). 

True, that.

During same meeting, I was kiddingly told I'm a "pushover".  Not sure why exactly since my nature maintains relationships with clients well.

I think I need to revamp that part of my personality or get out of corporate life.  I'm so annoyed I could give my notice right now.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 25th, 2007 2:44pm
I put a reminder on my wall.  The sign is

"It's Just Business  --<insert the asshole's name here>"

So next time I won't fucking forget.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 25th, 2007 2:45pm
Just got a headhunter call to my direct work phone.  I never get those.

I think I'm being "fired".  They just hired someone to start next week, I got bamboozled into a work thing I have fought against since I've been here, and I'm easily manipulated.

All those things together:  they want me to quit.

Maybe it is time to have that talk with my boss.  Not sure what to say, because honesty is never really advised in these situations.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 25th, 2007 2:52pm
>>> Not sure what to say,

"Are you getting ready to dump me, asshole?"
Permalink Send private email Ward 
July 25th, 2007 2:56pm
"Oh, bendover and take this purple thing like a man, you sissy!"
Permalink Send private email JoC 
July 25th, 2007 3:00pm
"Come closer to my chest, you ugly lech, so I can finally burn your face off!"
Permalink Send private email Ward 
July 25th, 2007 3:03pm
"Hey will you look at this mole between my breasts? You think that could be melanoma?" <Fwwwwwooooooosssshhhhh>
Permalink Send private email JoC 
July 25th, 2007 3:07pm
<sizzle> <sizzle>
Permalink Send private email JoC 
July 25th, 2007 3:08pm
While I appreciate the levity, I am feeling a little overwrought.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 25th, 2007 3:10pm
Me too.
Permalink Send private email JoC 
July 25th, 2007 3:11pm
If they're maneuvering to replace you, you're probably screwed.  If they've brought in someone new who can do what you're doing now, and they're getting you to do something different, then the last piece of the puzzle would be whether then new work they want you to do is valuable to the company.  If so, that sounds like screwed to me...  So the logical thing would be to ask the boss just how valuable the new task is.
Permalink Send private email Ward 
July 25th, 2007 3:13pm
> All those things together:  they want me to quit.

Perhaps. But usually a simple lack of sincerity and compassion is enough to explain things. It's unlikely they care enough to be so devious. The may just be really insensitive.
Permalink son of parnas 
July 25th, 2007 3:13pm
Apathetic ignorance?

You could be paranoid and delusional and imagining things that just aren't. I think you lean too much on the smart side of crazy for that, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately... or maybe just is is is.
Permalink Send private email JoC 
July 25th, 2007 3:16pm
don't do or say anything rash, in-the-heat-of-the-moment-style.

If they are planning your exit, it will make it easier for them. If they are not, an outburst may encourage them to devise such a plan.

There's probably all sorts of things Sun Tzu could bring to the table here. I'm gonna read that art of war thing for my next corporate gig.
Permalink Send private email arg! 
July 25th, 2007 3:26pm
I'm thinking about taking a vacation--unpaid so I can take two solid weeks.

That's the only way I'll get it, I'm guessing. 

That puts a wrench in the asshole's ass because he relies on me for things. 

I take on average, one day off every month.  So that pisses everyone off, so I get this kind of stabbing in the back.

It is times like this when I just want to be alone.  There is nothing anyone can say that will make asshole taste less like asshole.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 25th, 2007 3:31pm
JoC, that sentence had to be re-read three times before I got it LOL.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 25th, 2007 3:32pm
Twice I've been in situations where I was *positive* I was being lined up to be fired. Both times I was completely wrong.

The times I have been fired or let go, they were completely out of the blue while I had plenty of work.

I think firing is generally an impulse thing - it's fairly rare that a company is forward-thinking enough to "put things in motion." When a termination is personality based (like "she rubs us the wrong way") then it's even more impulsive.

Bottom line - don't worry that they're going to fire you; they probably aren't. However, it NEVER hurts to have your options open, so start looking anyway. (You never know when you might stumble over something far better anyway - "Small startup run by SF refugees seeks flexible idea person to work on open source accounting package...")
Permalink Send private email Philo 
July 25th, 2007 10:11pm
thanks Philo.

Sigh.  Big Sigh.

Looking back on the day, I'm thinking the boss is just trying to balance egos and mine was the victim.  I find it hard to believe people don't know how to make someone they know as well as they know me feel comfortable with changes.  How could the asshole feel it was okay not to talk to me first.

Jealousies and coincidence pile up.  He has way too much power for my taste, and that would send me out looking.

Thing is, I won't be looking.  I sincerely SINCERELY don't want a job.  There is not a single greener pasture that I can see.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 25th, 2007 10:22pm
"The times I have been fired or let go, they were completely out of the blue while I had plenty of work."

True dat. In not too distant memory, the events went like this, all within the space of a few weeks: "here are some discretionary share options to encourage you to stay with the company"; "you're being put forward for a promotion"; "go represent the company at this trade show"; "you're being let go, sorry".

Lesson here: if things seem bad, they're probably good. If things seem good, have your parachute ready.
Permalink Send private email bon vivant 
July 25th, 2007 10:58pm
Well, I wonder if I'm going to be interviewed behind a closed door tomorrow for telling the lead sales guy (the asshole), very loudly, to FUCK OFF!
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 26th, 2007 12:06am
We still love you, Shark.  :-)

Philo and Bon, you two seem surprisingly off this time in your conclusion.  You describe the symptoms precisely, but are left scratching your heads.  What happens in those situations is that they think you are below at whatever you generally do, but then they throw you to the lions to see if you are a lion-tamer (off-chance) because the lions need to be stopped anyhow.  Sure, they love you to flip-out and fire you, but in their minds it was probably a long way coming (even though they may say to you OTW and only drop hints here and there).

Shark has every right to be concerned, whether she gets fired or not.  I may only last another month at my job.  I'm the opposite, I can pretty much predict when I am going to get called in for the talk or fire down to the day (but I always have a certain healthy level of dread).  Often they will try to build a weak, informal case against you (because people feel guilty for not dropping hints).  Some people pull back, you have to know their style.
Permalink Send private email LinuxOrBust 
July 26th, 2007 12:33am
In all honesty, Shark, it does sound like something is brewing where you work.

"I take on average, one day off every month.  So that pisses everyone off, so I get this kind of stabbing in the back."

The only way that happens at my work is if you screw something up right before you go on vacation, and even then it wouldn't amount to anything but the people picking up the slack being slightly annoyed.  People taking days off where I work is almost taken for granted - we get plenty of vacation days, and I some of the more senior employees get to take a "work from home day (telecommute)" sorta thing.
Permalink Send private email LinuxOrBust 
July 26th, 2007 12:41am
Leave out the "I".  I don't get to telecommute because I'm still a newbie trying to win over my job.  It's more like after a few years of seniority.
Permalink Send private email LinuxOrBust 
July 26th, 2007 12:42am
"What happens in those situations is that they think you are below at whatever you generally do, but then they throw you to the lions to see if you are a lion-tamer"

I have nowhere near the amount of faith you do in sharky's (or most) managers. What you describe is a seriously advanced scenario that I would only expect of an exceptionally talented leader. Yeah, they show this kind of stuff on TV and movies all the time, but I'll rank it as the management equivalent of The Sting.

Hanlon's Razor times two here - it may seem malicious, but it's just general ebb and flow of people and personalities and the vagaries of random management.
Permalink Send private email Philo 
July 26th, 2007 12:49am
You're right LorB, but I still think that most of the time what really gets people out the door is under performance or incompetence. The occasional flare up or clash of personalities is a bit like a married couple having a blazing row now and then. In most of the reasonable world it shouldn't be grounds for divorce.
Permalink Send private email bon vivant 
July 26th, 2007 12:52am
"During same meeting, I was kiddingly told I'm a "pushover".  Not sure why exactly since my nature maintains relationships with clients well.

I think I need to revamp that part of my personality or get out of corporate life.  I'm so annoyed I could give my notice right now."

Wow.  I've never been in sales, but I would take that as a bad sign if they thought that was an important trait for that position, and that you don't have it. 

Pushover is not necessarily a bad trait.  What is it here or there if you are a push-over, so what, what's that supposed to mean.  It doesn't mean much at all in and of itself, but it could mean quite a bit, if it means quite a bit to them.
Permalink Send private email LinuxOrBust 
July 26th, 2007 12:59am
I didn't think sharky was in sales now.
Permalink Send private email Philo 
July 26th, 2007 1:28am
Philo, I think it's because I've worked at a number of very small tech co.'s (under 15 people in the office) where they needed everyone to be a superhero at whichever position they were designated for.

She may not be in sales, but notice how a lot of client-service positions turn into semi-sales.  For example, you can hardly buy a book at a bookstore these days w/o being offered a store member card deal, same with supermarket.  I've seen a lot of service jobs where the mgrs. get the idea, hey, while you are there sell them x,y,z and we'll give you 5-10% commission.  So now they need a tech not only good enough to get the job done, but good enough to impress the pants off of the clients.
Permalink LinuxOrBust 
July 26th, 2007 1:38am
And of course, I forget to mention the obvious, her resume has sales on it (unless she took it off - yeah, right).  So naturally, that goes on in the back of hiring personell's mind(s).
Permalink LinuxOrBust 
July 26th, 2007 1:41am
Yes, Bon, you are right too, but if they push her into new duties that make her look incompetent, then the effect becomes the same.  Been there, done that.

Like, gee, since she wasn't what we had envisioned as this, let's see if she was suddenly a super-charged x,y,z off the mark.  Nope, okay, let 'er go.  You guys honestly don't see co.'s do that?  They do it all the time.
Permalink LinuxOrBust 
July 26th, 2007 2:01am

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