Sanding our assholes with 150 grit. Slowly. Lovingly.

Impregnate 10,000 women

Phase one is knock up 10,000 women.

Sure you wouldn't have the time to directly father them all, but who needs to do that when you have the internet?  Just set up a social networking site dedicated to your family.

Odds are you'd garner an intense loyalty because of the familial/exclusive-club bond.

You could manage your armyarmy^Wchildren via IM, email and connection requests.

Beautiful.

Phase three is profit!
Permalink Michael B 
July 26th, 2007 11:38pm
Nobody wants your sperm, Michael B.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 26th, 2007 11:39pm
Great way to build up a future enterprise.  Employees that will probably work for free.

Of course, it takes 15-20 something years for them to grow up before they are productive.
Permalink Bot Berlin 
July 26th, 2007 11:40pm
That does pose an interesting sociological question - how much would child support be for 10,000+ babies from 10,000 women.
Permalink Send private email Impractical Economist 
July 26th, 2007 11:40pm
Don't think you can escape by swallowing them.  My boys have had extensive aquatic training.
Permalink Michael B 
July 26th, 2007 11:41pm
> That does pose an interesting sociological question - how much would child support be for 10,000+ babies from 10,000 women.

Well, in terms of money you'd be broke as fuck, but in terms of genetic capital you'd be the wealthiest on earth.
Permalink Michael B 
July 26th, 2007 11:42pm
actually, that is a pretty brilliant idea.  I bet it would work.

you would have to start out by paying for travel & board etc, but once youve got the ball rolling I suspect it would keep moving, like you said..everyone likes to be part of an exclusive group.

I read somewhere that all(?) most(?) of us are genetically related to a woman from the mongolian empire or somesuch...she managed to spread her genetic material that widely.

I bet someone could do something similar today with a website like that....that could actually be the kicker point, you could frame it as a social experiment designed to see how far and how fast genetic material travels over time.
Permalink worldsSmallestViolin 
July 26th, 2007 11:42pm
> I bet someone could do something similar today with a website like that....that could actually be the kicker point, you could frame it as a social experiment designed to see how far and how fast genetic material travels over time.

RELAX BABY, I'm a SCIENTIST.
Permalink Michael B 
July 26th, 2007 11:43pm
The best part would be the pyramid scheme effect.  You'd encourage your sons and daughters to reproduce just as recklessly, but even their offspring would be drawn in by the allure of your exclusive club.

You could overrun the earth in about 3 generations.
Permalink Michael B 
July 26th, 2007 11:48pm
There _is_ some german guy who's totally buff, smart, healthy, who has about 50 kids.  He donates sperm and lots of women choose to have a kid with it.  In one case, a woman had paid for whatever the usual # of doses is, but she got pregnant from the first one and sold the extras - there's a secondary market for this guy's genes.  There's something about the kids being able to find out who the father was when they turn 16 (or 18 or whatever), and at that point he's gonna have a whole ton of kids.
Permalink Send private email Ward 
July 27th, 2007 1:23am
There was a similar story in the United States, except fathers are reluctant to come forward because they're afraid that they'll be sued for child support, and companies are reluctant to produce the records because in other countries where the records have been revealed - while few fathers are getting sued for child support, donations are down quite a bit.

What's really interesting is that some kid set up a website where people can find their siblings "I was from donor 6275" "Really, me too!" and connect. It's truly bizarre and very sci-fi.
Permalink Send private email Impractical Economist 
July 27th, 2007 2:44am
And wasn't there a doctor who ran a clinic where he substituted his sperm for those that had been donated and wound up fathering hundreds of children?
Permalink Billx 
July 27th, 2007 6:23am

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