--

At the office, single people are cool

This is just my own analysis, but single people at the office are hella fun.  Married people seemed to have a lot more stuff on their mind and dont like messing aroud.
Permalink Bot Berlin 
July 27th, 2007 2:57pm
I think it is because coworkers are their only entertainment for the day.
Permalink Bot Berlin 
July 27th, 2007 2:59pm
Weren't you supposed to go away for a while? 

And come back less incoherent, hopefully.
Permalink Send private email Ward 
July 27th, 2007 3:09pm
I leave in 45 minutes.  But, test my theory.  Have a light, casual conversation with a married/deeply committed person and then have one with a single person.  Just shoot the breeze and come back with analysis.

Married/Committed = very brunt and too the point
Single = A little bit more light-hearted, can have fun with you now and again.
Permalink Bot Berlin 
July 27th, 2007 3:12pm
I guess single people are always flirting.
Permalink strawdog soubriquet 
July 27th, 2007 3:16pm
I wonder what vibe I give off.  I'm technically married - 10+ years in a committed relationship, but I lie to people or imply that I am single.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 27th, 2007 3:29pm
"I lie to people or imply that I am single."

Why?
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
July 27th, 2007 3:41pm
Because she doesnt want to go through this.

"Are you dating?"
"Yes"
"that is so sweet, what is the lucky guys name"
"Well, it isnt a he"

"I dont understand"
"Well, he is a she, I her name is..."

"Oh, uh, (cough, cough), (nervous tension), so she must be a lucky gal...gotta run, see ya"
Permalink Bot Berlin 
July 27th, 2007 3:44pm
Just come out and get it over with.  Let the chips fall.
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
July 27th, 2007 3:45pm
I've been out before.  Just didn't enjoy the games afterward.

I think people prefer to know in the sense that I don't admit it and they don't acknowledge it but we all know and they know. 

Works out better for all involved.  I don't have to talk about my private life, and they don't get to tell lesbian jokes.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 27th, 2007 4:01pm
But they can talk about their "hetro" sexist jokes?
Permalink Rick Zeng 
July 27th, 2007 4:04pm
Well, it's kinda like paying taxes.  You have to do it, it is reality, whether you like it philosophically or not.

Nobody wants to hear how I get laid by other females.  They say they do, but it bothers people.  Some think it is gross, others are turned on.  Some people are turned on and hate me for it.

I'm alone and surrounded by heteros all day who with a few exceptions, think God says it is okay to hate me.  Combine that with power, group-think, and other dynamics such as my big personality--then being gay becomes a REAL liability.

I think it is fairly obvious that I'm not straight.  You would have to be a complete idiot, working with me for a year or more, and not just know.

So I'm really out.  I just don't get to be proud. 

And the pride thing--well.  We argued about that in the Pat Tillman thread below.

People hate you more when you are proud and unabashed.

It isn't arrogance at all.  People get REALLY pissed when you live the life you want and they don't.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 27th, 2007 4:22pm
On a tangent:  I think the office single people thing vs. married has a little twinge of jealousy in it whether people want to admit it or not.  The single people don't know what it is to be married, so don't know to be jealous.  The married people remember how single life was great.

I don't understand why everyone wants everyone else to live with decisions they can't change or go back on.  Like having kids.  Like making permanent, binding, unbendable decisions is a sign of adult-hood??!?!?

I don't make those kinds of decisions, and I'm happier for it.  Makes me more carefree, I suppose.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 27th, 2007 4:25pm
I guess I've been lucky.  I've been all the way out at the last several jobs (except, ironically, this current one), and no one has given me a hard time in any way.

The only reason I'm not out here is because I started dating men again, and there simply hasn't been a reason to mention the ex-girlfriend.  It feels a little weird talking about my "boyfriend" and having my coworkers thinking I'm straight.
Permalink AMerrickanGirl 
July 27th, 2007 4:27pm
yes, single people are generally more interesting than married people up to a certain age. 

if they're 35+ and still single (never been married), then conversation can be kind of static because you start feeling sorry for the other person no matter what you talk about.
Permalink Kenny 
July 27th, 2007 5:16pm
LOL.  Some people are better single, Kenny.
Permalink Send private email sharkfish 
July 27th, 2007 5:50pm
"Like having kids.  Like making permanent, binding, unbendable decisions is a sign of adult-hood?"

Interesting point.  I think it's different choices for different people.

I think making a commitment that you stay with is a very mature thing to do.  Having said that, I then have to be VERY careful not to specify what that commitment 'should' be, because for everyone it can be different.

Everyone has the right to decide what choices they wish to make in life.  Even if that choice is NOT to make "unbendable decisions".
Permalink SaveTheHubble 
July 27th, 2007 6:04pm
There are those who think that life
Has nothing left to chance
With a host of holy horrors
To direct our aimless dance

A planet of playthings
We dance on the strings
Of powers we cannot perceive
The stars arent aligned ---
Or the gods are malign
Blame is better to give than receive

You can choose a ready guide
In some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide
You still have made a choice

You can choose from phantom fears
And kindness that can kill
I will choose a path thats clear
I will choose free will

There are those who think that they've been dealt a losing hand
The cards were stacked against them ---
They werent born in lotus-land

All preordained
A prisoner in chains
A victim of venomous fate
Kicked in the face
You cant pray for a place
In heavens unearthly estate

Each of us
A cell of awareness
Imperfect and incomplete
Genetic blends
With uncertain ends
On a fortune hunt
Thats far too fleet...
Permalink Send private email Ward 
July 27th, 2007 6:32pm

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