Thing 1 and Thing 2 were both sitting on the couch, immediately beside each other and talking about how they were cuddling.

awwww


I sat down for a chat and after a few minutes they popped down and starting playing 'going to the toilet'.

here is where it gets a ltitle unfortunate.  I think its time to stop letting them into the toilet with me....they were doing wees standing up* and explaining that this was because they both had a penis...

I might start shutting the door I think.

* technically they were peeing on the heater at this point....

have you taught them how to go wee in the drier yet? that's always fun. weeeeeee, kinda like a carousel but vertically.

I hear all the NZ kids are doing it.

Wait until they understand all the other perks they don't get :D

Not gonna go over well, taking their penises away.  Look how angry it's made SoP.

Yeeeessss, I've tried explaining the whole "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina" thing but they just stare blankly and want to know why Daddy gets to "hold his bottom" (direct quote) when *he* goes to the loo.

Sigh. The real problem is, they're far too young to explain the 'gift' women got in exchange...

Have they *seen* the difference between male and female though? Or does it just not register with them...?

"The real problem is, they're far too young to explain the 'gift' women got in exchange..."

And what would that gift be?

I'm afraid the answer is what I think it is.

nothing worth having.  being able to stand up and pee* _rocks_.


* yes, yes, we all know that technically women _can_ do this, but lets face it...it is _way_ less convenient for women than it is for men.

The gift of the ability to multitask, of course.

Nah. I meant multiple big O's.

Yes, they've seen, but it isn't registering.

>>> they were doing wees standing up*

Your wife hasn't domesticated you yet?

"Your wife hasn't domesticated you yet?"

the first day I pee sitting down* is the last day Ill call myself a man.


* pee by itself that is

I prefer sitting down at night* - don't need to turn on the lights, and don't make a mess.









*yes, I'm a wuss.

my grandpappy used to sit me down he did, and he would stare me in the face and he would say:

"son, there are 2 types of men; neither of them pee sitting down boy.  so remember to make me proud boy."

so whenever I pee now I think of him*.





* I actually drew his face on a pongpong ball once, improved my aim no end.

In Amsterdam airport they draw little pics of flies on the urinals, and apparently aim is up 30% or something.

"Nah. I meant multiple big O's."

Nope, that's your reward for the pain of childbirth. Ladies who haven't had the pleasure yet, get out a ruler and measure 10cm.

Or a soup can, the long way.

I was tired and dizzy one night, I peed sitting down, and I was surprised, my shmekle didn't fall off.

... pong pong ball

That's rich.

[[[ Not gonna go over well, taking their penises away.  Look how angry it's made SoP. ]]]