Here you are now. What?

Economics explained

Probably old, and I'm translating from another language, but still funny.

Christian democracy:
You have two cows, your neighbor has none. You keep one cow and give the other to your neighbor, and then regret doing it.

Socialism:
You have two cows, your neighbor has none. The government takes away one cow, gives it to your neighbor and makes you join a collective farm to help him with his livestock.

Social democracy:
You have two cows, your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You elect a government that taxes your cows, so you're forced to sell one of them to pay the tax. The government uses that money to buy a cow and gives it to your neighbor. You feel good about yourself.

Democracy:
You have two cows, your neighbor has none. So what?

Communism:
You have two cows, your neighbor has none. The government confiscates your two cows and sells you the milk. You stand in lines for hours to get the milk. It's gone sour.

Capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull, so you can start a herd.

EU bureaucracy:
You have two cows. The EU confiscates both, kills one and milks the other, then pays you compensation and dumps the milk in the sea.

American enterprise:
You have two cows. You sell one and lease it back. You incorporate yourself and force the cows to increase output by a factor of four. You are very surprised when one of them dies. You issue a press statement saying that you have cut your costs by 50%. Your share prices skyrocket.

French enterprise:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is beautiful.

Japanese enterprise:
You have two cows. Using cutting-edge genetic technology, you reduce the cows to a tenth of their size and increase their output by a factor of twenty. Then you make a funny cartoon about cows, call it Cowmon and sell it all over the world.

German enterprise:
You have two cows. Using cutting-edge genetic technology, you make the cows blonde, have them consume enormous steins of beer, produce milk of the utmost quality and capable of reaching a max speed of 160km/h. Unfortunately the cows now demand 13 weeks of vacation annually.

British enterprise:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

Italian enterprise:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You go out to look for them and meet a beautiful woman. You go to lunch. Life is beautiful.
Permalink Flasher T 
August 25th, 2005
Pah. British cows are now the safest in the world.
Permalink Colm O'Connor 
August 25th, 2005
You forgot to mention how as soon as the cows are diagnosed the Environmental 'Protection' Agency will order them and any cow within a 50 mile radius be incinerated.
Permalink qwe 
August 25th, 2005
I can't decide which is funnier, the simplified or the false stereotype. Or the over-the-top hilarious combination of the two?
Permalink  
August 25th, 2005
Oops, you found an error!