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Is this a funny joke?

Please rate this joke.

The setting is old medieval Europe. A bishop is traveling around visiting the village priests out in the countryside.
So he comes to a small village, with a small, small church and gets a short guided tour by the priest, who apparently is not too intelligent.
When they comes to the cabin that serves as the residence for the priest and his housekeeper, the bishop notes that there is only one bed. "So, where does your house keeper sleep?" the bishop asks.
"She sleeps on the right side of the bed" the priest replies."I sleep on the left."

"Do you think that is really appropriate?" says the bishop.
"Sure!" says the priest. "I have this screen that we put between the mattresses to keep us apart."

The bishop looks skeptical and after a while he says "So,
this prevents you from giving in to the temptation of the flesh?".
The priest takes a moment to decipher what is meant by temptations of the flesh, then brightens and says
"Oh no! We just remove the screen!"
Permalink Eric Debois 
January 3rd, 2006
Not really.... 2 out of 10
Permalink Phil 
January 3rd, 2006
Any joke that starts with "the setting is" is doomed. :)
Anyway, doesn't the joke go
"How do you deal with temptations of the flesh?"
"Oh, we just move the screen!"

Better joke:
A pollster knocked on a door in Anytown, USA. A pretty young woman answered.
"Hello," said the pollster, "I'm from Vaseline, and we're doing a survey to see who uses our products"
"Oh, yes," she answered brightly, "we love your petroleum jelly!"
"Really? Great," said the pollster, marking this down. "And may I ask what you use it for?"
"Sure! We use it for sex!"
"Uh, sex...?" He asked nervously. "And how, uh, why, I mean where... no, what I ..." he stammered
"We put it on the doorknob so the kids can't get in!" She volunteered.

Philo
Permalink Philo 
January 3rd, 2006
A True Story

There was this 24 hour pub half way down Pacific Highway in St. Leonards, Sydney. A very popular and crowded bar. Always loud and boisterous with 18 hours of happiness each day and 6 happy hours every day. A fun place to be.

Not surprisingly every one wanted to get in and the bouncers had a very tough time handling the ID cards. As is bound to happen with such large crowds, a donkey managed to get into the bar and went straight to the counter, sat down and asked for a Toohey's Blue ("The difference between DRINK and DRUNK is U") and morosely started to gulp down the beverage. The bartender, curious though he was, just ignored it. Jokes were cracked, pranks were pulled but nothing could be done to get so much as a smile off the donkey's face.

The pub being open 24 hours, the donkey just kept ordering more and more of brewed malt and as always was sullen and morose. A small black mark in the otherwise lively atmosphere. This went on for over a week.

Then one day entered an Indian who just had joined the employed by joining a nearby Indian Restaurant, "The Curry House". Hard earned money needs to be spent wisely and so he asked the bartender for the cheapest ale in the house and was served Toohey's Blue. Imbibing both beverage and the surroundings he forgot his worries and started to have some fun by sitting in a corner and watching others trying to balance two left feet on the dance floor. It amused him to no end. From time to time he glanced at the unhappy donkey at the bar counter.

Just as he was leaving he went up to the barman and asked him about the odd one out. The bartender replied that everything was tried out on this godforsaken creature, but to no avail, it just refused to partake in the festivities. Just sat and sulked and drinked. He also mentioned free beer for week to anyone who could make it even smile let alone have a full fledged belly twisting laugh. The Indian took up the challenge. He went upto the donkey whispered something into the donkey's ears and left.

Such laughter was unheard of in the 75 year history of that jolly good place. The donkey kept laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and just would not stop. The owners and the barmen were astonished and were awaiting the next visit of that Indian Genius to ask him what the hell he said to the donkey.

In the meantime the Indian got promoted, jumped jobs, worked two shifts, etc., etc. went home to conduct his sisters' wedding and payed off his tution fees and invest his meagre savings for his children and nieces' and nephews' education. It took about 2 years for those arrangements to be done.

On his return to that Happy Pub in St. Leonards, he went up to the barman and asked for the cheapest ale in the house. Being served Blue again, he sat down to watch the many right feet struggling on the dance floor amidst roaring laughter. He glanced around to find the donkey still laughing.

The barman called him over and said that its been like that for 26 months and people were getting tired of it, though they had nothing against a donkey enjoying himself. The barmen promised that the drinks were still on the house and if the Indian could stop the donkey laughing then the drinks will be on the house for a full month. Never to miss a chance for a freebie, the Indian went around the bar counter (the donkey had relocated himself just around the corner near the poker machines) and came back after a few moments. It took a while for the patrons to realise that the donkey had stopped laughing. They saw it leave a chance for a Royal Flush and come towards the bar counter to remain seated, as it was initially, nursing cheap ale and sulking.

The crowd, needless to say was astonished. Everyone congratulated the Indian and pestered him to reveal his secret. First they asked him to tell them what he said to the donkey that made him laugh so hysterically in the first place. The Indian replied "I told him I was hung better than him". And the barman asked him what did he say that made it to stop laughing. The Indian replied "I said nothing. I showed him."
Permalink KayJay 
January 3rd, 2006
That was way too much setup for such a mediocre joke. :P
Permalink Mark Warner 
January 3rd, 2006
Thanks for going through the effort, but that joke could use a huge amount of pruning. If it were 1/20th as long (or less) it would have far more punch. Get rid of all of the useless decoration.
Permalink Dennis Forbes 
January 3rd, 2006
It's an old one I wrote when I was just as imbibed as I am now. Just Copy/Pasted it.
Permalink KayJay 
January 3rd, 2006
Esp. the combination of "A true story" with a donkey going to a bar drinking a beer... I kept wondering if "donkey" was some local slang I was missing...

Philo
Permalink Philo 
January 3rd, 2006
Very funny, Philo. :-)

I know it's an old joke. Rummaging through memory, I vaguely recall having written that after a not very pleasant argument with some Americans over all that outsourcing hullabuloo a couple of years ago. Sort of to drive home the point that we (Loafing brownies as one of them called us) actually slogged to make ends meet and scrimp and cringe money to support family back home. Plus we tend to satisfy their women more often.

But there was a 24 hour pub half way down Pacific Highway in St. Leonards, Sydney. A very popular and crowded bar. Though they had just 2 happy hours every day. A fun place to be. IIRC, it was called "St. Leonards". I worked as a dishwasher in an Indian restaurant bang opposite, across the road.
Permalink KayJay 
January 3rd, 2006
"Plus we tend to satisfy their women more often."

Umm....aren't Indians, like most South-Asians, known for small penises? Not that it means much in the sack, but your implication seems to be that Indians are well hung.
Permalink ,..., 
January 3rd, 2006
I'm sorry. I do not have data to answer either way. I know how large mine can become, that is all.

But to a certain extent I know it's true if only because I've been complimented in such terms by a couple of non-Indian women. Maybe they were just being nice. :-)
Permalink KayJay 
January 3rd, 2006
"I've been complimented in such terms by a couple of non-Indian women"

Having a woman tell you that you have the biggest, nicest penis they've ever seen is no more real than you telling them they're the most beautiful woman that you've ever seen. It's empty words. Later all they called their girlfriends and laughed about the mini-dick, and how proudly you accepted their compliment. :-)
Permalink ,..., 
January 3rd, 2006
As I always maintain, "I've never had a bad fuck. But I sure do know a few girls who have!"
Permalink KayJay 
January 3rd, 2006
KJ++ LOL
Permalink trollop 
January 3rd, 2006
"Umm....aren't Indians, like most South-Asians, known for small penises?"

As an interracial porn pervert, from my uh...empirical research, it seems as though Indians fall into the same size range as white guys. There are a bunch of different races in India, and the ones featured in porno are usually the indian guys who basically look like white people with dark skin. No idea about the non-aryan indians.

The guys with the small dicks are the japanese. Man, when I lived in japan I felt like a black guy...
Permalink  
January 3rd, 2006
Japanese women are hot, too. Maybe I'll move to Japan and show them how it's done.
Permalink ,..., 
January 3rd, 2006
In Japan, if you are bigger than 7 inches expect your number to be passed around between friends. "Yuki, you've GOT to come try this out!" etc. If sex is what you are into you'd be hard pressed to find somewhere better than Japan.
Permalink  
January 3rd, 2006
_BLANK_

You should have told me about this Japan thing before I decided to come to USA. ;)
Permalink JD 
January 3rd, 2006
>> If sex is what you are into

Nerd.
Permalink KayJay 
January 4th, 2006
"Later all they called their girlfriends and laughed about the mini-dick, and how proudly you accepted their compliment. :-)"

Talking from personal experience, huh, 'blank'?
Permalink Full name: 
January 4th, 2006

This topic was orginally posted to the off-topic forum of the
Joel on Software discussion board.

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