Here it is. Now what?

break up decision

OK, I messed up. Sort of? I'm dating this woman, for about six months. I was courting her for about a year before. About a month ago she started getting weird about my past relationships. I've barely had any. Apparently when we were in the "just friends" phase I told her the last time I had sex was five years ago. In reality, it was more like eight years ago. (yes, I'm not a player.) I told her five years because I didn't know how to read her opinion at the time, and thought five years was a pretty pathetic stretch of chastity.

Anyway, from other conversations about my old girlfriends, she did the math and determined that I had lied about how long ago this happened. Now for at least six weeks she has been calling me every day, accusing me of lying to her. Last night I went to a pub with my roommate, and this morning she's been ringing me all morning. When we finally spoke, she was on my case: "did any women talk to you? did you talk to any women? are you sure? are you SURE?" Then she brought up my lie, and told me she can't ever trust me, and I better do something about it. She even said that she's probably going to do this for the rest of my life!

She's done this just about every day for a month, and I don't really even go out (aside with her), ever. (i work at a startup and usually work from noon until midnight) I told her I really don't know what I can do anymore, I'm sorry I liked, but that I really can't be with her if she is going to do this to me every day. It makes it really hard for me to focus on work and other things I should be doing.

I am at fault for lying to her, but in my mind her reaction seems too extreme, and indicitive of future badness. I don't want to be in a relationsip where she is constantly accusing me of lying and possibly sleeping around, when she must know on some objective level that all I'm doing is sitting around hacking on this project.

Anyway, she took what I said as "i don't want to be with her and work on this" which is sort of half true at this point. I would like to be with her, but I really don't know what I can do to remedy the situation. And I think she's REALLY overreacting. However, I don't know how women's minds work and maybe I am truly the bad guy here.

I don't know what the point of this post is, other than to get stuff off my mind. Discuss? or something.
Permalink not a player. 
January 17th, 2006
Just tell her you post to ?off. You'll assuage any fears of you being a player then and there.
Permalink Colm O'Connor 
January 17th, 2006
heh. it seems like a good "web 2.0" blog/forum thing for relationship advice would be a very popular site. could be viewed as both entertainment and a public service.
Permalink not a player. 
January 17th, 2006
Oops, you found an error!