Why, in the name of god, is there a direct correlation between collar and chest sizes when it comes to shirts? I need a 16.5" collar in order to have any chance of breathing once I've done it up, but it seems that shirt manufacturers assume that if you have a 16.5" neck you must also have a gigantic chest, so shirts always look like tents on me.

I've even tried "big and tall" shops but fared no better, so short of getting bespoke shirts made for me or putting on 100 pounds so that the regular shirts fit, can anyone suggest a solution?

Tuck the shirt in.

Even when I was thin, I wasn't having the problem you describe. I buy Stafford and IZOD shirts.

Treat yourself, get some shirts made.

It'll never make good economic sense for me to get shirts made. I destroy dress shirts in a year or less.

You should cut your fingernails more often and possibly wear a bib.

Well if you weren't so clumsy with that lightsaber, you might not cut them up so badly.

Or were you exposed to gamma radiation in the past and intense emotions cause a bizarre transformation?

I feel for ya. People often ask me why my sleeves are always rolled up. Because when I buy shirts that have long sleeves that fit me, the neck and chest size are several inches too big. Instead I purchase a size that fits my chest and neck just fine, but the sleeves only make it to within about 2 inches of my wrists. So I roll them up to the elbows.

Yep sleeves are always too short for me.

I don't stain shirts. Typically the elbows wear out first.

Come to Savile Row and get a shirt fitted. Trust me, they're good ;-)

Suits _you_, Sir.

How many shirts do you have that you wear them out? Are you wearing them 25 times, 50 times, 100 times? How are you washing them, are you boiling them and running them through the cheese grater attached to a hair dryer along with your wet sandpaper and jeans with all the zippers on them to dry them?

Fitted shirts aren't the same as custom made, they just have the collar & cuffs sewn on or something. They're not cheap, but might be less expensive than you think.

I have the same problem with shirts, my head & neck are pretty big and most of the shirts I get choke me if I close the top button.

Your poor mom.

C-section?

I wouldn't know.

I do have some fun stories about my parents thinking I was going to fall over as a kid crawling around on the floor, though.

That's the problem, Mark, I have too few. I have maybe 7 or 8 shirts at any one time. They get worn at least once a week. Some twice because a few of them are just gross and I tend not to use them unless I have to.

My son has a big head. C-section. Didn't help that he was facing backwards and wouldn't turn around.

Anyway, muppet, buy some more shirts. You'll cycle through them less often and they'll last longer. As far as you having crazy long monkey arms...well...we already knew you were a mutant, so you'll just have to buy them at the crazy long monkey armed folks shirt store.

Just wait for the sale and stock up. Even if you get the exact same style/color in more than one shirt it won't make you look like any more of a bum than you already do.

"Buy more shirts" is great advice but not practical. I have only so much I can spend on clothing for myself in a year. :-)

Now, I could buy cheaper shirts, but then I'd likely have the same problem even with a greater quantity of shirts.

You're right, of course, muppet. You're doomed to wear crappy clothes that wear out too fast.

Doomed, I tell you, doomed!

:)

Heh, I know it's a nonsense argument but it's the only one I've got. :-)

That's why I said wait for a sale... Spend the same money, on the same clothes, but get more of them at once.

hit the gym.

or buy shirts from asia.

Why not go ahead and get the large collar that you need, then visit a local tailor to get the chest taken in? It'll be cheaper (but not as good looking as a bespoke/custom shirt would be). All they'll do is take it in along the side seam.

At that point, I'd just get some custom fitted shirts.

Besides, I've yet to find a good tailor. It's not like I buy so many clothes that I get to try a lot out. I could ask my local Banana Republic who they use, the pants I get from them are decently hemmed. I'm afraid to take my shirts to anyone, though. The chances of screwing that up are too great.

As I only wear the shirts for work I'm not really prepared to spend more money than absolutely neccessary. Sure, I'd love some bespoke shirts, a fitted suit, etc., but my clothing budget barely hits three figures over the course of a year. Heck, I've been wearing the same pair of boots practically every day for the past two years.

Hitting the gym is a nice idea, but as I'd not only need to increase my chest size by almost 12" I'd need to do it without making my already gigantic neck any bigger I'm guessing it wouldn't by entirely helpful. Plus, of course, I'm too goddamned lazy.

I may try getting a shirt altered and see how it looks, and if it turns out OK and doesn't stretch my budget too much perhaps I can finally stop looking like a partially deflated balloon whenever I put a shirt on. :)

My brother uses something that might solve your problem. It's basically a button that just has a strip of plastic or thread (I forget which) attached to it. You put the plastic or thread, whichever, around the top button on your shirt, and then you button your shirt with this new top button. It basically gives you more neck room, but it's not really noticable under a necktie. So maybe the OP could get smaller shirts and use one of these to make his neck comfortable.

How much do bespoke shirts really cost?

I read an article in Seattle about a local tailor, and apparently they run in the $30 or $40 range if you buy 3-4 at a time.

And that's not far off from a shirt in the store for something which looks & feels much better.

La dee da, Mark shops at Banana Republic.

I remember back in the 80's when Banana Republics were dolled up to look like tropical islands inside. Palm trees and coconuts and crates full of bananas and shit. The one my parents used to go into had an old army jeep in the back with its headlights on.

Good times.

http://www.micamisa.com/ http://www.thomsonblake.ch/webshop/index.do and many, many more ...

> Come to Savile Row and get a shirt fitted.

I thought one got shirts from Jermyn Street?

"I remember back in the 80's when Banana Republics were dolled up to look like tropical islands inside."

And then, of course, Gap Inc. bought the chain and it became bland and faceless and almost indistinguishable from any of their regular stores. *sigh* Oh, and they're apparently evil although they seem to be getting better:

http://www.responsibleshopper.org/basic.cfm?cusip=364760

(Also, why the would anyone name a clothing shop after a politically corrupt or unstable nation?)

It's obvious in retrospect: They designed the whole chain from the start for a hostile takeover. Hence the name.

for the price of 7-8 bespoke shirts, are you sure you couldn't pick up pectoral enlargement surgery from a carribean surgeon? what about falsies?

Yeah, those plastic button things. I've seen them. Never thought of trying them though. Maybe I'll look into it.

Banana Republic is awesome. I always find something there. I don't really want to like them, but I do.

Jermyn Street was more known for being a street of brothels, though there were and still are shirtmakers there. Aleister Crowley also had a flat in Jermyn Street.