Sanding our assholes with 150 grit. Slowly. Lovingly.

The perfect troll... watch

Hi. I'm using the <TABLE> tag to force a fixed width. It doesn't work. What do I do?
Permalink Cory R. King 
January 23rd, 2006
Idiot. Was that necessary to get our attention ?
You are hereby an imperfect troll.
Permalink Vineet Reynolds 
January 23rd, 2006
Your reply is what is not perfect. Please fix. A line by line rebuttal is prefered.
Permalink Cory R. King 
January 23rd, 2006
That was never a reply. It was just an observation. The keys on my keyboard automatically set themselves into motion and tranformed the trajectory on the hypersurface to hypertext.

*Applauds*
Permalink Vineet Reynolds 
January 23rd, 2006
Using TABLE to design your pages is so 1999ish.
Permalink JD 
January 23rd, 2006
A better troll would be to start out with a paragraph like this:

HI EVERYONE, I love joel and totally agree with the Joel test, at my company only the best l33t h@x0rs will work with me, and all you other so called programmers should not be in this business. If you're using Windoze and not using Linux, you need to rethink why your even trying.

Anyways, i am working on a website for a personal hobby of mine (http://www.StopTheLiberals.com), and am having trouble getting the formatting to work using the <TABLE> tag. It was working fine in the original design, but i decided to rewrite it from scratch because the previous design sucked. I hired someone in India on craigslist to help me with this problem, but he put all this crazy javascript in there now so now I need to rewrite it again!!! Will using Ruby help?
Permalink Phil 
January 23rd, 2006
I've done this one already anyway:

http://discuss.joelonsoftware.com/default.asp?off.9.296170.6
Permalink Mat Hall 
January 23rd, 2006
Yeah, you hit all the hotbuttons there, Phil.

LOL.

Oh wait, you missed a couple:

Stored procedures are for fags!
Ajax r0xx0rs!
Permalink sharkfish 
January 23rd, 2006
The more perfect troll would just say this:
I saved Chuck Norris' life in Vietnam.

[g,d,r]
Permalink Vineet Reynolds 
January 23rd, 2006
Vineet,

Who the hell are you? and how did you find us?

Oh, and welcome.
Permalink  
January 23rd, 2006
Mat, your post served as the model framework for my pathetic troll.

I think you cannot mention the use of <TABLE> or any kind of pixel-accurate alignment on any web-forum without at least one blow-hard defending the rights of lynx/blind/elderly/cripple/mega-hi-resolution-monitor users everywhere.
Permalink Cory R. King 
January 23rd, 2006
I'm the troll guardian. You would never notice me because your sights are on the mighty trolls lurking here.
Permalink Vineet Reynolds 
January 23rd, 2006
No seriously. Who the fuck are you?
Permalink  
January 23rd, 2006
Do you ever ask yourself who are ? Only Descartes would. I'm not Descartes.
Permalink Vineet Reynolds 
January 23rd, 2006
Where do you work?
How old are you?
Male or female?
Java C# or C++?
Emacs or Vi?
Shorts or Briefs?
...
Permalink Rick Tang 
January 23rd, 2006
I'm sorry, Rick Tang, those questions belong to Sathy.
Permalink AllanL5 
January 23rd, 2006

This topic was orginally posted to the off-topic forum of the
Joel on Software discussion board.

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