Oops, 7 Days. Hey look I don't update on weekends.

O'Reilly animal wars

We were having an argument at work over which language is best, and this can only really be judged by which animal on the O'Reilly covers is the hardest.

I was rooting for PHP; the hardest animal that has is probably the eagle. My colleague favours Python. Now the eagle could take the snake but Python also has a crocodile, which would doubtless eat the eagle.

However, PHP also has a bunch of meerkats and tortoises, and were they to group together they could probably have the crocodile no problem.

So, which is the best language?
Permalink Paul 
August 12th, 2005
I can't see meerkats and tortoises getting together; they operate at different clock speeds.
Permalink Bhasker 
August 12th, 2005
Foxpro would be too wily for the rest of them...
Permalink qwe 
August 12th, 2005
JavaScript's rhino is fairly dangerous, and I don't know what kind of tick the one on the embedded C/C++ book is, but if it's one that acts as a vector for some nasty disease then it's got to rank quite highly on the hardness scale. :)
Permalink Mat Hall 
August 12th, 2005
Java's Tiger would take them all.
Permalink KC 
August 12th, 2005
Almost makes it seem worthwhile to write a new language called Lava Demon...
Permalink qwe 
August 12th, 2005
-"Java's Tiger would take them all."

-"Almost makes it seem worthwhile to write a new language called Lava Demon..."

You honor, I request a sidebar.
Permalink Dude passing by 
August 12th, 2005
you <-> your
Permalink Dude passing by 
August 12th, 2005
Penguins! Penguins rule them all! Don't forget the power, stability, and security afforded by the mighty penguin!
Permalink I am Jack's infinite id 
August 12th, 2005
I'm no so sure the tiger could take out the rhino. I'm not willing to try this experiment at home, as I've grown quite attatched my tiger, but I'll lend out my rhino if someone else wants to give a test.
Permalink Jeff Barton 
August 12th, 2005
Rock paper scissors.
Permalink son of parnas 
August 12th, 2005
Hey, Jeff, I can't compete with your Tiger, but I can get my Cat to fight my Armadillo. Do you think the results will scale up?
Permalink AllanL5 
August 12th, 2005
Perhaps. To know for sure you should dye some orange and black stripes on your cat, and secore a suitable horn on the snout of your armadillo. Video tape the fight so that we can review the experiment and ensure neither animal uses any technique uncharacteristic of it's larger counter part.
Permalink Jeff Barton 
August 12th, 2005
Oh, wait, I just remembered the Kipling story that explains the Turtle and the Armidillo. It WAS a Tiger in that story, which was defeated by the armor plates of the Armidillo, and by the shell of the Turtle.

If a Tiger is defeated by an Armidillo, certainly he'd have no luck with a Rhino. So, on that evidence, I guess we'll have to conclude that the Rhinocerous would win. So what predator kills Rhino's? Since the Serengeti Plain is not overrun with Rhino's, something must be taking them out.
Permalink AllanL5 
August 12th, 2005
I think man is probably the rhino's biggest (or perhaps only) predator, but as I don't think we appear on any O'Reilly books we're not in the running.
Permalink Mat Hall 
August 12th, 2005
Are there any O'Rielly books with human's on the cover. I've heard they can destroy just about anything. (Not that I've ever encountered one.)
Permalink Jeff Barton 
August 12th, 2005
Mat, you jerk. You beat me. And you spelled things good.
Permalink Jeff Barton 
August 12th, 2005
ftp://ftp.ora.com/pub/graphics/book_covers/hi-res/1565924002.jpg

End of game. ;)
Permalink Tayssir John Gabbour 
August 12th, 2005
Damn it, you two beat me to it...
Permalink Tayssir John Gabbour 
August 12th, 2005
Http version which will be a clickable link on this forum...

http://www.oreilly.com/catalog/covers/linag2.s.gif
Permalink Tayssir John Gabbour 
August 12th, 2005
AND he's got a gun.
Permalink AllanL5 
August 12th, 2005
So apparently Linux Network Admin is about as hard as it gets. I have no idea about this. Does it fit the analogy?
Permalink Jeff Barton 
August 12th, 2005
I don't see no tanks or nucular weapons in that pic - just a guy on horseback with a pistol.

I'd like to see him take on a rhino...

Philo
Permalink Philo 
August 12th, 2005
Yeah, we did stray from the topic a little -- originally is was, which Language is more bad-ass, because it has the most bad-ass animal on the O'Reilly cover.

Unix System Administration is not really a language, is it? Some SysAdmins would like to PRETEND it's all greek, of course. That root privelege is not something to be spread around lightly.

I think the Rhino is still the top dog. Hee hee.
Permalink AllanL5 
August 12th, 2005
Doesn't one of the O'Reilly books have a blue whale? Pretty tough to beat - throw a rhino in the ocean with a blue whale, see how he does.

Philo
Permalink Philo 
August 12th, 2005
"throw a rhino in the ocean with a blue whale, see how he does"

Throw a blue whale onto the dusty plains and see how well *he* does even without a rhino's presence. :)
Permalink Mat Hall 
August 12th, 2005
Okay back to the guy on the horse with a gun and the rope. I think he *might* be able to take out the rhino, if he is a brilliant hunter. Not a match I would envy though. I've heard rhino's can reach 45mph on a charge. That's pretty impressive.
Permalink Jeff Barton 
August 12th, 2005
Yeah, and they weigh what, about 1-2 tons?

That's worse than getting hit by an SUV.
Permalink I am Jack's infinite id 
August 12th, 2005
Well, a female friend commented to me that she knew why nerds bought Head-First Design Patterns:
http://www.oreilly.com/catalog/covers/hfdesignpat.s.gif

If her theory is true, I'm sure the Design girl could get some Russian nerd to obtain a tank and maybe a nuke to take out the rhino. Or maybe first she should convince the Linux Network Admin hunter/nerd to try taking on the rhino, and killing whomever survives.

So maybe design patterns are the hardest, but again it's not exactly a specific language. ;(
Permalink Tayssir John Gabbour 
August 13th, 2005
Incidentally, I'm maybe overly biased in favor of opposable thumbs and abstract thought, as the hunter with the rope could lure the rhino into some bog... and the Design Patterns lady could recognize his luring pattern and figure out some way to mess things up so both the rhino and the hunter get taken out.

I'm sure her steaming pot of coffee and spare brain could come in handy at a crucial moment...
Permalink Tayssir John Gabbour 
August 13th, 2005
It looks like design patterns girl has other problems to deal with:
http://www.vagisil.com/teencenter.shtml
Permalink Rhys Keepence 
August 13th, 2005
The giraffe can take out the rhino.

I have seen this in a Zoo where they keep them together.

When a rhino came too close to the giraffe, the giraffe swung it's head and hit the rhino in the side. The rhino was thrown a meter aside. It shrugged and went away a few steps.

You could feel the thump through the ground.

I have heard recent stories about undiciplined young elephant males that kill rhinos for sport when they try to drink from 'their' pool.
Permalink Erik Springelkamp 
August 13th, 2005
Now, I can believe it about the elephant. Elephants can kill just about anything in a one on one match.

I'm not so sure about the giraffe. I'm not saying I'd like that head swung at me, but I don't think it'd be such a problem for an adult rhino.
Permalink Jeff Barton 
August 13th, 2005

This topic was orginally posted to the off-topic forum of the
Joel on Software discussion board.

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