Best Blonde Joke Ever!
To save you the time of following the link, I keep finding myself "reaching for the remote" in real life, expecting the ability to rewind reality. Anyone else with a PVR experiencing this odd sensation?
How does this gel with the topic?
Or is someone trying to do automatic moderation ?
My tivo moments are when I'm listening to the radio and miss something - I'm mentally reaching for the button to wind it back a bit...
January 28th, 2006 2:15pm
Two blondes walk into a bar. One blone says, how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The first blond says, I don't know, knock knock. The blonds says, who's there? Then they kiss and make out.
January 28th, 2006 2:59pm
My radio HAS a "repeat" button. :) I can go back 45 minutes.
January 28th, 2006 4:12pm
I'll piggy back this one ... it's not _that_ good that it deserves it's own thread:
LETTER HOME FROM A FARM KID NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT.
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.
Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay.Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc, but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed again.
It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home.
Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice but awful flat.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it.You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving Daughter,
January 28th, 2006 5:26pm
A woman calls her boss one morning
and tells him that she is staying home
because she is not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she
says in a weak voice.
"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"
"I can't see my ass coming into work today."
January 28th, 2006 6:23pm
Recently, while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long gray hair, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff.
President Bush went up to the man and said, "Has anyone told you that you look like Moses?" The man didn't answer. He just kept staring straight ahead.
The President said, "Moses!" in a loud voice. The man just stared ahead, never acknowledging the President.
The president pulled a Secret Service agent aside and, pointing to the robed man, asked him, "Am I crazy or does that man not look like Moses to you?" The Secret Service agent looked at the man and agreed.
"Well," said the president, "every time I say his name, he ignores me and stares straight ahead, refusing to speak. Watch!"
Again the President yelled, "Moses!" and again the man ignored him.
The Secret Service agent went up to the man in the white robe and whispered, "You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?" The man leaned over and whispered back, "Yes, I am Moses."
"However, the last time I talked to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the desert and ended up leading my people to the only spot in the entire Middle East where there was no oil."
January 28th, 2006 6:26pm
Bah ha hah ha ha hah ha...oh...burning bush...so funny...
January 29th, 2006 2:34am