Here you are now. What?

So what does a web suicide note look like?

Exctly like this:

"Whereas a prolonged life is not necessarily better, a prolonged death is necessarily worse."
Seneca

My death at least will be quick.

My mother told me once, late into my teen when I was in intensive care after an intentional drug overdose, that my child psychiatrist told her I would always be a risk of suicide and that I would have to be watched closely. He was right. Suicide is a near constant theme in my mind. And this weekend, I am alone and the suicidal voice is louder than it has ever been, so I am certain I will not survive the the afternoon. I have already taken enough drugs that my liver will shut down shortly and I am off to find a place to hide and die. I a tired. I am tired of feeling the same feelings and experiencing the same experiences. It is time to move on and see what is next if anything.

Enough is enough.

Oh and BTW, the mind is a maximum hypersurface and thought a trajectory on it and the amygdala and hippocampus are Hopf maps of it. No one knew this before me, and it seems no one care. So be it. My time will come in a hundred or a thousand years when the idea again returns.

This Luis Vuitton, Parada, Mont Blanc is not for me. If only I was loved as much a pen...
Permalink Chris McKinstry 
January 20th, 2006
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