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Married and two beds

Curious, for the married people out there or not; have you ever questioned the fact that most married people must sleep in the same bed?

Obviously, in the early part of the marriage, I can see a want to do so. But (for example my parents), live in the same bed for 20+ years. At some point, you would think they would bring it up?

Or maybe it is just one of those things that doesnt really matter.

I guess we will leave separate rooms for next time...
Permalink Not Berlin 
January 15th, 2006
Uh, for seventeen years I've considered snuggling next to a naked woman in bed to be a main benefit of being married. (I know you don't have to be married to do so, but since I am, I'm taking advantage of it)

There are times at 3am that the only reason I go to bed is knowing she's there for me.

Why would you *want* separate beds?

Philo
Permalink Philo 
January 15th, 2006
Maybe the spouse has the "jimmy legs"?
Permalink Yoey 
January 15th, 2006
...or farts, snores or steals all the duvet. I just don't know how my good lady puts up with it.

What I do know is that a single bed is better for sleep when solo (less cold spots).
Permalink trollop 
January 15th, 2006
Just one of those non-universal cultural norms I'm reasonably happy with. If you want to get historical the rich used to run to two bedrooms with a connecting corridor...
Permalink a cynic writes... 
January 15th, 2006
The VanDykes slept in separate beds.
Permalink sharkfish 
January 15th, 2006
...which is why Mary Tyler Moore was single by the time she had that network news job...

Philo
Permalink Philo 
January 15th, 2006
Yes, but they were on TV, weren't they? Everybody slept in two beds on TV, until Bob Newhart.
Permalink AllanL5 
January 15th, 2006
Let us just say, the marriage is good. Things are good. But, you look around and you are 60. The good-loving-time hasn't happened since 5 years in the past. So, I can see at one point, somebody has to consider sleeping in separate beds.

I mean, imagine if you are married 30+ years, that is 10950 days in the same bed. That alone would probably drive me nuts.
Permalink Not Berlin 
January 15th, 2006
That's why I travel. :)

While I'd never indict anyone for their choices in a relationship, I think someone who moves readily to a separate but equal bedroom may not have been in a "happy" marriage in the first place. (As opposed to drifting towards occasionally sleeping in the guest room, couch, easy chair, etc)

Philo
Permalink Philo 
January 15th, 2006
Marriage isn't for everyone. Truly. If sharing a bed for 30 years turns you off, then make sure you don't get married!

One size fits all social constraints are the height of idiocy. We are all different.
Permalink sharkfish 
January 15th, 2006
"We are all different."

I'm not!
Permalink Mat Hall 
January 15th, 2006
"Truly. If sharing a bed for 30 years turns you off, then make sure you don't get married!"

See, that is my point; why does marriage have to include sleeping 4 inches from a person.
Permalink Not Berlin 
January 15th, 2006
I am just thinking about Aaron. He has like 5 people in his bed.
Permalink Not Berlin 
January 15th, 2006
Allan, I'm not sure what date you are thinking of with Bob Newhart, but Darrin and Samantha slept in the same bed in Bewitched from the very beginning, which would have been 1964 I think.
Permalink Ian Boys 
January 15th, 2006
"See, that is my point; why does marriage have to include sleeping 4 inches from a person. "

For me, marriage implies an abundance of love for a person, and an abundance of love for a person implies wishing to be close to them (because you love them). If you wish to be close to them then it makes you happy to be close to them while sleeping also.
Permalink Cool Dad 
January 15th, 2006
my GF and I have a spare bedroom that one of us can crash in if someone is sick, or she has bad PMS, or if we get pissed at each other. On average I would say it gets used about 18 days a year. It beats the couch.

A friend of my dad had a wife that lived in Wisconsin while he lived in Philly. They saw each other on average 18 days a year. I could never figure that one out...
Permalink _ 
January 17th, 2006
Simple, your dad's friend was gay and so is your dad.
Permalink Generic Error 
January 17th, 2006
Sometimes people snore. Others can't sleep with another person tossing and turning next to them. Besides, visiting one's partner in another room can be romantic. Having separate bedrooms is no reflection on the health of a relationship.

PS - I read that putting a television in the bedroom cuts down the frequency of sex by 50%. So get rid of the TV if you want to get lucky more often!
Permalink Dana 
January 17th, 2006

This topic was orginally posted to the off-topic forum of the
Joel on Software discussion board.

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