What serendipitous timing for this blurb:

http://news.webindia123.com/news/showdetails.asp?id=106263&cat=Entertainment

http://people.monstersandcritics.com/article_1040571.php/Jennifer_Connelly_gets_a_lot_done_while_having_sex

The same article, but an added paragraph or two.

Your sexual experience just hasn't matured sufficiently yet.

Wow, her husband must be really lame at it.

Or maybe she's just totally jaded.

In her defense, she was probably (hopefully!) joking, but it's still funny to take it seriously.

No, a frigid bitch would read INSTEAD of having sex. Frigid, maybe, bitch, definitely not.

I have to say I think I'd find it rather offputting (not to mention ego-bruising) if someone started reading whilst I was having sex with them, but I guess from the sheer mechanics of the situation at least when she's shopping online there'd be a bit of variety in the position, and providing she's sufficiently distracted he may even be able to "screw her in the back of a Volkswagen"*

* Obscure film reference.

I think you all misunderstand the physical and mental control required to achieve such mundane activities at the same time as indulging in sexual congress.

Or perhaps our standards of participation are very low when it comes to Jennifer Connelly.

If she wants to read, why not? Sure, it may lower the quality of the experience, but this is Jennifer Connelly, after all.

Of course she was joking! Sheesh. Actually, it's a pretty good con -- at least it defuses the question.

"I think you all misunderstand the physical and mental control required to achieve such mundane activities at the same time as indulging in sexual congress."

How is it that Simon manages to make everything he write sound like it's being written by a committee of editors?

I understand it rather well, and I'd rather have someone's undivided attention during sex.

"I'd rather have someone's undivided attention during sex"

Definitely. It's bad enough if someone's not really paying attention when you're talking to them, so during intimate moments it's bound to put you off your stroke, so to speak...

Long years of writing reports for people, if I could only select the font, size and styling of paragraphs I'd just convince you on sight of my deep and well considered opinion.

You need a special tongue in cheek detector as well.

"I think you all misunderstand the physical and mental control required to achieve such mundane activities at the same time as indulging in sexual congress."

Hey! Keep congress out of my bedroom!

Mat Hall, did you say something?

>> he may even be able to "screw her in the back of a Volkswagen"

Assuming you're thinking what I'm thinking, I wouldn't want to that to my *wife*.

I know Jennifer Connelly is a beautiful and talented actress, and she's, what, 35?

The weird thing is, I saw here a few weeks ago on Jay Leno, in high definition on my 9' screen, and she looked like Bride of Skeletor. Scary stuff, really.

I've seen celebrities in person before where there was this sort of disconnect, but I wonder if this is going to be an unforseen consequence of the move to HDTV -- to much realism?

"but I wonder if this is going to be an unforseen consequence of the move to HDTV -- to much realism?"

Yes.

Kinda like those darn talkies...discovering your fave silent stars sounded like crap was such a drag.

I always have that problem when I run into the Mona Lisa.

To riff on Aaron's observation: I also saw Jessica Alba.

That was a very good thing.

And then she talked.

Doesn't she talk in the movies too?

Yes, but it's someone else's words: her voice isn't the problem.

you have a NINE FOOT hd display? jesus christ.

I bet Jay Leno's headlines are a lot funnier on a TV like that, yep.

I've also "heard stories" of people who've watched hardcore porn on the big screen.

And you thought you felt inadequate _before_.

>> I bet Jay Leno's headlines are a lot funnier on a TV like that, yep.

Not to mention Kevin's witty banter. I have no idea why they bother. You, know, I'm old enough to remember when Jay Leno actually was funny; it was a long time ago.

On the other hand, shows like _The West Wing_ is markedly improved in big HD, as are most movies.

Where are you getting the HD movies? DVD is 480i or p, which is basically NTSC.

I have one MHD channel (the Movie Network in High Definition) here in Canada, but while the resolution is there, they over-compress so there's serious posterization and contrast issues at times. In fact over-compression is becoming a major gripe of mine, with 2/3rds of the "super clear" digital channels looking like utter tripe on a half-decent set. Maybe instead of adding a "French subtitled Polish Channel" for that one guy that wants it, they could use some of the bandwidth for quality of the existing channels.

>> Where are you getting the HD movies? DVD is 480i or p, which is basically NTSC.

Bell Expressvu satellite here in Calgary. Although I have a copy of Terminator 2 DVD extreme edition, which has an HDTV WMP version. As far as I can tell, I'm the only person on the planet who ever got it to actually work -- and let me tell you, it wasn't easy.

I don't have any movie channels, although it looks like I'll have to sign up to one to get HBO. The video quality of the shows seems to vary dramatically, but when it works, it works very well.

"DVD is 480i or p, which is basically NTSC."

... but widescreen. To get letterbox on NTSC, you'd go down to around 300 real pixels. This has nothing to do with HD, but it's (barely) worth pointing out.

who cares if it's HD or not, its NINE FUCKING FEET. that thing could be displaying the test pattern all day and i'd still sit there and stare at it for 12 hours.

"In fact over-compression is becoming a major gripe of mine"

I have the same issue with the terrestrial digital TV in the UK. Whenever there's a lot of motion (moving water, explosions, crowd scenes, people wearing highly-patterened clothes, etc.) it's *ugly*; areas of low contrast (things filmed at night, flat backgrounds, that sort of thing) suffer from some pretty obvious artifacts, and sometimes I feel the picture is actually worse than the old-fashioned analogue transmissions...

Still, that's progress for you!

> Jay Leno's headlines

Wait, I really do like the headlines. I haven't seen them in over a year, but they used to crack me up big time. In fact they are best thing about his whole stupid show. Conan O'Brian can make me laugh on his own, though.

Figures that the best part of the show is something the viewers mail in.

Actually, one of the best parts is watching Jay try to glace at his female guests' breasts without being obvious. HI-LARIOUS.

that's not fair, you have the advantage of being able to stare at her breasts without being noticed on national TV, cut him some slack.

He has the same chance I do after the taping stops.

yeah but..................


boobs.

One hour a day, Jay. Focus. Focus. After the show you can take one of your several dozen fancy cars and drive down to the local strip club.

<em>I don't have any movie channels, although it looks like I'll have to sign up to one to get HBO.</em>

Just as a warning/bonus (depending on your take), the Movie Network, which I think is across Canada and carried by most major providers, now showcases hard-core porn in the evenings. It's quite a shock to flip past a channel with some close up, errr, "trunk of the volkswagon" action.

I don't care at all what the broad I am banging thinks, does, pretends, etc. as long as there's no obstruction to my penetration.

One could argue that in doggy style, she can order some stuff from 'Sharper Image' catalogue online while you are banging away.

"who cares if it's HD or not, its NINE FUCKING FEET. that thing could be displaying the test pattern all day and i'd still sit there and stare at it for 12 hours."

Sidebar please.

TMI Dan, TMI.

And let me add, I now think less of you. Even though I might agree a little bit.

I am heartbroken AllanL5. You thinking less of me is too much to bear!

Geez. I'd personally be a bit bothered if her eyes weren't rolling back in her head.

So what do you think when her head starts revolving on her neck?

I imagine the foul language when the Devil speaks is quite a turn on though.

You know it.