Reconciling assholes for nearly a decade.

Virus Warning

From a colleague -- I thought I'd pass this on as a public service. Be afraid. Be very afraid ...




Subject: Virus Warning...

If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes"delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything
on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM (cashcard) access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR (video recorder), and uses
subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair (a hair remover) and your Nair with Rogaine (a hair stimulant). If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it
will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill
your skim milk with whole milk.

*** WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***
And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
Send this warning to everyone!!!

THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!
Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!!

And look at you - you're on the computer!!!
Permalink Mongo 
August 2nd, 2005
> Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!!

And there is a good probability that Alyson Hannigan will be butt naked at some point today as well.
Permalink lumberjack 
August 2nd, 2005
> and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play

This must be what my cat uses to scratch my CD's.

Even though they are locked in case that only a human could open they somehow have little kitty footprints and scratches on them.
Permalink lumberjack 
August 2nd, 2005
>And there is a good probability that Alyson Hannigan will
>be butt naked at some point today as well.

Quit looking in my bedroom window!
Permalink Colm O'Connor 
August 3rd, 2005
Get on with it!
Permalink 15,056,727th in line 
August 3rd, 2005
Dammit!
Permalink Aaron F Stanton 
August 3rd, 2005

This topic was orginally posted to the off-topic forum of the
Joel on Software discussion board.

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