Yes, he is.

Now is that any way to treat a guy who only just found out that he doesn't have cancer? Do you know how traumatic that can be?

At least now he can go golfing...

Philo

No, he's not.

A guy goes to the doctor and the doc tells him, "Well I have good news and bad news."

"Lay it on me, doc", the man says.

"Alright, the bad news is that you have cancer."

"Oh my... Then what's the good news?", the man asks.

"Well, you seem to have severe Alzheimer's."

"Whew, that's not so bad. I thought you were going to tell me I had cancer!"

Man goes to the doctor. Doctor looks up from a lab report and says "I have good news and I have bad news"

"What's the good news?"
"You have one week to live."
"OH MY GOD!!! That's the GOOD news? What the hell is the BAD news?!?!"
"These lab results are six days old."

Philo

Given my medical history, my current condition, and my symptoms, it was perfectly reasonable to fear colon cancer in this particular case.

I guess when I was tearfully praying last night that I'd be allowed to stick around long enough for my daughter to grow up was just me playing to an audience, too.

I'm actually relieved that you do not have cancer. You made me think of you and I actually worried a bit. I don't want to care dammit! But I do.

Go ahead, throw expletives at me. But you're still a drama queen. ;p

"I guess when I was tearfully praying last night that I'd be allowed to stick around long enough for my daughter to grow up was just me playing to an audience, too."

No, but posting about it is.

No, that's defending myself in response to a particularly offensive accusation.

Important tip: the best way to avoid random strangers criticising your personal life is to avoid blogging about it, no matter how much you may think it fits in an off-topic forum.

Also, while you're tearfully praying for god to save your life, why not tearfully pray for all the people who god chose to ignore while their doctors weer giving them the bad news? No? You only tearfully pray for god to save you? Cool, I'm sure god's very proud of you.

"I guess when I was tearfully praying last night that I'd be allowed to stick around long enough for my daughter to grow up was just me playing to an audience, too."

Yes, but to a different audience :). Glad your tests came out the way they did.

Tearfully praying does not make you pathetic. Screaming mama in public to attract attention to your precious self is. (Snapping at people about how praying makes you "not pathetic" despite all the disgusting drama you're spewing here daily is still pathetic.)

Crawl under the bed, muppet. You are a sad, pathetic drama whore. Pray that God makes you realize that and change your wretched character.

Thanks for the advice, ping, I'd had no idea I was embarrassing myself until you told me.

I'm simply not a very private guy. I say what's on my mind, even when what's on my mind is personal. If that embarrasses YOU, well, don't listen.

There seem to be a lot of people here who get embarassed or upset on other people's behalf. It's a strange phenomenon, and I'm curious as to why they do it. Do they feel that the individual concerned needs defending, do they need to somehow "validate" themselves, are they scarred by an earlier experience, or are they just interfering busy-bodies with axes to grind?

Whatever the reason, I wish they'd stop it...

Off Topic...all muppet, all the time...

muppet...all id, all the time...

(And yes, muppet, I'm glad you don't have cancer. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.)

- Don't be so defensive!
- I'm not defensive!

Mat,

Actually, we just enjoy personally insulting you.

You do? Well apologise forthwith! Don't you know I have a bit of a headache, you insensitive clod!

That's just the dope wearing off.

You could be right. Well, there's a simple remedy to that! :)

"That's just the dope wearing off."

Mat's wearing off? You mean like the bug repellent stuff?

http://www.offprotects.com/

Mosquitos bad where you live, huh Mat?