Y'all are a bunch of wankers!

what's up with haters? is this normal?

ok. so here's the deal.

i've been a programmer for about 8 years. and have done alright. I currently work at a small company making media (audio/video) software for the mac. i'm not rich but i do ok, and have a lot of flexibility.

this summer, I'm going to start taking some extra courses in the basic sciences for three semesters. organic chem, biophysics, biochemistry, physical chemistry, etc. i have some ideas for software that might be useful in virus research (in college I did a senior thesis on this, and would like to re-visit it). I also want to keep my options open for possibly attending medical school.

anyway, people have been asking me about my future plans. and the only feedback i've gotten was negative. my mom thinks i'm an idiot. my friends think i'm a nerd. my girlfriend thinks i'm an asshole. "why do you think you can do that?? you are so arrogant." (?) what gives. i thought someone might give me some positive feedback.

in the future remind me not to tell people about my interests and plans when they ask.
Permalink _ 
January 12th, 2006
> in the future remind me not to tell people
> about my interests and plans when they ask.

People don't like change and the feel bad that they are standing pat. They want everyone else to be just as much a loser as they are.

You should tell them about your plans. Hopefully it might inspire them.
Permalink son of parnas 
January 12th, 2006
I think it's time to get rid of your friends and find some new ones. You only get one mother though, so you will have to suffer patiently and try to educate her.
Permalink Ian Boys 
January 12th, 2006
Yes it is normal. Not very nice, but perfectly normal.
Permalink a cynic writes... 
January 12th, 2006
Ignore all that stuff. I made sharware game (Working on a new one at the moment) and all my friends said that there was no way I could do it and I ignored them and I now make more money then they do working in Mcdonalds. I am happy knowing that when I get out of Highschool I will have a job working at what I am now but fulltime.
Permalink IMesh 
January 12th, 2006
Yeah, too bad about your mom, one would think at least she'd be supportive. But you should consider getting new friends and a new girlfriend, because life is short and the less negativity in your life, the better. Good luck with the courses.
Permalink Anonymous A-Hole 
January 12th, 2006
Pushing people down lifts your ego up. Saying that [x] is "stupid" or "moronic" or "only an idiot would like it" gives the impression that the speaker, of course, is intelligent enough to know whereof he/she speaks.

Look at how gleefully so many people like to point out that "The DaVinci Code" is a "hack job" or "barely literature." I might point out that very few of the people who say that have actually written novels themselves.

I often fall victim to it myself, though these days I do try to stick by two guidelines:
1) Constructive criticism
2) If you can't say something nice...

Permalink Philo 
January 12th, 2006
Yep join the fucking club. My fiance gives me a load of shit when I bring up even attending nursing school (with an eye toward upgrading to MD), and she's a nurse.
Permalink Mark Warner 
January 12th, 2006
Well, I guess I should keep my mouth shut about the DaVinci Code, then. ;-)

the thing that bugs me is that these are people close to me. if it was some random jerk, i wouldn't care. with friends and relatives it always makes me wonder a bit if maybe they are right...
Permalink _ 
January 12th, 2006
Pessimistic people tends to group together. And often those groups *hate it* when a member tries to improve their lot and pursue a goal. When someone close becomes successful, its invalidates all their negative attitudes and pessimism.

So if you are surrounded by negative attidues, chances are its because you are negative person too.
Permalink ronk! 
January 12th, 2006
Sometimes with parents it's a generational thing. In their lifetime, you picked a job and did it for 30 years. Every month a payslip arrived and at the end of it a party, a watch and a pension.

When I was running a start-up my mother used to (about once a week) ask me when I was going to get a proper job.

When I helped found (but not run) a start-up, she switched to when was I going to work for a proper company (like; not one run by someone she knew, I think).

Now I work for a company smaller than some of the start-ups, she's happy I've got a job where I'm just a minion again...

Very odd. You'd think she'd be keen on me making a place in the world for myself, but no. She just wants me to be a mid-level employee with a pension scheme.
Permalink Katie Lucas 
January 13th, 2006
Katie: Well my grandparents generation (I assume would be your parents generation because I am still in Highschool) went through the depression and a world war so are very paranoid about money and having a stable job where you get a normal anual pay check is safe, at least thats how my granparents are.
Permalink IMesh 
January 13th, 2006
Whether intended in such manner or not, it gives you a chance to weigh the options just that once more before taking the plunge. There are some who take "better safe than sorry" to the very extreme. Right or wrong, it's upto the individual. Normal? Yes.


>> Look at how gleefully so many people like to point out that "The DaVinci Code" is a "hack job" or "barely literature." I might point out that very few of the people who say that have actually written novels themselves.

I may be unqualified because my writings have been published, but then again I do not need to be murderer to know that killing is bad. Yet, "The DaVinci Code" is a "hack job" and "barely literature".
Permalink KayJay 
January 13th, 2006
Bloody hell IMesh. My parents were babies in the war and I'm 36. Maybe you should take a few extra history classes.
OTOH, if Katie really is in her sixties then I apologise.
Permalink Andy 
January 13th, 2006
DaVinci code wasn't horrible. It was on par with the Sue Grafton Alphabet Mystery series.

What, exactly, did you expect?
Permalink MarkTAW 
January 13th, 2006
On the off chance, you aren't an idiot and an asshole are you? Its always important to look at the other side of the argument.

People call me arrogant, but really who cares what the little people think?

Permalink flash91 
January 13th, 2006
You have to keep a lid on the lobster tank at the market, or the lobsters will all escape. Crabs can be kept in a bucket, because if one tries to escape, the rest pull it back.

Some people are like crabs: they will pull back anyone trying to escape from the bucket. Sometimes, the crabs holding you back in life are family or loved ones.
Permalink Peter 
January 13th, 2006

This topic was orginally posted to the off-topic forum of the
Joel on Software discussion board.

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