Give ne back my hat!

?off Joke Thread reborn

Brezhnev dies and goes to Hell. He's put into a kettle of boiling oil. After a while he sees Hitler close by, sitting behind a desk, reading a book. So he says indignantly,
'Are you telling me I've sinned more than him? So how come I'm suffering, and he's reading a book?'
One of the demons says,
'He's not reading a book. He's translating the complete works of Karl Marx into Hebrew.'
Permalink Flasher T 
August 29th, 2005
Along the same lines, from a Russian friend of mine :

Brezhnev dies and goes to Hell. He is met at the infernal gates by Satan, who leads him to a lake of boiling tar. "For your crimes against humanity," says Satan, "you are sentenced to stand in this lake of boiling tar up to your neck for all eternity." "But," says Brezhnev, "I see Hitler over there, and he's only standing in the lake up to his waist. What gives?" "Oh, don't mind him," says Satan. "He's standing on Stalin's shoulders."
Permalink Snark 
August 29th, 2005
Yeah, there are scores of these, unfortunately most of them only work in Russian...
Permalink Flasher T 
August 29th, 2005
An american ans a Russian both died and went to Hell. After an eternity, they ran into each other.

Russian: "So, how are things?"

American: "Not so bad. I have to eat a bucket of shit by noon every day, but after I get that done I can lounge around all I want. How about you?"

Russian: "Not so different. Every day I have to stand in line for my bucket of shit, though."

American: "Well, that sucks."

Russian: "It's not so bad. When you get to the head of the line, half the time they've run out of buckets, the other half they've run out of shit."
Permalink Aaron F Stanton 
August 29th, 2005
Russian humor is the blackest of the black. ;)

Another, just to monopolize the thread :
Told back in the Communist era --

A Russian man goes to the store to buy milk, bread, and cheese. When he finally gets to the front of the line, after waiting for hours in the freezing cold, he's told that the bread is sold out, the milk has gone bad, and there hasn't been cheese for weeks.

He is furious, and shouts, "This is ludicrous! This is insane! Yes, things were bad under the tsars, but they were never like this!"

A man behind him in line, wearing a long overcoat and leather gloves, comes up to him and whispers, "Comrade, you should be careful of what you say. Were a member of the KGB to hear you, and perhaps to question your patriotism, then ..." and he cocks his thumb and forefinger at the other man's head like he's shooting a pistol.

So the man goes home empty-handed. When he arrives at his apartment, his wife meets him at the door. "What's this?" she asks. "No bread? No milk? No cheese? Don't tell me they were out of -everything-?" "Worse yet," he says. "They're out of bullets, too."
Permalink Snark 
August 29th, 2005
In America, we had all the freedom to make fun of the President that we want. In communist Russia, they had the exact same freedom. They can make all the fun of the American Presisdent that they want.
Permalink Joel Coehoorn 
August 29th, 2005
What a country!
Permalink Yakov 
August 29th, 2005
In Soviet Russia, jokes tell you!
Permalink Mat Hall 
August 30th, 2005
Doesn't really fit the theme, but I went to lunch with a customer earlier this week. He wanted to go to Hooters. I don't know if it was 'original', but it was sure funny when he said "If their shorts get any shorter, they'll have to wear hair nets."
Permalink I am Jack's customer appreciation 
September 2nd, 2005

This topic was orginally posted to the off-topic forum of the
Joel on Software discussion board.

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