Sanding our assholes with 150 grit.

Cunnilingus

Might as well just start this thread...

So. What works for you?
Permalink sharkfish 
January 3rd, 2006
Um, are we going into detail here?
Permalink Misanthrope 
January 3rd, 2006
Hi I'm blank from the other thread.

My current girlfriend is not into it. she didn't want me to do it in the first place, because she thought it was "weird."
When I do it, she seems to really like it, but after a few minutes she says it "tickles too much" and makes me stop. This is really weird to me, because with my previous girlfriends oral sex made them orgasm very quickly and they could have cared less about intercourse. My current girlfriend really likes just getting "pounded" (her words) and would just rather not do the oral thing.

so, yeah. to each her own. jeez this conversation is way ?off.
Permalink  
January 3rd, 2006
Your girlfriend is frigid and hates sex.

Dump her.

Re: sharkfish

The alphabet trick seems to work really well.

SPELL MY NAME, BITCH.

:D
Permalink Mark Warner 
January 3rd, 2006
well she really likes the other type of sex, and giving me oral sex, so for sexual reasons, I'm not dumping her anytime soon. now only if I could get her to stop doing cocaine. ;-)
Permalink  
January 3rd, 2006
If she thinks cunnilingus is "yucky" then she's got issues. This is a pretty reliable litmus test. Trust me.

So you've got:

cocaine
covert sexual issues

Good fucking luck, dude.
Permalink Mark Warner 
January 3rd, 2006
she also refuses to take out her retainer during sex
Permalink  
January 3rd, 2006
Does she take it in the butt though?

How does one broach the subject of butt invasion to their girlfriend/wife? Is it one of those "whoops..." things?
Permalink ItSlipped! 
January 3rd, 2006
Oh my goodness. Cocaine, hates oral, and won't remove her retainer when she's blowing you? Dump her now.
Permalink sharkfish 
January 3rd, 2006
By the way, you don't have to hit it directly with your tongue until she's "warmed up".

The best part about it is the anticipation. Slowly work your way to the pearl, start from the outer edges, work your way inward.
Permalink sharkfish 
January 3rd, 2006
"By the way, you don't have to hit it directly with your tongue until she's "warmed up"."

Nope, just can't visualize it.

Guess you'll have to post pics...

[g,d,r]

Philo
Permalink Philo 
January 3rd, 2006
Ain't nothin' like the ol' "Hindlick Manuever". Especially when you can bend 'em over something, like a chair, or the kitchen table.
Permalink Star Wars Kid 
January 3rd, 2006
Don't forget "rodeo sex" - you get behind her, doggy style. Once you have a rhythm going, you say "You know, your sister does this better" and see how long you can hold on...
Permalink Philo 
January 3rd, 2006
" "You know, your sister does this better" and see how long you can hold on..."

That's how you get her excited. Kinda like your wife saying "pretend I'm your mother". Yeah.
Permalink sharkfish 
January 3rd, 2006
Hey, this was about eatin' pussy and you have to bring up the rodeo. Way to bum me out, Capt. Bringdown =)

Oh well. Better than a 'Tony Danza'.
Permalink Star Wars Kid 
January 3rd, 2006
Cunnlingus is for pussies ... hmm didn't turn out well. Let me do it again, cunnlingus is for a pussified man. I just fuck the broad in every possible form, would rather have 3 hole girls, and give her a nice facial.

Cunnilinugs is for pussifed American male retards.
Permalink Dan Denman 
January 4th, 2006
"Kinda like your wife saying "pretend I'm your mother"."

The girls I fuck call me daddy why's that i wonder.
Permalink Dan Denman 
January 4th, 2006
As the majority of sex happens in the head you can't just label someone as frigid because they have bad associations with mouth to genitalia. Many of those attitudes come from upbringing (it's dirty down there) and are very difficult to break.
Permalink Simon Lucy 
January 4th, 2006
Yes I certainly can Simon. I do it all the time.
Permalink Mark Warner 
January 4th, 2006
Personal experience doesn't generalise that well, just because you have doesn't mean others have.

I did know a woman who couldn't bear to have their clitoris touched at all, it was immediately painful for her. This didn't seem to affect her ability to have a fulfilling sexual experience though.
Permalink Simon Lucy 
January 4th, 2006
excite her a bit, chew an altoid and resume. Peppermint is interesting...
Permalink flash91 
January 4th, 2006

This topic was orginally posted to the off-topic forum of the
Joel on Software discussion board.

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