Sanding our assholes with 150 grit.

Take a break ...

Remember Abbott and Costello?

Lou buys a computer from Bud:
A: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
C: Yes thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
A: Mac?
C: No, the name's Lou.
A: Your computer?
C: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
A: Mac?
C: I told you, my name's Lou.
A: What about Windows?
C: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
A: Do you want a computer with Windows?
C: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
A: Wallpaper.
C: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
A: Software for Windows?
C: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
A: Office.
C: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
A: I just did.
C: You just did what?
A: Recommend something.
C: You recommended something?
A: Yes.
C: For my office?
A: Yes.
C: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
A: Office.
C: Yes, for my office!
A: I recommend Office with Windows.
C: I already have an office with w! indows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
A: Word.
C: What word?
A: Word in Office.
C: The only word in office is office.
A: The Word in Office for Windows.
C: Which word in office for windows?
A: The! Word you get when you click the blue "W".
C: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
A: Money.
C: That's right. What do you have?
A: Money.
C: I need money to track my money?
A: It comes bundled with your computer.
C: What's bundled with my computer?
A: Money.
C: Money comes with my computer?
A: Yes. No extra charge.
C: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
A: One copy.
C: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
A: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
C: They can give you a license to copy money?
A: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

A: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
C: How do I turn my computer off?
A: Click on "START".......
Permalink PNII 
January 21st, 2006
It was pretty cute until I got to the "Word" part. Then it was really funny.

I've always liked "Who's on first?". It was an Abbott and Costello trademark. Really, a dumb idea made hilarious by good execution, and Bud and Lou's personalities.
Permalink AllanL5 
January 21st, 2006
That was pretty good. Thanks. :)
Permalink KC 
January 21st, 2006
one more ... not worth it's own thread

Book Reports "My Life" and "Titanic"
Students were assigned to read and compare two books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary...basically the same thing.
Permalink PNII 
January 21st, 2006
Brilliant!
Permalink AllanL5 
January 21st, 2006
i should have changed:

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
Permalink PNII 
January 21st, 2006
No, I thought the "let's not go there..." comment was much funnier.
Permalink AllanL5 
January 21st, 2006

This topic was orginally posted to the off-topic forum of the
Joel on Software discussion board.

Other topics: January, 2006 Other topics: January, 2006 Recent topics Recent topics