Nobody likes to be called a dummy by a dummy.

Free Advice for Democrats

To any and all (big-D, American political party) Democrats out there:

It seems you have totally lost any ability to win an important election in the United States. As an advocate of a two (or more) party system, I will try to help you out.

Here is your issue:

Energy Independence

This can be your answer to almost any political question.

Foreign policy: "We will no longer need to be in the Middle East once we are no longer addicted to OPEC oil."

The economy: "To be competitive in the world market, we must make energy efficiency a national priority. Have you seen the price of oil lately? We need to be more productive with less energy if we want to remain competitive in the world. And we can make money innovating in this area, which is what we Americans do best."

The environment: "By being more efficient with our energy use and developing alternative energy sources, we will emit less greenhouse gases and pollute less in general."

Religion: "In the Bible, God made men and women stewards of his Creation. As a Christian, I believe it is our solemn responsibility before God to take good care of what he has made."

Now notice nowhere in there is reasoning like "because we must PUNISH the evil corporations who oppress the people!" Or "we must automatically be against anything George Bush is for!"

I hear many of you thinking "But we DID say all those things, and W still won!" Ah, that is the second lesson you must learn.

STAY ON MESSAGE.

Pretty much anyone can tell you the Bush policy on any given issue. Taxes: "Cut!" Social Security: "Private Accounts!" Foreign policy: "Democratize the Middle East!" (please note the smooth transition from "Stop WMDs!") Etc. etc.

This is because Bush repeats these things over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Beyond that, there are think tanks and media outlets that preach the same message. And they are consistent and patient. Liberals are still staggering from how conservatives have changed the debate on abortion to where it is a huge liability for Democrats. But this took years and decades of education campaigns, providing sonograms to crisis pregnancy centers, etc.

So remember, the answer to every question: Energy Independence. Work it into your social security policy. Work it into the gay marriage debate. Just keep repeating it until every last person in the country knows that's a Democrat idea.

And as a Republican who wants some kind of meaningful opposition to keep my party honest, good luck.
Permalink Jim Rankin 
March 4th, 2005
Mr. Rankin: I very much appreciate the fair-mindedness, belive me. But I don't honestly think that energy independence is sexy enough to sell most Americans. I *so* wish I were wrong on that.

Seriously, we can't get people to stop outsourcing their own jobs via Wal-Mart; how on earth are we going to make it patriotic to trade in the jacked-up Humvee on a hybrid?

I'm not being rhetorical; I'm drop-dead serious, b/c I've more or less despaired of the whole idea. Fresh reason for hope would be greatly appreciated.
Permalink cubiclegrrl 
March 4th, 2005
"how on earth are we going to make it patriotic to trade in the jacked-up Humvee on a hybrid?"

Bzzzzzt! Do NOT talk about sacrifice, and what Mr. and Mrs. voter have to give up. Americans HATE thinking someone else is trying to run their lives.

Technology. Tell people "If we put a man on the moon with a ten year program, we can create a car that runs on something other than gas in a ten year program."

Tell people there's technology to turn garbage into oil:

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/11/1125_031125_turkeyoil.html

Why doesn't the Bush administration want you to know about it???

It's all about the packaging.
Permalink Jim Rankin 
March 4th, 2005
> how on earth are we going to make it patriotic to trade in the jacked-up Humvee on a hybrid

A tangent, but on the subject of "making it patriotic" ... in England during WWII it was patriotic to economize: it helped the war effort. Does the American government now (the government in power, not parties seeking power in election year) ever advertise anything to the American people? The reason *why* I know what was considered patriotic in England in WWII is that I've seen some of the posters: the propaganda, advertising things like 'no loose talk about troop movements', 'buy war bonds', 'don't waste food'; or, from the States, 'remember pearl harbour', 'your country needs you', 'Do with less--so they'll have enough! : rationing gives you your fair share', etc.
Permalink Christopher Wells 
March 4th, 2005
Mr. Rankin: Thanks for the thoughts. Does Howard Dean have your card? ;-) And, too, you made me realize that you can probably bang the "independence" drum pretty hard, too. Many, many thanks.

Mr. Wells: You are so right. Honestly, that's something I wondered about not long after 9/11, well before "When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Osama" came out. Instead, we Americans were overtly encouraged to spend to stave off the recessionary crunch that the shockwaves of 9/11 would supposedly send through the tottering economy. I even remember my husband half-sarcastically rationalizing some purchase or another with "Gotta keep the economy strong!"
Permalink cubiclegrrl 
March 4th, 2005
To any and all (big-R, American political party) Republicans out there:

It seems you have totally grained any ability to win an important election in the United States. As an advocate of a two (or more) party system, I will try to keep you on course.

Here is your issue:

Gay Marriage

This can be your answer to almost any political question.

Foreign policy: "Don't let the gays and their liberal agenda keep us from our manifest destiny to rule the globe with an iron fist."

The economy: "If we keep the gays in Sanfransisco (and Hollywood), where they belong, there will be plenty more jobs in the heartland for hardworking, straight, mullet-sporting Americans."

The environment: "Only gays care about the environment."

Religion: "Gay sex is icky, God says so. If keep the gays down, God will love us."

Simple and effective.
Permalink Almost Anonymous 
March 4th, 2005
Thanks. Really.
Permalink Jim Rankin 
March 5th, 2005
Democrats, consistent, that's a joke. They stick their finger in the air to see which way the wind is blowing for direciton on policy. About the only thing the dem's can be consistent on is their hate for Bush, Republicans, Christians, and the South. And looks where that has gotten them. What is ironic is the democrats are supposted to be the party of the little guy, the party of tolerance and openeness and their whole platform is built on HATE. I see another republican in the oval office for 2008 and some more red states turning over. But guess what, then the dem's will be forced to change their position to a more "centrist/moderate" view. No intergrity or consistency left in the party of the donkey.
Permalink Steve-O 
March 5th, 2005
"whole platform is built on HATE"

Two words: Gay Marriage.
(in case you missed my posting above)

Lets face it, the entire fucking country is built on hate no matter what polictical party you happen to side with.

You think it's so great that there is a Republican in the White House; well what does that get you? What's your personal gain? Maybe you have Halliburton stock perhaps? Or are you just happy you're on the winning side?

The more politics is about one side over the other the less it's about anything else. Unless you're really rich then your choice in candidates is just as stupid as anyone elses.
Permalink Almost Anonymous 
March 5th, 2005
"You think it's so great that there is a Republican in the White House"

Ahhh... if only we could have a conservative in the White House. How nice that would be...

Anyone know any that might run?

Philo
Permalink Philo 
March 5th, 2005
Festering Corpse of Ayn Rand in '08
Permalink Devil's Advocate 
March 5th, 2005
Forget the Democrats. They're a party of losers. Just look at the guy who's running them -- Howard Dean. He won DNC chair because he lost.

Anyway, I suppose many Republicans hate that "long-haired hippy freak" Jesus, so appealing to true Christianity won't work for them. The merchants are having their way with the temple.

Jim has the right perspective though: "It's all about the packaging." Use Christianity as if you were a devil quoting Scripture, for your own ends.
Permalink Tayssir John Gabbour 
March 5th, 2005
A conservative PR company chairman once went on Daily Show once to plug his book, which is about how he effectively used grassroots tactics to put "conservatives" in power:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1566252520/002-0507916-1680847?v=glance

Apparently he wrote this because he perceived his hard work twisted by Bush anti-conservatives. The book might cost money, but you probably get what you pay for. ;) I haven't read it yet though.

On the other side of the fence, if you're a serious grassroots person, you'll likely enjoy this online video series from He Who Must Not Be Named:
http://www.lehetmasavilag.hu/chomsky.html
Permalink Tayssir John Gabbour 
March 5th, 2005
"Ahhh... if only we could have a conservative in the White House. How nice that would be..."

True indeed.  Bush is no true conservative, but knows how to play one, somewhat well (or let's just say he has some conservative like leanings). I would go on a limb to say that most conservatives already know this about Bush. He's a politician. The name of the game is which candidate/party is more likely to play ball and support your issues: for conservatives it was Bush & Republicans. Conservatives did not stand a chance to be at the table and be heard with Liberal Democrats. So is GWB a true conservative? Nope, not at all. But conservatives have a better chance of moving the ball a couple yards to the right with him.
Permalink Steve-O 
March 5th, 2005
" Festering Corpse of Ayn Rand in '08"

LOL! Good one...
Permalink Steve-O 
March 5th, 2005
"Forget the Democrats. They're a party of losers. Just look at the guy who's running them -- Howard Dean. He won DNC chair because he lost."

It's a joke over there at the DNC headquarters. Look who the party leaders are: Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Donna Brasil, Hillary Clinton. Geez, you're practically giving the election away. It almost seems to be a consiparcy somewhere, that the Democrats keep hedging there bets with loser candidates. I think the Corpse of Ayn Rand can one :) If Bush could get another term, he would even one.
Permalink Steve-O 
March 5th, 2005
Steve-O: Any predictions as to whom the GOP will run in 08? My husband and I have been knocking that around over the dinner table, and we're not really coming up with any front runners. Run Jeb Bush and it seems too much like a dynasty. Run John McCain and you've got a loose cannon, not to mention all the dirt from his "Keating 5" days. Dick Cheney has too many health problems, plus he gets to be the "bad cop" in the "good cop"/"bad cop" game, which ain't gonna help. Too many people dislike Rumsfeld, it seems. Rice hasn't enough poise under pressure. Whitman's articulate and camera-ready and credentialed enough, but the neo-con and religious right camps would rebel. DeLay has too many skeletons in his closet. Thompson's let himself get too obscure, and I think that some of his business dealings while Governor will stand up to the light of day.

Frankly we're kinda stumped. Nobody currently in Washington really seems to stand out, so we're kinda guessing that the GOP will polish up a governor. Care to make any predictions? I promise, I won't hold you to them. :)
Permalink cubiclegrrl 
March 5th, 2005
Oops--that should be "Thompson's let himself get too obscure, and I DON'T think that some of his business dealings while Governor stand up to the light of day." Sorry for any confusion...
Permalink cubiclegrrl 
March 5th, 2005
"Care to make any predictions?  I promise, I won't hold you to them.  :)"

I predict that the constitution will be amended so that a certain governor can be on the GOP ticket.
Permalink  
March 5th, 2005
What about Senator Frist as the GOP presidential nominee? I think Jeb will run, maybe Tommy Thompson too?
Permalink Wisea** 
March 6th, 2005
"I predict that the constitution will be amended so that a certain governor can be on the GOP ticket."

If the legislature doesn't screw him.

This really pisses me off, tho - just like the Cheney/Bush same state thing. Several hundred million adults in this nation, and we have to break rules to run the people we want to run? Is it so very hard to find a citizen over 35 who has the capability to run the country?

Of course the press has really screwed us on this - making sure that you can't run unless your past can survive the scrutiny. Good, honest, hardworking people don't want to even play the game.

Philo
Permalink Philo 
March 6th, 2005
I could see a Frist/Bush ticket. Or possibly a Frist/Rice ticket. Possibly Guiliani may want to make a bid for the GOP Nomination, but not sure if he would survive the primaries.
Permalink Steve-O 
March 6th, 2005
"Rice hasn't enough poise under pressure."

Huh? Condoleeza Rice (unless there's another Rice you're talking about) has been called to testify on the Hill multiple times, and generally hands the Congress critters their hats.

I would love it if she did run, though. Self made, academic prodigy, Standford provost, black woman granddaughter of a sharecropper who's a strong debater and pretty much unflappable. A smart black woman who can speak her own mind and succeed on her own merits is a Democrat's worst nightmare.
Permalink Jim Rankin 
March 6th, 2005
But what about the Democrats? Right now looks like Hillary, and we Republicans better not underestimate her.

I'd like to see Giuliani run, too. Certainly more conservative on Bush, but needs to moderate his out of the mainstream views on abortion if he wants to succeed in the national primaries.
Permalink Jim Rankin 
March 6th, 2005
"Right now looks like Hillary, and we Republicans better not underestimate her."

Sorry, didn't check my spelling. That should be "misunderestimate her".
Permalink Jim Rankin 
March 6th, 2005
Hillary Clinton would be the best thing to happened to the Republican party. She would do more to mobilize the conservative vote than any mass mailing campaign. If she ran, I could see another landslide victory for 08 for red-state America.
Permalink Steve-O 
March 7th, 2005
Steve-O


I don't know if I agree with you about Ms. Clinton. Right now she is probably as close to a mainstream American candidate as the Democrats are likely to nominate. I also think that many Americans worry when all three branches of American government are in the control of one party. I do.
Permalink SSG Sam Eaton AUS ret 
March 8th, 2005
++Or are you just happy you're on the winning side?

Cheetos and wrestling man, Cheetos and wrestling....

I'm definitely more Dem than Rep and I don't hate christians or the south.

I do hate morons who stick with their man no matter his behavior, attitude, or motivations are in the ring. Too many voters do exactly that. Unfortunately for our country, the numbers suggest more of those people are Republican.
Permalink I am Jack's Chester Cheetah wrestler 
March 9th, 2005
"I do hate morons who stick with their man no matter his behavior, attitude, or motivations are in the ring. Too many voters do exactly that."

Funny, I felt the same thing about the liberal "morons" from 1992-2000. Talk about stand by your man!

* Whitewatergate
* Cattlegate
* Nannygate
* Helicoptergate
* Travelgate
* Gennifer Flowersgate
* Filegate
* Vince Fostergate
* I Wonder Where Those Whitewater Billing Records Came Fromgate
* Paula Jonesgate
* Federal Building Campaign Phone Callgate
* Lincoln Bedroomgate
* White House Coffeegate
* Donations From Convicted Drug And Weapons Dealersgate
* Buddhist Templegate
* Web Hubbell Hush Moneygate
* Lippogate
* Chinese Commiegate
* Let's Blame Kenneth Starrgate
* Zippergate/interngate - Lewinsky Affair
* Perjury And Jobs For Lewinskygate
* Willeygate
* Web Hubbell Prison Phone Callgate
* Selling Military Technology To The Chinese Commiesgate
* Coverup For Our Russian Comrades As Wellgate
* Wag-The-Dog-Gate
* Jaunita Broaddrick Gate
* Pbs-Gate
* Email-Gate
* Vandalgate
* Lootergate
* Pardongate
Permalink Steve-O 
March 10th, 2005

This topic was orginally posted to the off-topic forum of the
Joel on Software discussion board.

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