Y'all are a bunch of wankers!

[expletive deleted] DBA's


I'm working with a DBA to build a demo - I send him the original spreadsheet with the data and a backup of the database so he can help to build a cube off it.

So he's gone and rebuilt the database to build the cube off it. WTF?!?!?!


Permalink Send private email Philo 
January 30th, 2006 12:16pm
was it a crap design before?
Permalink Kenny 
January 30th, 2006 12:19pm
So it doesn't stand for Does Bugger All?
Permalink Send private email Flasher T 
January 30th, 2006 12:21pm
Nope - 3rd normal form. He rebuilt it to make it easier to build a cube from (for example pulled a date field into a separate table)

This is why I hate DBA's. They have got *such* tunnel vision...

Permalink Send private email Philo 
January 30th, 2006 12:22pm
That is what you tend to do with cubes...
Permalink Send private email Simon Lucy 
January 30th, 2006 12:23pm
I hate DBAs because they won't talk to me. Them and the sysadmins sit in their own hermetic restricted access box and will not lift a finger to give me the information that nobody except them has access to. The most passive-agressive bunch of bastards.

One of the very few times in this company I've been yelled at or yelled at someone myself was when one of the project managers tried to get me to extract information from the DBAs, and I tried to get him to do it. Both of us knew we would not be successful.
Permalink Send private email Flasher T 
January 30th, 2006 12:25pm
It' ok when the do that. You havent come across my co-worker who will add parameters to stored procs without any initmation.
Try using using a function which says-

login(int customer_id, string customer_name, object password)

and you'll know why aspirin is not good for me.
And wait a sec, the password is for a third party software; how am I supposed to get that from the user ?
Permalink Send private email Vineet Reynolds 
January 30th, 2006 12:35pm
Simon - my experience with cubes (granted, not a lot of experience) is that you draw the data into the cube to slice and dice it; you don't reconstruct the underlying data source to suit your analysis needs...

Permalink Send private email Philo 
January 30th, 2006 12:39pm
No you don't, unless the form its in can give you duplicates.
Permalink Send private email Simon Lucy 
January 30th, 2006 1:25pm
I dunno man, it's sort of like crosstabs, sometimes you simply cannot do what you wish to do with them in the form they are in. Or maybe a better analogy is you can't be a crosstab the way you like with the data the way it is. You must change the structure if you wish to do so.

But I'll agree that hardcore DBA's can be a pain in the ass to work with. You have to be very detailed, semantic, and slightly obsessive compulsive to want to be a DBA.
Permalink Send private email I am Jack's expletive exception 
January 30th, 2006 1:49pm
Oh sweet.

He pulled the years out into a separate table. As integers. So I get *NO* time intelligence on the cube - can't do running averages, don't get automatic ordering or lag by year....

Let me just go back and redo everything.

God I hate DBA's.

Permalink Send private email Philo 
January 30th, 2006 8:35pm
Once upon a couple jobs ago, we needed to use queues in oracle, so the dba refused to type "grant access on (packagename) to (usergroup)". 6 words. Too much work. We had meetings upon meetings. The last one had me, my boss, and my boss' boss. Across the table was the dba, her boss, and her boss' boss. The final result was "no, you can't have that, we'd have to bring down the server during the middle of the day, and that isn't allowed." Not 30 minutes after the final word was said, they had to restore the entire live database because some idiot in another dept moved the wrong tax tables live. Was I allowed to get my magic 6 words just before it went down for 4 hours in the middle of a busy day? Hell no, the bitch punched me.
Permalink Peter 
January 30th, 2006 9:50pm
Did you punch the bitch back?
Permalink Anon 
January 30th, 2006 9:53pm
Ok, they're an idiot unless they're doing something like a client of mine did today and showed me proudly 'Look here's this spreadsheet and I've converted this date into a code with the customer type and then used lookup() creating the code in Excel from the data was _hard_.

I'm not sure he was pleased or not when I showed him how to do the same thing in the original query of the data.
Permalink Send private email Simon Lucy 
January 31st, 2006 12:24am

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