Sanding our assholes with 150 grit.

Pretending you're crazy to a psychiatrist

..is actually incredibly easy.

All you need to do to convince them you're bonkers is to say: "There is _absolutely_ _nothing_ wrong with me".

Then you go on to say that you "feel better every month", on average. Then do your best to appear normal during the entire session, and just as she thinks you're really improving, casually mention how you are planning on murdering your parents, or how you have everything prepared for suicide, hehe.
Permalink Dr. Horrorwitz 
February 11th, 2009 12:59pm
Be careful though. when they think you're deteriorating, they will up your dose and do a blood test.
Permalink Dr. Horrorwitz 
February 11th, 2009 1:00pm
Or they know that you're totally full of shit but they're imagining five years from now being questioned by the on your mental state.
Permalink Michael B 
February 11th, 2009 1:03pm
by the POLICE on your mental state
Permalink Michael B 
February 11th, 2009 1:04pm
Please.  Psychiatrists don't care if you're crazy -- that's Psychologists that do that.

Psychiatrists just want to figure out which drug to use on you, and which dosage to put it at.
Permalink SaveTheHubble 
February 11th, 2009 1:05pm
I'm not sure they think I'm full of shit because they said they wanted to put me in the nuthouse for 5 weeks, but they didn't want to force me at that stage yet, and I refused.
Permalink Dr. Horrorwitz 
February 11th, 2009 1:05pm
Stubble is right. Very interesting.

The psychiatrists I had (4 or 5) all were the same. They TOTALLY couldn't give a fuck about me or my problems, and only were trying to see what dose worked best.
Permalink Dr. Horrorwitz 
February 11th, 2009 1:06pm
You need to pretend?
Permalink el 
February 11th, 2009 1:07pm
Yeah, no pretending necessary Horror.
Permalink  
February 11th, 2009 1:11pm
Here in Norway they already call you crazy if you say that aliens are flying around everywhere and that the Mossad did 9/11 with secret micro-nukes.
Permalink Dr. Horrorwitz 
February 11th, 2009 1:11pm
I once told my shrink that I saw one of her spies in the subway, studying me. I was afraid I was overdoing it, but she seemed very pleased and vindicated.
Permalink Dr. Horrorwitz 
February 11th, 2009 1:12pm
He THINKS he needs to pretend, because he doesn't realize how out of the mainstream his "normal" has become.

Plus, it's almost impossible to appear "normal" to a psychiatrist -- he has a drug for that too -- people who try to appear too "normal" have some OCD complex.
Permalink SaveTheHubble 
February 11th, 2009 1:13pm
You see, I didn't speak Norwegian, not even after quite a few years in this country. When they let me see a shrink, I noticed that it involved a lot of talking (my talking) in Norwegian. Those shrinks wanted to talk in Norwegian.

So I decided to keep those shrinks on (for 4 years or so already). They are solely responsible for me having passed my Norwegian exams 2 and 1 day ago.

Granted, customer contact did a lot, but I  only could HAVE customer contact at all due to the psychiatrists' Norwegian lessons.
Permalink Dr. Horrorwitz 
February 11th, 2009 1:14pm
This brain infection I am suffering from gave paranoia-like symptoms 4 years ago because I under-dosed my antibiotics.

So I told them I have bacteria in my head. That did the trick, LOL.
Permalink Dr. Horrorwitz 
February 11th, 2009 1:19pm
Norwegians only talk when they're drunk.
Permalink Dr. Horrorwitz 
February 11th, 2009 1:20pm
Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.
Permalink Michael B 
February 11th, 2009 1:40pm
Why does anyone care if you are not a threat to yourselves or others?
Permalink Send private email Rick Tang 
February 11th, 2009 5:11pm
Because if you ARE a threat to yourself or others, then they're responsible (by law) to do something about it.

If not, then whatever.
Permalink SaveTheHubble 
February 12th, 2009 9:25am

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