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Dating site use patterns

Here's how I land one date.
I read 20-30 profiles, email about 15 of them.  2-3 respond.  I respond to their responses.  If they respond again I suggest we continue over drinks.  Nobody has flaked over plans yet (sample size being 6).

Requires about an hour a week of commitment.  More than 2 first dates a month seems exhausting to me.

My ex's approach was way different.  She logs in and waits for guys to IM her cold.  She used to try contacting guys directly but most didn't respond, so now she just sits and waits.  A few dozen guys respond and she spends several hours a day chatting with them.  Nets about one first date a week.

She fucks about half of them, whereas I'm only about 15%

I guess she's optimizing her face time whereas I'm optimizing my internet time.
Permalink Send private email Michael B (iPhone) 
June 26th, 2009 10:05am
I always make sure the first date is set up as a might-fuck date.

This means chatting a little bit, finding out why the girl is doing online dating, if she's any fun, etc. At this point I want to weed out the ones looking to get married or start a "serious" relationship, because that's not what I'm looking for.

Then set up the date close to her place (preferred) or close to mine. Make sure this is NOT a restaurant date. That way if all goes well we can down our drinks and run to bed. Plus it solves the problem of who pays the bill.

If we have 2 rounds of drinks, I like to have her pay one, that way she feels like she's in charge.

After a few dates, I found that I was always following the same script, saying the same stuff at the same time, and my success rate went up.

But yeah, there's some chatting involved during the preliminary screening.

Also, I tend to sit and wait, instead of sending the 1st message (I say this on my profile BTW), and I get contacted fairly often (more than I would have expected) but not by super-hotties though.

Can't have everything...
Permalink Send private email Nobody important 
June 26th, 2009 12:35pm
I'm not at the point where I feel I'm wasting my time on a date, even if it doesn't lead to sex.  People have twisted interesting lives, and they make good stories sometimes.
I'd much rather connect with people face to face than over the internet/telephone.
As my game improves I'm sure I can start closing even gold-diggers who would normally refuse to fuck on the first date.
A sale is made on every call, and all that...
Permalink Michael B 
June 26th, 2009 1:18pm
Well, you're new at this...
Permalink SaveTheHubble 
June 26th, 2009 1:23pm
Your ex is a ho.

No offense.
Permalink Kenny 
June 26th, 2009 1:37pm
No shit.
Permalink Michael B 
June 26th, 2009 1:39pm
And he's a horn-dog people-user.  The only question I have is, which came first?  Has he ALWAYS been a horn-dog?  Or was he driven to it?

I don't think he was driven to it, frankly.
Permalink SaveTheHubble 
June 26th, 2009 1:39pm
> Your ex is a ho

The ex just wants to get laid, just like he does. That doesn't make her bad. She succeeds more often because girls always have it easier.

Sorry for pointing out the obvious. (It IS obvious, right?)
Permalink Send private email Nobody important 
June 26th, 2009 2:19pm
who said being a ho was bad?
Permalink Colm 
June 26th, 2009 2:22pm
Well Kenny implied it by adding "no offense"

Me, I think "ho" is a compliment ...
Permalink Send private email Nobody important 
June 26th, 2009 2:24pm
Oh. He knows people care. Just look at Captain O...
Permalink Rick Tang 
June 26th, 2009 2:50pm
I am tired of online dating sites, despite using them with a little success.

I need to get out of my apartment more and actually meet people in face to face life.

Too bad I hate people so much.
Permalink Aaron 
June 26th, 2009 6:19pm
Everyone uses everyone Hubble.  I know you're not this naive.
Permalink Send private email Michael B (iPhone) 
June 26th, 2009 7:27pm
Oh.  Thanks.  I kind of wondered what kind of justification a horn-dog would tell himself to justify his acting like a horn-dog.

"Everybody does it".  It's not much, but it's something.
Permalink SaveTheHubble 
June 27th, 2009 9:03am
Why would you need justification?
Permalink Aaron 
June 27th, 2009 9:33am
Everybody needs justification.

Not logically, no, but everyone wants to be able to explain themselves at some point.
Permalink SaveTheHubble 
June 27th, 2009 10:03am

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